When does prodromal labor turn to real labor

[corrio]

Okay heres a bit of back info on me, my first birth I had prodromal labor and well went to the hospital and was told I wasn't in labour, 24 hours later my water broke and back to the hospital I went I was still 2 cms when I arrived. I had that baby 3 hours later. (Yes no one told me a first time labour could go that fast)

Second baby was a c-section for breech in early labour or the prodromal stage.

Third baby I refused to have another c-section hired a birth attendant and the only one who would attend me was a hour and a half away.. Had that wonderful prodromal labor on and off for 3 days. When I finally realized I was in labor called the attendant and well I had that baby a hour 15 minutes later. That baby died (and the autospy stated the baby had brain damage at least 3 days before birth)

Fourth baby I had prodromal labor for that whole 9 month, This was a planned hospital birth but I never did make it. I still don't know when I went into active labor. I had 2 very strange contractions back to back that made me wary of time and space, I was driving on the freeway at the time, I called my husband and told him I couldn't drive anymore and to come pick me up.. He told me to go to my parents house which was 15 minutes away, I went there and during that time I didn't have any contractions. I had a nice visit with my parents and my older children (my parents were watching them so i could go out for lunch with friends) I started to have prodromal contractions again not bad or anything.. My husband arrived about 30-45 minutes later. I had one very painful contraction that took me to almost tears ( I think it was finally the fear to going to the hospital where i really didn't want to go) I went to use the washroom before the car ride and well the the baby decided it wanted out now.. So there I had her.

My question is, I am pregnant again, and it goes back and forth in my head about how am I going to know when I am in labor? Maybe I am being silly but this is really holding me back on enjoying this pregnacy, I'm 14 weeks.

Any advice, words of wisedom, anything

[MsBlack]

You might want to plan a UC--unassisted childbirth!

Really. For most women in my experience, there is at some point a distinct difference between prodromal and 'real' labor (prodromal is real in that it does effect the cervix some....but it stops before birth occurs; 'real labor' is when it doesn't stop until baby comes). For most women, they get at least 1-3 hrs of that 'real labor' before baby....contrax are different. Stronger, maybe-- maybe longer, maybe there is more a sense of baby now shifting into place for birth (so, contrax might be felt more in the lower back, for instance, or more sharply in the cervix). Sounds like you are unusual in this respect, no clear distinction, it all melds together gradually.

Maybe best if you choose whatever care provider you most want--but also plan to be prepared for an unassisted birth so if it happens that way you are ready, and it needn't be a panic, you needn't necessarily call 911 or go to the hospital if baby ends up born at home.

Maybe check out the Unassisted Childbirth board here!

[lia_joy]

Maybe learning to self-check for dilation would help?

My fastest labor was about 3 hrs and I went from 4-5cm to pushing in 10min, but even if you go from a couple cm to pushing very quickly, I'd want Something to evaluate since it doesn't sound like you can rely heavily on how the contractions feel!

-Lia
(UC mom, not a birth professional)

[corrio]

I know with my last pregnancy I was 4 cms the whole last month, I went a week over her expected due date..

The only concern I have with planning a unassisted is my husband, after having a breathless child born he is still worried and scared that it will happen again..

I know with my bathroom birth I was like the baby is comming now and he went to dial 911 and there I was asking him if he really had to.. I had a bad experience with the ambulance attendents, I pushed that baby out in one push.. And she came out screaming.. I was lucky I was taken to the hospital only to leave 2 hours later.. I couldn't ask for it to be any better..

I don't know, I birth easy and really want to have some transition to prepair myself for the birth. I guess we always want what we can't have.

I was lucky last time I was in a safe place, I just think if I kept driving and drove to my house I would of had a freeway baby. Maybe thats what I am worried about.