Help Me Put My 12 Month Old on A Breastfeeding Schedule In The Least Traumatic Way Possible

[LilacMama]

My DD is 12 months old and almost exclusively breastfeeds or bottle-feeds (gets half pumped breast milk, half formula when I'm at work). She's not a huge fan of solid food. She just vastly prefers her milk. She likes to nurse off and on all day long. She probably latches on 50-60 times per day. I'm okay with this is theory only. In reality, it drives me insane.

I need to formulate and implement a plan within the next two weeks (somewhat arbitrary time I came up with to fix this "problem"). I realize that breastfeeding is healthy for her, so don't tell me that -- I know it. I just can't stand nursing her all day long anymore. I work full time and I'm tired and I'm done with this. I'm not ready to wean her entirely and I think (hope) she won't let herself starve if I nurse her less often.

I only want to nurse her 3 times a day. Morning, before nap, before bed. No more unless she is sick. Otherwise, I want to just offer her solid food or water throughout the day.

She is, obviously, EXTREMELY attached to her milk, both on a food level and a comfort level. She can throw a hell of a tantrum.

Anyone been there/done that? Advice so that I make the whole thing as easy as possible on her. I KNOW there will be a lot of screaming and tears.

[madeleines_mom]

I did this a month or two ago (I also have a 12 month old, born Dec 4th).

I am in a different situation because DD was a great solids eater at that age (she's pickier now) and didn't BF as often as your child is.

I just started offering more solids, one bottle a day, and only offered the breast before nap 1, before nap 2, before bed, and throughout the night if she wanted it (that's a whole other story... I really wish I could night wean her!), and first thing in the morning. Works out to be about every 5 hours, she's nursing.

I give her one bottle of homo milk at 4pm usually, though sometimes she doesn't seem to need it so I don't give it. I think your LO will start eating more solids if you offer less BM.

[alegna]

If she's not a big solid eater and you're not willing to nurse more than 3 times a day I would personally introduce a formula.

One year olds still need to nurse a great deal. If that is not possible, they need a substitute.

-Angela

[pbjmama]

I suggest starting out by stretching out the time between nursing sessions. After she has a good morning nurse get out of the house and keep busy. Then you can offer a yummy lunch with nursing before nap. I think going from nursing that many times a day to 2-3 times a day in 2 weeks may cause problems for you - plugged ducts and possibly infection. I understand your frustration and exhaustion. I also think formula needs to be considered if she doesn't pick up on the solids.

[Llyra]

I had some serious health problems when my twins were infants, and once they were past a year, I started to wean them so that I could take care of my own health. We weaned back to three times a day, and then twice a day. It wasn't easy. We started by replacing some of their usual nursing times with alternatives-- solids, or a sippy or bottle of formula. When they'd come to me for comfort nursing, I'd offer the paci or a bottle, and hold them in a different position from their nursing positions, so that the still had the comfort but weren't confused by being in a nursing position. They did some protesting, so we also relied on distraction a lot. We arranged to be out of the house a lot, and to have distracting and interesting house guests a lot, and then we went for the last big plunge-- letting go of the early morning nursing-- by going on vacation for a week with my in-laws. The different environment was full of distractions, so that it was easier to redirect them to other forms of comfort.

By 16 months, we were down to twice a day, and then DD2 had symptoms of reaction to the drug I was taking (we had thought we could space the doses around our new nursing schedule, but it didn't work) so we weaned completely. Giving up the bedtime nursing was the hardest one.

I do agree with Angela that a baby that age who's not eating much solid food probably should have formula, if you're going to significantly cut back on nursing.

[LilacMama]

Thanks for the responses. I hope that she will take to solid food if I give her a little time to be hungry. Obviously, if she doesn't, we would use formula.

[madeleines_mom]

Originally Posted by alegna

If she's not a big solid eater and you're not willing to nurse more than 3 times a day I would personally introduce a formula.

One year olds still need to nurse a great deal. If that is not possible, they need a substitute.

-Angela

This is not true... it is what formula companies would have you believe, but it is not what's true.

Your daughter is not an anomoly (if she was you'd know it by now from your doctor). She doesn't have anything wrong with her, she's perfectly capable of getting everything she needs from solids, breastmilk 3 times a day, and whole milk. Formula past one year is almost never necessary... the only reason I say "almost never" and not "never" is because I'm sure there are the few children with something wrong who can't eat solids for some reason, and also can't breastfeed, who would require formula past 1 y/o.

It's funny... in Canada I don't know anyone who gives babies formula past a year... it's a well known fact that babies don't need it and anyone who says otherwise has succumb to the advertising on the websites of some formula companies. However I know this is an American board and I've found it to be more common to give it past a year if the child is not BFing anymore.

Just start cutting some feedings, offer homo milk often, but offer solids more often. Offer a variety of different things. I find Madeleine goes through picky stages where she won't eat meat, veggies, or grains (so basically will only eat fruit) for a week or so. I still offer. And the out of the blue she'll start eating the other food groups again. You have to be creative though. If you give the same things everyday they get really borred and stop eating altogether (at least M does). Have fun with it, don't stress, and unless you want to prolong the solids issue and waste your money, DON'T offer formula!

[D_McG]

I think going from where you are to 3x/day is probably too big a jump. I would first start with (say) 5 scheduled feedings and then go from there.

When I did it with my son I just picked the times that I wanted to nurse and any requests/demands outside of those times were met with refusal/hugs/alternatives. I kept it light and positive b/c I knew we had no alternative (really, no alternative. We had gotten to a terrible point in our nursing relationship that was making life miserable and affecting how I felt about my beautiful little boy).

The first few times were rough he adapted quickly. He was loved and cared for. Truly cared for with more love than when we nursed a million times a day. Our relationship evolved into a much better thing for both of us.