bored and exhausted - what do you do for fun?

[maryfreakinpoppins]

I have a question for you all - what do you do for fun? Like real fun that helps you feel relaxed, creative, inspired during and afterwards.

I have a seven year old daughter who I parent with her dad/ my ex who lives in another house. What is getting me down is not so much taking care of her, which I love and find rewarding and not that difficult, but the lack of time and money I have to do things that I find "fun".

Before parenting I used to socialize by going out to parties and bars with friends. I am practically the only one from my group of friends with a kid. So I never see these people anymore unless I get a babysitter so I can go to a party, which isn't worth it anymore because it wipes me out for a couple of days afterwards. So my definition of "fun" is changing.

I have a couple friends who have kids but it seems like - and everyone admits to this - all we can muster when we hang out (which happens about once every three moths) is complaining about how much we work and how crazy parenting is.

I am pretty broke right now so I feel guilty even spending money on renting a movie to enjoy with my child, with my boyfriend, or alone. I don't even really enjoy movies that much anymore because I just stress about how messy the house is or how much marking I have to do (I'm a high school teacher).

My current boyfriend and I are hoping to get married and have at least one kid in the next few years. But days like this I can't even imagine what that would be like. I feel so exhausted and bored by my life, and it is relatively easy compared to many other people's lives and to the life I might be living 10 years from now.

Any advice? Thoughts? Anything would be appreciated right now.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

No advice, but your name made me laugh.

I have the same problem. The bored feelings existed before DD was born, so I can't totally say its my current situation as a parent.

Usually a new computer game will engage me for a while, or a new hobby. I had fun making homemade Christmas cards with DD this morning. But the boredom always comes back!

[angelcollector1]

My kids are grown and my life is my own... I still have this problem. I'm not a party girl, and the club scene was never my thing. I enjoy going out to dinner with friends.. I don't have any desire to go to a movie, I can enjoy it myself at home much better. I wish I could give you some ideas.. I guess I'm here to get a few ideas.

[meemee]

another single mom coparent here.

what is going on with your life. how is work?

i have found boredom for me is not really boredom but a lack of inspiration and challenge in life. when i was just doing a job to pay bills and didnt really care for it, it was HORRIBLE. i was so bored and apathetic. nothing got me excited.

then i went back to school full time. i am inspired. i am intellectually challenged and on certain days i have great philosophical conversations with strangers, students or proffs. makes a HUGE difference.

today the wet gray day which would have made me stay in bed depressed, has me getting out and walking in the drizzle. i never thought i would ever grow to love gray days, but i do. i love walking driving in it.

however when my dd was born i just added her to my life. i didnt stop my life to adjust my life around her. i continued to go out with friends. just changed a little. instead of bands at alcoholic places we went to coffee shops and non alcoholic places. dd and i have been going out for dinner since seh was 4 months old.

there are a tonne of free events happening around town. we have art shows. the thing is i am a social person as well as a loner. i love going for walks by myself, movies, cafes, i love doing it alone too.

my biggest treat is a special bath with a $1 movie watched from the bathtub.

i rarely stay home.

dunno life is not boring for me. somedays all i can afford is a donot for dd or a child's hot chocolate.

[mommariffic]

I guess I'm one of those annoying people that doesn't get bored per say?

I love writing, so if I have time to write I do that. I love the thrill of getting published and writing essays and I had a brief stint trying [and failing] to pull together a mothers writing group. I also really am kind of the biggest book nerd on this planet, so if I have free time I'm reading, and I constantly have a book that I'm into.

What about the library? I know ours has this rental system and you can look up books, or movies that you want to see and they can borrow them from a library in the area if they don't currently have it. Might be a great, free way to have a movie night?

I guess besides writing and reading I go out to eat, or just..sit and watch movies or catch up on my television shows? I'm happy doing not much but staying cozy in my house.

Try looking at Meetup for groups in the area that have similar interests, or things you may want to try out.

[mckennasmomma]

Getting outside and playing hard. It totally nourishes my soul, and I also am the type that gets bored easily. Going out socially has never been my thing, unless it was a social hike/bike ride/run/etc.

If I can't get outside, exercising inside helps me too. The endorphine release goes a long ways towards feeling good and energized. Surprisingly, when you are feeling "exhausted" and exericise sounds too tiring, it actually gives you more energy.

[Just1More]

I find that I need to be accomplishing something as well. It's great to know deep down that I am raising a couple of little people to make their mark on the world, but sometimes I'm looking for a bit of instant gratification.

That said...

Volunteer. You can take your dd with you, and she will learn wonderful lessons. Find some cause that you can devote yourself to, and really plug in. It won't take anything but time, and there's always a way you can volunteer on your own terms (meaning with whatever resources you have.) Maybe you'd like to help get coats to kids this season, or maybe you'd be interested in working a soup kitchen. Maybe your passion isn't people and you'd like to help the dog shelter walk dogs or post fliers?

I find that having something else to talk about, some thing else big to do and be a part of, is wonderful, on many levels.