Looking for some encouragement and advice

[Jahnavi]

First of all, I'm new to these forums, so hello!

I'm about 17 weeks pregnant and seriously considering having an unassisted delivery, but I need a little advice/encouragement.

The birth of my son was a little bit of a fiasco. I had planned a homebirth, but we thought I was going into labor a full month early (I'm convinced I got my dates wrong), so we rushed off to the hospital. By the time I got there, my contractions were about 45 seconds apart and I was 3cm and 80% effaced, and we discovered that I had mild pre-eclampsia as well.

All told, I was only in labor for a total of 3-4 hours, but I ended up in the hospital for almost a week. They tried to halt my labor at first, but the drugs wore off after about 24 hours. I had my baby a couple hours after that, and then they wanted to keep us there for observation for a couple of days. At the end of those two days, my son developed jaundice (not surprising given that he hadn't seen any natural light), and we ended up staying for another 3-4 days because he needed light therapy.

This time around, I'm even more determined to have the baby at home. I don't particularly want an unassisted pregnancy - I'm fine with having prenatal care. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind having a midwife attend the birth either, but I can't find any local home birth midwives.

So it looks like my only two options are to either have the baby at the hospital (attended by a nurse-midwife), or to have the baby at home, with just hubby and maybe a couple other friends/family members.

I am completely confident that I can deliver the baby on my own, but my husband is VERY uncomfortable with the idea. I suggested that his mother could attend the birth (she had her younger 3 at home and has helped out at several other births), and he seems mostly okay with that.. But then when I talked to his mom about it, she expressed that she didn't think it was a good idea, given my "history."

I'm really frustrated by this, because I don't really HAVE a "history." I had a really fast, easy labor that was complicated by not listening to my body. I don't think my son was premature. I had a perfectly healthy pregnancy, with no risk factors for or indications of preterm labor, and he was born well within the range of normal birthweight, strong, healthy, etc. So really the ONLY issue with my last pregnancy was mild pre-eclampsia at term. EVERYTHING else that made it a complicated ordeal was caused by being in the hospital in the first place.

So I guess I have to ask - am I being foolish for planning an unassisted childbirth after having had mild pre-eclampsia last time? I honestly don't see what the big deal is, especially if I have prenatal care and keep an eye on my blood pressure and everything.

I'm a little concerned because I know my husband doesn't like the idea - the only way I could get him to stop freaking out was by agreeing to have his mom there. But after her reaction, I don't know that I WANT her there. My line of thinking is that I just need another person there to keep hubby calm, but it seems like she'll be there looking for something to go wrong.

I want to have SOMEONE there with me, but at the same time, I don't want to feel like I have to hold THEIR hands through this and reassure THEM that everything is okay. I want to be able to relax and listen to my body and just go with it.

Please tell me that's okay? Any advice on how to help hubby come around would be appreciated too.

[PinkPantherDiva]

I don't have much advice for you. I don't think your crazy for wanting to have your baby at home with just you, and your hubby.
Everyone has suggested the book Emergency Childbirth for dads who aren't comfy with the idea right away.

I've had one hospital birth, one homebirth and this will be our first UC. You don't have to UP to UC. I think that's part of the beauty of UC. It's YOUR pregnancy and birth, you do it how you choose.

I hope you get the birth your hoping for and deserve mama!

[basje]

Concerns about preeclampsia are, I think, totally valid as it can cause serious complications for both the mother and baby that would be less than idea for a UC. BUT, preeclampsia is totally preventable, and your 17 weeks! So personally, if you're making proper changes now, there isn't any reason why it wouldn't be compleately reasonable to uc, and perfectly safe. If I was in your position I would get protien pee sticks of the internet if you UPing, and make some really serious commitments with your diet over the next few months. I would follow the Dr. Brewer Pregnancy Diet, (http://home.mindspring.com/~djsnjones/). Also water intake has a big affect on prevention so making sure you get that 8-10 glasses is key as well as completely avoiding caffeine (lot's of tea's have caffenie too, including green). I had no idea how much diet affects you're ability to prevent complications during labor until I started researching. Thankfully this means that you have have a huge affect on making the risks of complication less during labor by being pro-active during pregnancy.

