4 mo only nurses in bed

[coastielu]

Hi-
any one have experience with this? My 4 month old son, till now a terrific nurser is going on kind of a strike. He learned how to arch his back last week, and since then, basically will not nurse unless we are lying down in bed. This is my favorite way as well (relaxing!) but not practical, if, say, we are at a friends house, restaraunt, etc. I think part of it is that he is more distractable.

What do I do when clearly he is hungry, but I put him to my breast and he arches his back and wails? If I force the issue, he will latch on and nurse. Sometimes just for a moment, other times for a while. But that feels wrong, and make both of us upset. I want to be able to leave the house AND have a happy, well fed baby.

[EmilyG]

I feel for you! My dd will be 4 months on Thursday and she just finished a similar nursing strike. I basically had to give her no other option but to nurse when she was hungry after 4 days of refusing to nurse (I was giving in and pumping and bottle feeding her). I sat in a quiet, dark room and tried to feed her. She arched, and screamed, and I stood up, calmed her down, and tried again. After having to try repeatedly (4-5) times she would finally nurse, though sometimes like you said, only for a minute or so. We went through this for a few feedings, and now she is back to her normal happy nursing self.
So I think it's just a phase, it looks like her two bottom teeth are ready to break through the skin, plus she had a cold, and I think that was partically the cause of the strike, but after 4 aweful days, I think she's finally over it! Hopefully your little guy will get over it soon too!

[cdmommie]

We went through the same thing around 4 months. And to be honest we just had to wait for it to pass. I don't want to scare you, but DD2 did this for almost 3 months! She absolutly refused to nurse anywhere but my bed. And once or twice I had really important things that had to be done out of the house and she just didn't nurse for 6 hours (and made up for it at night). I tried several times and she refused. I took a sippy cup of breastmilk (with no "spill protector" on it) and she would occationally take a few sips to curb her thirst. But for the most part I just didn't take her out for more than a couple hours at a time.
Hopefully it gets better for you soon but if not, just remember that it won't be forever and stick close to home

[Super~Single~Mama]

Happened to us to, at the same age! Just offer a few times (gently) while in other positions - even at home. If he really won't nurse then lay down with him.

I used to have to get creative when I was out and about. I would lay down in grass, or lay on peoples floors (if they looked clean). It was funny.

[GoGoGirl]

Yep, that happened to us too! Right around that same age, or maybe a little earlier.

So I've nursed on the floors of my friends houses, the airport, and even a baby store!

The only way I could get DD to breastfeed without laying down was by breastfeeding her in the mei tai or wrap (upright, not cradle, she would NOT do that) while we were outside walking. I did try to at least offer her some sitting up nursing sessions, but she just wouldn't do it.

Just this month, DD has started letting me feed her while she's sitting in my lap. It's SO liberating. But she only stays in my lap for more than a few moments if I give her a toy to bang against me while she's eating. So now I'm doing most of our nursing sessions while getting clonked repeatedly with a block. Oh, what we do for our babies!

[Llyra]

DD2 did that, too, and at about that same age. We just kept trying. I'd give in and go to the bed when I could, but sometimes I just couldn't. Have you tried nursing while walking around, in a carrier if you can't hold her while you walk? That was what finally cured DD. She stayed in that phase for about a month, and then it passed. I would say just keep trying....

[Carlin]

DD did this around 4 month too. Especially when she was over tired. After a few weeks she went back to her normal routine. I did find that she would also nurse if I stood up and bounced her while nursing - also not very convenient but a little more feasible when out in public.

I agree with the pp. Just keep trying different things and eventually this phase will pass. s

[half-pigeon]

we are going through this right now. DS just turned 5 mos & this has been going on for at least a month. seems to go with the age. he get easily distracted. i am hoping this won't last much longer. it makes it so hard to leave the house. we stay home a lot. if he is falling asleep, i can sometimes slip a nipple in his mouth as he nods off.

[coastielu]

x

[coastielu]

Ugh! Still generally fussy, and now he will only nurse in bed about 50% of the time without hollering. I am starting to wonder if I am really missing his signals that nad? After a horrible night, I took him to the doc wondering if he had an ear infection. No ear infection, and her take on the nursing strike: "Maybe he has just learned how to manipulate you."

WTF? At barely 5 months old, is this the guiding theory? thank you for all the kind words- makes me feel like I am not "crazy" or "imagining because I am sensitive." (I am normally a very calm and non-reactive person, I swear!) I tried nursing him in the carrier this morning, no dice, but he did eventually nurse on the floor of conference room at the doctors office... so we have a little flexibility...

Thanks!

[Llyra]

Having a preference, and expressing it, is not the same as "manipulating." I hate it when people talk about babies like that, as if they're not people, too, like the rest of it, entitled to have preferences.

I think with my DD2 it was that she figured out that if she nursed in upright positions, she had to share my attention with my other kids, and DH, and the TV, and the housework, and visitors, and she didn't like that. If we had to go lie down in the bed, it meant she got my undivided attention during her nursing, and she really wanted that.

[SpiderMum]

It's a phase. My DD went through this exact same thing around that age. Give it time, he'll grow out of it.

[coastielu]

Llyra-
I think you are on to it. I am pretty convinced it is a combo of not wanting to share (all of sudden he notices if I try to read a book behind his head, cranes his head around and wants to see what else I am paying attention too!) and being really distractable. In bed, quiet time is a place where he consistently gets my full attention, and there are not many novel things to look at.

Such good practice in being in the moment, smelling his beautiful head, and soaking in the brief, visceral pleasures of mama-hood. Good reminder.