So, how long did you wait before you dtd? Anyone wait a really long time?

[fawnanddoe]

I feel freakish almost.

DS is 5 months old and I still haven't dtd. I have absolutely no desire to at all. Part of the reason might be that I am on zoloft for PPD, but yeah, it's not there.

Am I alone in this? Anyone waited longer?

[gossamerwindweb]

[texaspeach]

You aren't alone. it's been almost 4 months. we've tried a few times but it's still really painful between the pain and bfing doing a number on my hormones, I really don't have much interest. I want to "want" to but it' just not there.

[Mal85]

DD is 9 months old and we've done it 3 times.

DD was 4 months old before we even tried.

[mambera]

Originally Posted by fawnanddoe

I feel freakish almost.

DS is 5 months old and I still haven't dtd. I have absolutely no desire to at all. Part of the reason might be that I am on zoloft for PPD, but yeah, it's not there.

Am I alone in this? Anyone waited longer?

We've done it maybe 3-4x (LO is 6 months).

But I'm really posting to say I just visited your blog and it sounds like you have been going through A LOT in the past 5 months. Like, A LOT. Hugs to you and I don't think your lack of desire sounds 'freakish' at all (many many women experience a big drop in libido after birth and while breastfeeding), but add in PPD, Zoloft and cancer tx and, well, I'd be way more surprised if you *were* feeling up to dtd.

Go easy on yourself mama.

[sunshynbaby]

4 months and counting here. We just don't have the time/energy!

[MadiMamacita]

not alone mama.
things picked up for me in the libido dept after AF returned..

[moonmom08]

At least 4 months here, I think. Might have been longer.

ETA: And when we did DTD, it was defo more for DH than me! I probably could have gone longer

[SarahElizabeth]

Originally Posted by moonmom08

At least 4 months here, I think. Might have been longer.

ETA: And when we did DTD, it was defo more for DH than me! I probably could have gone longer

This! To be entirely honest, if we only did it when i was raring to go, it would have been.. once or twice since DS was born in january.

[Straggletag]

While we've managed to dtd within six weeks of both births, it's a pretty rare event for us. Before 1mo was born, we hadn't had sex in months and we weren't managing it at much frequency pre-pregnancy either. That's just life with small children, I suppose. Nevertheless, I can say that it gets better in fits and starts. We were almost back to normal when our first child was two, but then various stresses would set us back. Please go easy on yourself, everyone varies so much.

[AVeryGoodYear]

First time that I remotely felt any desire and we tried was about 15 weeks post-partum. It felt horrible & I called it off, he was very understanding. I got AF back when baby was 6.5mo, and that didn't change a thing about my, err, mojo; I still don't have a lot of drive. However, in the past two months we've dtd three times (baby's 10mo now) and it feels good & comfortable now, not achy & pinchy & painful, so that's good at least!

I'm actually participating in a post-partum study with New World Sex Education - http://newworldsexeducation.com/cale...p?calendarid=4 - you might want to check out their site and some of their resources, and in particular Jaiya's blog. I find that my biggest challenge isn't making time for myself and my husband, it's getting my mind into a place where I'm not JUST mommy, but I'm also a wife and a sexual creature, and for me, reading about sex, intimacy, etc really helps remind me of that side of myself. I don't believe in "fake it til you make it" -- I think sex should be a genuine connection, not something you force yourself to do.

In conclusion though, be understanding and accepting of yourself. *hugs!*

[gossamerwindweb]

Originally Posted by mambera

...I just visited your blog and it sounds like you have been going through A LOT in the past 5 months. Like, A LOT. Hugs to you and I don't think your lack of desire sounds 'freakish' at all (many many women experience a big drop in libido after birth and while breastfeeding), but add in PPD, Zoloft and cancer tx and, well, I'd be way more surprised if you *were* feeling up to dtd.

... that is what I wanted to say! With everything you have gone through it is no wonder that you have zero libido

[BlueWolf]

5 months here... and I'm starting to feel guilty about it. I have no desire to do it but I know DH needs some love.. urgh.

[GreenGranolaMama]

I know it is different for everyone... What is the earliest they say it's ok? 6 weeks? Ok so it was the day before that lol I didn't really have pain anymore, but it still didn't feel quite right / all that awesome for a long time, and the first couple of times, I had to put the breaks on because I just wasn't feeling it...

When DS was around 4mo I was starting to get freaked out and really upset that it was going to be like that forever... but DS is 7mo now and I'm just now really starting to really enjoy myself again. But we used to dtd like 3 or 4 x a week and now, with DH working so much and me being completely exhausted... we are lucky if it is once a week.

[nukuspot]

dd is 8 months, we've dtd twice. First time was about the 5 month mark. I still have zero libido. Poor DH...

[Lacrymosa]

Asia is 5 months old, we've DTD two times... we waited at least 4 months though. Theres just never an opportunity!!

[Lacrymosa]

Well.. that and I have seriously never felt so UN-sexy in my life. That really kills my libido.

[Abraisme]

We waited 3 weeks. I also don't have any sex drive, but I enjoy the closeness and it makes my husband feel needed and connected. We probably dtd about 4 times a week. I really feel strange if we go too long without it, even if I don't have the "desire". I suppose it's mostly for my husbands well-being though, he's really emotionally sensitive and feels let out easily. I don't want him to have to feel second to the baby. He goes to a job everyday that is doesn't like to support our family and allow me to be home. It's the least I can do really. Also, we have a very mellow baby that sleeps a lot, which makes it easier because I'm not sleep deprived.

[ariannasmama]

We waited almost 6 months. It's hard being a new mommy and although he didn't want to admit it, he was nervous from witnessing the birth and b/c he didn't want to pressure or hurt me. Once we got past it and made it a priority, we got back into the swing of things ok. Don't get me wrong, we are nothing like we were in our newlywed days, but we still remember to take time to connect, which is important!

Good luck!!

[CrunchyKnitter]

Hey girl! Lucas will be 4 months on Thurs. and we still haven't. I had trouble healing from my tear so at my 6 week check up I got a big fat "NO WAY" from the midwife lol, but have been (I think) okay for a couple weeks now. Between DH work schedule (14 hr days away from home) it's very hard and so we just haven't yet!