I felt the same way about not wanting to have to re-assure anyone during my birth. I don't want to be emotionally invested in anyone elses experince buy my own. So that's why I've choosen to have a doula assist me, so I can get the support I need without having someone who will involve themselves in any medical way or be stressed about the birthing process. Maybe a doula isn't any option for you, but the support of another UC mama? Could it be that there is someone in your area who would be willing to support your UC and provide emotional support to your partner?

Good luck, I'm sure that you'll make a great choice!

[TzippityDoulah]

I had pre-e once and I wasn't much better the 2nd time. but this time I stayed on dandelion root and milk thistle supplements the entire pregnancy and I was perfectly fine!

anyhow regardless I think I would have to weigh my options. how sure Iw as I could read my body's signs. maybe have a some prental care etc. and perhaps a hosiptal in mind as a just incase you actually need medical help.

but yes in general there is no reason you can't have a UC with a pre-e history! you still have time to help DH get on board

[zoebird]

first, you have time to both get DH to 'come around' and also figure out who, if anyone, you want there with you.

so, i would likely start on the first. read birth stories and share them with your DH--"I read a UC birth story today that was awesome. . .." you'll likely be able to find birth stories that even match yours--"my first son was born in the hosp and i had mild pre-e, so going into this pregnancy and birth i. . .." the knowleget that other people do it and have done it and been safe and successful can help build confidence.

also, Emergency Childbirth is a good read and a good confidence builder. it makes everyone feel capable, particularly when you are talking about the fact that it may be so. that is, sometimes, people have babies before MWs arrive or before they make it to the hospital. so it's good to know what to do" just in case" and often you discover that you can do it alone.

second, it is absolutely right that you don't want to have to hand-hold when you are doing the work of your life. honestly, labor is no time to have to manage or baby or fight for or whatever else. people around you need to be supportive or outside.

so be mindful about whom you bring in (family or friends) and make sure that even if they aren't 'supportive,' they are on board with what you are doing and will not be involved or interfere in any way.

you have time, so no worries.

[redmach03]

I think thats understandable your DH being afraid of you getting pre-e again. I think its GREAT that you are starting to plan early on in your pregnancy and as Zoe stated have plenty of time to convert your hubby.

I don't think you are foolish at all! While there is always a chance that Pre-e could come back...you have the highest chance of getting it with first pregancies...the percentages go down with each pregnancy. That being said, since you had pre-e your chances are higher of getting it again. Maybe that doesn't make sense...*hits head on desk* Its not to say you'll definitely have it again but you are an increased risk for it because of your "history." Which I know is probably annoying to hear. I heard it too because I had PIH, pre-e with my first pregnancy. I planned a homebirth with my second and had routine care with a OB up until my 18w u/s and then I did total care with a homebirth mw...


My experience is with homebirth w/ a midwife but I think it could apply to your situation. I am also now 12w preggo again and planning a UC this time around.

My midwife didn't consider me "high-risk," she said "you are not high-risk until you are high-risk" but we monitored my urine and BP very closely. We also had a plan as to what would happen if my BP started climbing which was herbal things and diet and also bedrest. This last time I took a lot of care into what I ate and I followed Dr. Brewers diet. I ate high proteins and lots of vegetables and fruit and kept myself hydrated and kept up on my salt intake. I did not get pre-e this last time. My DH worried about it but he was pretty open to the homebirth I was planning. It took him about two weeks to come around. I showed him a LOT of research and we talked about everything. I promised him I would take care of myself and monitor my BP and if things were looking like my BP was getting out of hand and excessive swelling then I would go to the hospital asap! He was happy with that. I also was less stressed out last pregnancy and I totally attribute that as well as why my pregnancy was very healthy.

I really think when he saw how serious I was...and how much research and time I was putting into it he knew it wasn't just something that was a "fad" or a whim but that I was totally serious and that I really believed this was the best way for myself and my baby. We even read books together. He has read "the thinking womans guide to a better birth" "Ida May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth" and "the baby catcher" by peggy vincent. (which has wonderful homebirth stories btw) By then he was pretty prepared and my biggest advocate. This time I have even more for him to read...

