Can we talk about foster parenting here?

[DreamsInDigital]

I'm going to be getting my foster parent license so that I can take my adopted sister's biological niece. Her mother's a heroin addict, the child (we'll call her C, is almost 10 years old and lives with her 70-year-old great-grandmother. C's mother has signed away her parental rights. The family is trying to get my adopted sister to take C but she has a daughter, who is 8 and has ADHD. My sister cannot afford not to work and does not feel she can handle C, who has emotional problems and is developmentally delayed a bit, and her daughter with her ADHD. So I've decided to step in and take her. I can't see letting the foster care system ruin this child more than her mother has already.
I'm going to get a part-time job to help cover the cost of moving to a bigger apartment. The rent is about $300 a month more. I rotted in the foster care system for years before I got a good family. I don't see it's fair to let another child do the same. C is so much like I was back then. I think I can understand where she is coming from better than anyone else in the world. She suffered so much abuse at the hands of her mother, and her mother's boyfriends.
I will consider adopting her in the future, I just don't want to jump in with both feet just yet.
This is almost the hugest thing I've ever done, besides my own kids.
It's eaiser than giving birth, though.
Anyone else wanna talk about this?

[EFmom]

I haven't foster parented, but I think what you are doing sounds wonderful. It sounds to me like you are the ideal foster parent for this child as you will understand where she is coming from.

Wait until it's all over before you say it's easier than birth, though.

[AnnMarie]

You are doing a wonderful thing. Yes, it will be hard, but it sounds like you are just the right person for this little girl.

[mamawanabe]

Yes you do sound an ideal foster mother for her. But be careful of the identification (she is just like I was) becuase you might set the relationship up for a fall.

Good luck. Hope some foster parents chime in here.

[HotMama]

I wonder if you might find some kindred spirits in the spec. needs forum? I don't have any advice, just hugs and be sure to set yourself up a support system.

BTW - I bet if you pushed and prodded your social service office, you'd find some monetary support. They are saving big bucks having you take over care. Also, there is money out there to support families adopting children with special needs...that includes children adopted over the age of one. You go girl!

[sharqi]

my experiences with foster care have been frustrating to say the least, but i think my situation is different that yours. i found that the local dcfs was very much in need of a place to put a child & so will say about anything to get a foster parent to say yes. we had a hard time getting the caseworker or her supervisor to be honest about anything. it is very hard to make decisions when you have dishonest information.

i would recommend that you document all your contact with dcfs, just notes on paper with specifics. i know it might sound silly or hyper-defensive, but at times i felt like i was in a bad movie with the deception.

on a positive note, we have a 3-yo daughter we adopted some time ago! that was awesome!

[SingleDad]

I'm an adoptive foster parent to two incredible little boys, and although DFS is not the most friendly organizations, the benefits WAY outweigh the costs! If you would like to talk about it further, just let me know. I was a foster parent for 6 years in Kansas City, Missouri, and believe me, it doesn't get any worse than that.