I am not enjoying this...

[Teddy'sMom]

Oh mamas...

DS2 is almost 9 months old and I am not enjoying being his mama. I feel like I am not meeting his needs and I feel horrible about it.

He is such a crappy sleeper and now daytime sleep is falling apart too! I can tell he is tired and I just feel like it is my job to solve this for him and I don't know how. I walk him and nurse him multiple times a night. He is often up for an hour or two because he gets in this like wired state and can not get to sleep even with my help.

He is completely dependent on a paci to get to sleep, but can not or maybe will not put it in himself. In fact he often resists taking it when I try to give it to him when he wakes up....however even with walking and nursing to calm him, he needs the paci to actually get to sleep.

I am tired and I feel like my abaility to mother both boys is suffering.

I am inches away from seeing what happens if I just let him cry. I don't want to, but I feel like his complete inability to get to sleep is harmful to him too...

[RiverSky]

[bodhitree]

OP, I feel the same way. My 8mo DD is such an awful sleeper. The past week, she's been insisting on comfort nursing for like four hours after we go to bed, then she will go into a deeper sleep after that but still wake very often. If I don't let her comfort nurse for hours, she screams. I've been trying NCSS, and for a while it was helping, but then we traveled for Thanksgiving and now it's shot all to hell. The past few nights I've been having to leave the room and let her cry in her dad's arms as he tries to comfort her. (We are NOT letting her CIO alone. There is always someone with her trying to comfort her and soothe her back to sleep, it just isn't always me.)

If I'm there, she just will NOT go into a deeper sleep. All she wants to do is nurse, and it's not because she's hungry. It's pure comfort nursing, she's not even swallowing after the first minute or two. I even took her to the doctor today to make sure there's no underlying illness that is causing this, and they couldn't find anything wrong.

So, OP, I'm sure this is not really helping you, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

[_betsy_]

DD1 = crappy sleeper. Since Day 1. Alert, awake, holding up her head and making eye contact moments after birth. She's 3 now. Smart as a whip, memory like a steel trap, well ahead on intellectual milestone stuff.

She's a joy and a delight, but she's a horrible sleeper.

Time helped. When she hit 18 months she was suddenly sleeping through the night, taking a good nap, and generally an easier kid. Not "easy" but easier.

I found the 2-3-4 idea worked well with her from about 9 months till about 15 months. 2 hours after waking for the day, she went down for her first nap, 3 hours after waking from that she went for her afternoon nap, 4 hours after that it was bedtime. Actually, she was more like 2.5-3.5-4.5 because she just seems to require less sleep than other kids.

Also, and I can't stress the importance of this enough, we got room darkening shades, and a white noise machine. I swaddled her arms down by her sides till she started resisting it at about 15 months. I nursed her in the dark room. I would rock her and sing the 4 songs she wanted to hear, in the same order, every day. It was what she needed to settle down and find her way to sleep. And she had to be totally asleep before I so much as THOUGHT about putting her down. In the grand scheme of things, the difficult sleep pattern period will boil down to being very short lived.

Trust me, I know it sucks. I WOH FT, nights, and am often short on sleep, drained, frustrated and on the verge of making DD2 CIO. But then I remember that if I lived through DD1's difficult sleep period, I can make it through this, too.

Both of my girls need lots of physical activity in order to get a good nap/night time sleep. And disruptions to regular daily life bother them for days, sometimes snowballing.

I'm reading Mary Sheedy Kucinich's "Sleepless in America" and it makes sense so far. You may want to check it out, too.

Remember that at 9 months, baby is teething, getting new foods, mobility is taking off, etc. All that makes for disrupted sleep.

[Abarat]

[gossamerwindweb]

[Teddy'sMom]

Thanks mamas! Last night was a bit better and I am trying not to get too worried about tonight before it even starts...

Betsy and bodhitree - thanks for telling me your stories. When I am up at night with him, it helps knowing other mamas are up doing the same thing. You ideas are helpful and I will definitely think about them. Betsy, I actually started reading Sleepless in America when DS1 was having a hard time sleeping and it stressed me out too much. The whole beginning was about how children need sleep so much and not letting them get it is so bad for them and there I was trying so hard to get DS1 the sleep he needed and having such a hard time doing it...I just didn't need a book to tell me that I should be doing something for my child that I was trying but unable to do. However, I should add that just like your DD1, my DS1 is now a MUCH better sleeper. Knowing that certainly helps me on tough nights with DS2.

Anyway, thanks again mams!!!

[Pookietooth]

Does he have food sensitivities that might make it harder to sleep? Or maybe reflux?

[tracymom1]

The only thing I can say is that this is temporary. They do grow up, and faster than we can imagine. As hard as it is, sometimes you just have to surrender to the situation and make your own peace with it.

DD is 5 months and has maybe taken a "real" nap oh, I'd say, twice, if that. Every day is a new sleep issue with her, but I am so sick and tired of stressing out over it. So I just try my very best to let it go and enjoy my time with her.

Good luck, mama, and you are not alone.