As for your MIL, this is your birth and if you don't feel good about it now chances are you will definitely may not like the idea if you are really in labor and she is there. You need someone there who is going to support you on whatever decision you make regarding your body, pregnancy and birth. With time, your DH may come around to the idea, give him some time to process the information and talk about everything on your minds. Make sure you tell him you will have a back up plan for the pre-e/high BP if it comes up. I told my DH at first that it may happen, it may not...there is no way of knowing but I wasn't going to let that fear get in the way of birthing the way I wanted. I also showed him lots of homebirth videos and stories and I really think it helped because he saw how calm and relaxed and intimate things were and inside he really wanted that. In fact when my homebirth became a hospital transfer he cried...I never really knew until that moment that he wanted it just as much as me. AND this is coming from a man who first said when I brought up the subject of homebirth...."you want to do WHAT? Are you crazy?!'

I really think I wrote a book here...I rambled, I'm sorry but I hope it helps you!

[Jahnavi]

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I'm feeling better already. It's good to know that not EVERYONE in the world thinks I'm completely nuts.

I do know that I need to be careful about pre-e and that I'm at higher risk because I had it last time - that's the main reason I've decided to get professional prenatal care.

I guess the most frustrating thing for me is that last time around, I had routine prenatal care from my midwife, and they took my blood pressure and had me pee on a test stick at every single appointment, and everything came back completely normal until I went into labor. I'm kind of afraid of that happening again, but then at the same time, I wonder if it would be anything to worry about if it were really mild, and since giving birth is basically the cure for pre-e anyway. Does that make sense? I wonder, if we hadn't thought I was early and the midwife had come over to deliver the baby, would she have sent me to the hospital for mild pre-e, or would she have just delivered the baby since I was progressing so quickly?

At any rate, I'll definitely be looking up birth stories, and I actually own Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from my last pregnancy. It's SO HARD to get hubby to read anything, though! It's really frustrating. I tried to get him to read some things from Ina May's book last pregnancy, and he just never did it. I guess I'll just have to keep on him about it. I'm looking up Emergency Childbirth on Amazon.com and I'm seeing several different books/versions with that title. Which one am I looking for?

Thanks again.

Oh! Another thing.. I've been looking into the Brewer diet a bit, and after coming up with with several daily menu ideas, I'm looking at it, and it just seems like SO MUCH FOOD. How on earth am I supposed to eat all that?? I mean, I thought I was a big eater (and I've got the pudge to show for it!), but this looks intimidating.

[Rejoicing]

Try to give you MIL some grace...she might have been suffering from diarrhea of the mouth at that moment! LOL! You won't her there if you are not 100 percent comfortable with her being there, but you still have plenty of time to decide. Spend some time with her and with the idea...see how it goes. Otherwise UC is not a crazy decision! It is becoming more and more mainstream everday! Our bodies were designed for this!

Oh! and the emergency childbirth book is available somewhere out there as a free pdf download...sorry I don't have he exact url right now but if you google "emergency childbirth PDF" it should come up. Just remember to consult many sources. They all differ some! That could be frustrating at first, but then you get to see a wide variety of ways to handle situations. The bradley method book was our very favorite! I love Ina May's books, but I tend to be a bit more "hands off" FWIW...

[tessie]

Originally Posted by basje

preeclampsia is totally preventable,

No it isn't.

[redmach03]

Originally Posted by Jahnavi

Thank you so much for the encouragement! I'm feeling better already. It's good to know that not EVERYONE in the world thinks I'm completely nuts.

I totally understand you there....I'm going through a sad phase where I feel alone because everyone thinks I'm crazy because I hate my OB and I want to have my birth at home. You are not alone there are "crazy" people just like you going through the same thing!!

I do know that I need to be careful about pre-e and that I'm at higher risk because I had it last time - that's the main reason I've decided to get professional prenatal care.

I guess the most frustrating thing for me is that last time around, I had routine prenatal care from my midwife, and they took my blood pressure and had me pee on a test stick at every single appointment, and everything came back completely normal until I went into labor. I'm kind of afraid of that happening again, but then at the same time, I wonder if it would be anything to worry about if it were really mild, and since giving birth is basically the cure for pre-e anyway. Does that make sense? I wonder, if we hadn't thought I was early and the midwife had come over to deliver the baby, would she have sent me to the hospital for mild pre-e, or would she have just delivered the baby since I was progressing so quickly?

