Ped and retraction run-in... wwyd? (also posted in my Tribe for new Ped suggestions)

[pagodafish]

Mamas,

Feeling kind of sad.... took DS in today for his 6mo visit and had a run-in over forced retraction. We chose this Ped because he was pro-intact and was amicable about our choice to delay/refuse vax. However, when I asked him not to retract DS, he said he wasn't- and then kept doing it to *show* me he was just looking. I could tell he was also really annoyed with us. Sigh. I don't know what to do. Should I look for a new Ped? Should I just start skipping the well-baby visits? Do I need to suck it up and tell him to keep his hands off unless there is a problem? I don't want it to be a stressed relationship and he already thinks we are a little strange/high maintenance Uggh. WWYD?

Does anyone really love their Ped and can say that he/she is on the same page about retraction (only if you are in the SLC/UT area)? Any thoughts about skipping the well baby visits?

TIA

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

I replied to your other thread but will reply here as well for any lurkers. You have the right to tell the ped what he can and cannot check. I had to make a hands off policy with the ped. practice I use. Before any exams happen I clearly state I do not want you touching my ds's penis at all. I do allow the hernia check but that is it and I stand right there and if I see hands moving toward ds I put my hand in the way and repeat no touching the penis. Even if there is a problem (ds had a bacterial infection once) I do not allow the Dr. to touch his penis. If he needs to see anything like under the penis (not foreskin) I move ds's penis while the ped stands with hands behind his back.

I have had eyes rolled at me but the risk to ds outweighs any discomfort to me. Just isnt worth ds being hurt.

[fawnanddoe]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I replied to your other thread but will reply here as well for any lurkers. You have the right to tell the ped what he can and cannot check. I had to make a hands off policy with the ped. practice I use. Before any exams happen I clearly state I do not want you touching my ds's penis at all. I do allow the hernia check but that is it and I stand right there and if I see hands moving toward ds I put my hand in the way and repeat no touching the penis. Even if there is a problem (ds had a bacterial infection once) I do not allow the Dr. to touch his penis. If he needs to see anything like under the penis (not foreskin) I move ds's penis while the ped stands with hands behind his back.

I have had eyes rolled at me but the risk to ds outweighs any discomfort to me. Just isnt worth ds being hurt.

I like this! I might instill a do not touch the penis rule. DH's mother babysat for maybe an hour once and she told me she didn't know what to do with an intact penis and tried to retract it but it wouldn't budge so she stopped. Thank god. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to understand that you are supposed to just leave it alone.

Anyway, if I were in your shoes I would probably look for a new ped. Clearly he wasn't listening to you, which he will probably do again.

[BaMo]

Originally Posted by MCatLvrMom2A&X

I replied to your other thread but will reply here as well for any lurkers. You have the right to tell the ped what he can and cannot check. I had to make a hands off policy with the ped. practice I use. Before any exams happen I clearly state I do not want you touching my ds's penis at all. I do allow the hernia check but that is it and I stand right there and if I see hands moving toward ds I put my hand in the way and repeat no touching the penis. Even if there is a problem (ds had a bacterial infection once) I do not allow the Dr. to touch his penis. If he needs to see anything like under the penis (not foreskin) I move ds's penis while the ped stands with hands behind his back.

I have had eyes rolled at me but the risk to ds outweighs any discomfort to me. Just isnt worth ds being hurt.

I think that this is a great policy to adapt. Sad that we have to act that way, but better than have a retraction.

[pagodafish]

MCatLvrMom2A&X, thanks for the reminder. It isn't really about the relationship with the Doc or my personal comfort with the situation. It's about keeping DS safe. I am rehearsing ways to discuss this with the Ped at the next visit. I really like the idea of keeping the diaper on. And yeah, they already roll their eyes at me, so what's one more thing....

Just out of curiosity, mamas with DD's: did/does the Ped ever check under their diapers during a well-baby visit? If so, what for?

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

The ped's actually checked dd under her diaper at ever visit though they usually kept their hands off. They where checking for labial adhesions and probably sexual abuse as well. Since they never touched her I let them look.

[A&A]

I replied to your other thread about a Kaysville ped I just love. I don't know if that's too far for you or not.