Anyone have kids 5 or more years apart? - Page 3

[snguyen]

Originally Posted by Pookietooth

There may have been wet nurses or homemade formula though, especially if they were either poor (working moms go way back among the lower classes) or rich (read the old Mary Poppins series for a look at how the British upper middle classes handed off the newborn to the nanny immediately around 1900 or so).

I doubt there were either in my case, I don't think too many German and Swedish farmers (especially in MN farm country) had servants or formula, although I have heard stories of women my mother's age getting Karo syrup as formula as nursing rates declined with "modernization." From census info going back to 1865, the wives' occupations were always listed as "housewife" or "none." Actually it was more common for the women to start working outside their own home only as teenagers at the farm next door or as a housekeeper if they needed retirement-age income, with no more children at home. Again, I know this is just my little piece of all humanity I'm talking about, but I know my situation is not unique.

[maddycakes]

After what has been a month of seemingly endless reports of my friends who already have one child in the 2.5 yr old range telling me they are due w/#2, and me feeling completely inadequate (for lack of a better word) that I was not anywhere near ready for #2 yet (if at all), the posts on here have really made my day. I've always thought that *if* we have a second, I'd like him/her to be almost 5 yrs apart from DD (largely for the reasons people have stated). But among my peers, I seem to be in the vast minority with most having kids 2-3 yrs apart, or less. It was making me feel like I was doing something wrong by not being ready yet (I know I need to work on not worrying about what others are doing...but sometimes you can't help it!)

Anyway, not to hijack, just wanted to say thanks for everyone's input to the OP. It has changed my perception of what's beyond my worldview of what I thought was "normal".

[Holiztic]

Originally Posted by maddycakes

After what has been a month of seemingly endless reports of my friends who already have one child in the 2.5 yr old range telling me they are due w/#2, and me feeling completely inadequate (for lack of a better word) that I was not anywhere near ready for #2 yet (if at all), the posts on here have really made my day. I've always thought that *if* we have a second, I'd like him/her to be almost 5 yrs apart from DD (largely for the reasons people have stated). But among my peers, I seem to be in the vast minority with most having kids 2-3 yrs apart, or less. It was making me feel like I was doing something wrong by not being ready yet (I know I need to work on not worrying about what others are doing...but sometimes you can't help it!)

Anyway, not to hijack, just wanted to say thanks for everyone's input to the OP. It has changed my perception of what's beyond my worldview of what I thought was "normal".

My best friend and I met in birth class when we were pregnant with our firsts. When they were barely past 1 (14 months, I think) I was at her house and she said "I have news!" and I said (totally, 100% joking) "you're pregnant" and she said "well, yeah!" I was 100% (literally) joking because it didn't even seem possible to me. I was a bit rude in proceeding months treating her like she was doing something totally unimaginable (oopps! I do wish I'd been more sensitive!), but I really didn't even see how it was possible. I mean, I was nursing around the clock (every 2 hours at least), had no signs of menstruation, my son was just starting to talk, still in diapers, still waking all night. I was amazed that she was pregnant!


I am still so pleased imaging myself with a baby and a big boy. Seems so right to me! DS is not quite 3 and is very verbal, totally potty-trained (even at night), and acts in so many ways like a "big boy". I'm not sure if he'd be like that with a baby around this early.

The only thing I think about with the spacing is that I wish I'd been able to start earlier. When I mentioned the historical interbirth interval of 4-5 years, I neglected (what I assume to be) the historical age of first birth probably in the teens. I wish it would have been feasible for me to have kids at 20, 25, 30, 35. Instead, it's likely going to be 28, 32, 36. Yes, I'd like 4, but we'll have 3 at most, I think, due only in part to age.

[Mamato3wild ponnie]

I didnt read all the reply's, here's our family 15yo, 10yo, 5yp, 1yo. Would i do it that way again....NONONONOOOOOOOOO
Not one of them can play together, my 10yo and 5yo play sometimes, but not often. I liked it when they were babies cause one would go off to school while i was home with the baby. But my 5yo is still at home and the 1yo and him dont play at all. God gave me all my children when he knew i was ready, so i have to thank him. But if i could do it over, i would have them closer.

[mama2mygirl]

My girls are six years apart and I LOVE it. The baby is just a baby but they already play together. We homeschool so maybe that helps. And the first grader is a total help. I mean that she actually helps me watch the baby, feed the baby, change the baby, dress the baby...she's really, really reliable and in love with her sister.
One of my favorite moms has a sibling six years younger and another nine years younger. She is close to both and has wonderful memories of her mom nursing and cosleeping. She has tons of tips and I have no doubt dd1 will grow up to be a nursing mama. (She nurses her dolls at LLL meetings.)
It's also fun to have her around other moms with babies and toddlers. Again and again parents tell me how helpful she is.
And the baby adores her sister. She calls out, "YA YA. YA YA [her name for her sister]!" And just this week they started to play together in dd1's play kitchen.
It's just perfect for our family.

[Pookietooth]

I think 3 years is a good space, but we are stuck with nearly seven so we will make it work.
I am sure some women are fertile enough to get pregnant again soon, but it doesn't mean they should.
Farm women probably did breastfeed, but that doesn't mean that they breast fed excusively for a long period of time or delayed solids, and I do know of women who were breastfeeding full time and still got pregnant before one year.

[WaturMama]

I'm so glad to find this thread. I wanted 2.5 years apart, even had that pg, but it did not make it. Now we are looking at at least 5.5. It is so reassuring to hear all the positive stories. I really am glad that ds has gotten so much of our attention in these years.

[transylvania_mom]

my dc are 4 years and 7 mo apart and so far it has been great. No jealousy from ds, he loves his sister to pieces, I can barely stop him from kissing and hugging her all the time. I like the fact that he is able to get himself a glass of water or use the restroom without any help, when I'm busy with the baby. When I was pregnant and very sick, I could take a nap while he was playing or watching TV.

Now he attends kindergarten, which leaves me a little bit of time alone with the baby.

Having a larger gap worked great for us.

[Siennaflower]

Dd1 was 6 1/2 when dd2 came along and I love it. We didn't plan it this way, I was ready for another baby when dd1 was about 3 but dh was deployed twice in a row so it took a while. I'm pretty happy with the spacing though, very little jealousy and dd1 loves being helpful with dd2.

[Tumble Bumbles]

What a comforting thread. We are currently TTC and our child is a little over 4.5 now.