I know I discussed this a lot with my midwife. She didn't seemed to be concerned if it were mild meaning that BP was elevated but not high enough to what she considered dangerous. That if we went down that road we would "TRY" to do alternative things first before going to the hospital... If it were mild and this is just IMO I wouldn't think it would be too much to worry about if your BP's are not really high and going out of control...and the protein in your urine is mild. If something like that were to come up with me I'd probably monitor myself very closely and frequently. BTW birth doesn't always cure Pre-e..sometimes it can stay with you after birth. My Pre-E was bad so maybe thats why it lingered but after I got out of the hospital I had to be admitted again and on mag for 10 days...it sucked!!

At any rate, I'll definitely be looking up birth stories, and I actually own Ina May's Guide to Childbirth from my last pregnancy. It's SO HARD to get hubby to read anything, though! It's really frustrating. I tried to get him to read some things from Ina May's book last pregnancy, and he just never did it. I guess I'll just have to keep on him about it. I'm looking up Emergency Childbirth on Amazon.com and I'm seeing several different books/versions with that title. Which one am I looking for?

I told my DH that it was REALLY REALLY important to me for him to read the books and that it would prepare him for a homebirth...especially reading the birth stories. Once he started reading he didn't stop, so I think he really enjoyed reading them and it was fun to discuss the books and talk about the stories after we both had read them.

Thanks again.

Oh! Another thing.. I've been looking into the Brewer diet a bit, and after coming up with with several daily menu ideas, I'm looking at it, and it just seems like SO MUCH FOOD. How on earth am I supposed to eat all that?? I mean, I thought I was a big eater (and I've got the pudge to show for it!), but this looks intimidating.

I know, it seems like a lot but really its not because you end up drinking several glasses of milk a day that counts as your serving of protein...a piece of cheese...yogurt...its quite a bit of dairy...or beans and your veggies...I got to where I was eating 6 times a day and it really helped me not ever feel hungry. It got easier as time went on.

[Sijae]

I'm not convinced you ever actually had any problems. First of all I'm wondering how many weeks pregnant you were when you went into labor. Do you mean it was a month early at 36 weeks or a month early from the "safe" threshold of birth which would be 33 weeks? If you were 36 weeks it was probably unnecessary try to stop the labor. While most babies stay in longer, it can be fine to have a baby around 36 weeks.

Also I wonder how you were diagnosed with pre-e. While pre-e is a very dangerous situation, you don't usually discover pre-e from going to the hospital for an unrelated reason. There are usually clear symptoms of toxemia and if you were in the mild beginning stages at 36 weeks and in labor it would have been a non-issue. If you were diagnosed based solely on high blood pressure and/or protein in your urine you may not have had pre-e at all. True toxemia can only be diagnosed through blood tests.

We don't even routinely do urine dips in our practice because it's not evidence based and hasn't been shown to improve outcomes. If we decide we need to know what's happening with the urine we do a 24 hour urine collection to be tested in the lab.

It is completely normal for a baby to get jaundiced around 3 days old. Do you know how high the level was? (normal levels vary widely by the baby's age in hours and are considerably impacted by race) You might want to do more research on what safe levels of bilirubin really are and decide if your baby really needed to be under lights.

As for your diet, while other factors can influence liver health (and therefore non-nutrition related factors can lead to toxemia) nutrition is one of the only things that has ever been proven to improve pregnancy outcomes.

What you need to focus on is a well-expanded blood volume. The main protein in blood plasma is albumin which can only be synthesized by the liver from dietary protein, when you are eating decent amounts of protein and enough calories, coupled with enough water and generous salt intake you can expect your blood volume to increase nicely. I don't personally think that it's necessary to eat as much protein as brewer recommends. When your body is getting enough calories for your energy consumption (activity level, weight, pregnancy, stress), it utilizes the protein in your diet very efficiently. If you focus on eating something with protein (a bagel with cream cheese or a handful of nuts for instance) every 2-3 hours you should be getting enough. Personally I think 60g is quite adequate unless you are starting late and trying to rapidly make up for a deficiency. Just make sure that you focus on adequate calories as well as protein or your body will use up protein for energy.

At this point your blood volume is rising. The plasma increases faster than red blood cells and peaks around 28 weeks. You should start to see a dip in your hemoglobin. After 28 weeks your red blood cells start to catch up and by term you're usually back on track with your hemoglobin at or a little below what you started with. If you've had any blood work this pregnancy or get some now, you could have your hemoglobin tested closer to 28 weeks and be reassured that you have a well-expanded blood volume if you see that dip. A well expanded blood volume coupled with decent nutrition should reassure you that pre-e wont be an issue for you. Just remember that how you feel is the best indicator of your health :-)

I don't think it's crazy to plan an unassisted birth at all. I wouldn't plan to have the mother there though. People who doubt your ability to birth tend to mess up UC's. If you could find a supportive midwife who would be on-call for questions or for issues in the birth that might be able to be solved at home with an experienced hand, that would be ideal in my mind. But if that's not possible, it would be my choice to stay at home to UC anyway.

I had 2 midwife-attended homebirths and then a UC with just my husband there. My labor and birth with the UC were by far the best but I had a small issue that could have easily been dealt with at home post-partum that led me to spending an hour in hospital later in the day after the birth which is why I tend to think having someone on all could be great. I also see UC-turned-hospital birth stories in which the issue they transferred for was not truly an emergency or could have been dealt with at home with a midwife. So while I think UC is a very valid choice, It's nice to have a back-up but only from someone you can trust. A scared back-up is not a good back-up!

Hope this helps,

[Jahnavi]

Sijae: Thank you so much for all of that information! And thank you for kind of affirming what I've kind of suspected all along.

I was just shy of 36 weeks (according to LMP) when I went into labor, and basically they said I had pre-e because my blood pressure was elevated (I kind of wonder if that could have been partly due to them using the wrong size cuff. I don't remember what size they used, but I'm pretty sure I'd need a large especially since I was retaining water at that time) and I had protein in my urine, along with some edema that had started a few weeks before. They did do a 24 hour urine collection, and apparently it was mild enough because they were talking about sending me home and having me come back in a few days to have the baby, until the drugs they used to halt my labor stopped working.

As for the jaundice, I think the bilirubin peaked at around 17, but I don't recall exactly. Which is really frustrating in retrospect, because from what I've read, those levels don't usually require treatment given that he was already a few days old. I think they were more concerned about it because he was a "preemie," but I don't think he was really a preemie either, for several reasons.

I'm fairly certain I was actually pregnant a full cycle before I thought I was. I had a really light "period", but didn't test, and then I tested a couple of days before I was expecting my next period, and the test came back a SUPER dark positive - the test line was darker than the control line, which makes me think my hcg levels were quite a bit too high for me to have conceived just barely two weeks before. Add to that the fact that I started feeling the baby move at what I thought was 14 weeks, which isn't unheard of, but very uncommon for first pregnancies (I'm 17 weeks now and haven't felt this baby move yet). And then the fact that I went into labor spontaneously without any indications that I was at risk for preterm labor, the fact that they said my placenta looked to be about 40 weeks (which they attributed to pre-e), and the fact that my son was born 6 lbs 7 oz, which is totally normal - my brothers and I were all around the 7 lb range at birth. And then of course the fact that he has had absolutely NO problems or delays - he's been "ahead" on reaching every single milestone so far.

So, needless to say, it's been really frustrating for me to look back and realize that 1. My labor probably wasn't preterm, and even if it was, it wasn't dangerously so, 2. That my pre-e (if I even had it) was mild enough that they would have sent me home if I hadn't kept going back into labor, and 3. That my son's jaundice was probably completely normal and would have resolved on its own with a little sunlight. So I literally had a week-long hospital stay for NOTHING. I could have given birth at home, and everything would have been FINE.

And to top it all off, when it came time that I felt like I had to push, the nurse insisted on checking me and told me I was only 6 cm. I don't know why I believed her, but I ended up holding the baby in for over an hour, while I was fully dilated and my body was trying to push the baby out, because the nurses had me convinced that if I didn't resist the urge to push, I would injure myself. That was the only part of labor that hurt, and it hurt like HELL. I actually laid down on my back to help keep the baby in. I wish I hadn't. If I'd stayed kneeling/squatting, the baby probably would have just fallen out of me. And then when the baby was finally delivered (took all of 2-3 pushes), they hooked me up to pitocin to help deliver the placenta, and the doctor actually pulled on the cord!

At the time, the experience really didn't seem so bad. They were actually surprisingly accomodating of my desire for a natural birth experience, given that I just kind of showed up at 4 in the morning without having ever even met the doctor. I was really lucky to have had the experience I did seeing as I didn't have any sort of birth plan written up. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that they really DIDN'T respect my wishes. They honored my request to not be offered drugs, to labor in different positions, etc., but they still treated me like I didn't know what I was doing and like my body was defective.

I really really really don't want to have this baby in the hospital! Especially since THAT experience was in a REALLY progressive hospital in Western Washington - where midwifery and natural childbirth are pretty normal. Now I'm stuck in Pocatello, Idaho, which is about as NOT progressive as it gets. I'm terrified that if I cave and end up going to the hospital to make hubby or his mom feel better, I'll end up with one of those horror stories you hear all too often.

I am being careful about my diet. I've never been one to really limit my intake of anything, and I do eat mostly whole foods, homemade, from scratch, etc. I have a pretty healthy diet, except maybe for my tendency to eat a lot. I am mostly a vegetarian though, and I know that I could stand to have more protein in my diet - especially in pregnancy (normally I'll eat chicken/turkey, but for some reason I can't stomach it most of the time when I'm pregnant). So I'll be working on that. I guess I should stock up on high-protein snacks.

Thank you again! It's nice to hear someone else echo all of the things that have been going through my mind regarding all of my previous "complications." I've tried to tell MIL that all of my "complications" were probably just misdiagnoses or miscalculations, but she doesn't seem to believe me. It's really frustrating, because like I said, she had home births, and I know she trusts HER body, and if SHE had been in my position, she would be saying the same thing I did! So I don't know about having her at the birth. I think it will depend a lot on how her attitude changes (or doesn't) over the next 20 weeks or so. I can see her being an AWESOME person to have there, because she's been there done that, and I know that under normal circumstances, she'd probably just be really hands-off and supportive. But I get the feeling that right now she thinks I'm being irresponsible, and she's expecting me to have more complications with this labor. I guess we'll see.

I've told my husband I'm going to keep looking for a midwife to attend the birth and that I'll have his mom there, etc., but honestly right now I'm seriously considering just not TELLING him when I go into labor. I'll go take a bath or something. Maybe by the time it becomes obvious that I'm in labor the baby will be close behind, and there won't be time for him to worry or panic or call his mom. :P

[TzippityDoulah]

I too would question the pre-e. how was it confirmed? sometimes it's a word loosely thrown around as in "my this mom has high blood pressure, we better induce b/c of risk of pre-e". and then "pre-e" is assumed by all and everyone starts in like it's acually pre-e.

did you have any symptoms? and/or did they run any liver tests?

if you do have a liver that likes to act up, pre-e is not 100% preventable.... but I'd say more like 95%. you can take liver supplements (dandelion root, milk thistle etc...) during and right after pregnancy (or before, as a detox if you are thinking of getting pregnanct). food doesn't cause pre-e, but a wimpy liver can. and bad food can cause wimpy livers if that makes sense, so eating well if very important. the dandelion root help your body to digest foods and keep your liver working well. I am 8mos PP and i sitll take it b/c my liver is just a big old wimp after 3 pregnancies. I'm working on building it up though.

other things are related to Pre-e : liver cholostasis, jaundice, gallbladder problems... the liver actually really has a BIG job to do during pregnancy! and the way we modernly eat isn't very good for supporting both a mother's body and a baby's growing body during pregnancy.

this was the first pregnancy I ever had with out cholostasis, or jaundice! it was amazing! I never got even close to any pre-e/toxemia symptoms. it was fabulous! I had ot be careful about what I ate b/c my BP wanted to go up, and I actually would start to turn a bit yellow (jaundice) near the end if I went without the dandelion root.

I wish I didn't have ot take anything. but really? I'd take that any day over having a baby too early and risk seizures and other horrible things that ceom from Pre-e.

I wish I could give you one link to the best info out there... but really I just spent countless hours while pregnant going through trying to better understand liver function and what I could take ot help it. it was my hot topic for quite a while!

[TzippityDoulah]

you're righ to up your protein. chicken, beef, fish, cod liver oil, eggs... though b/c carful with the egs if you have liver problems b/c even thoug they are mega healthy - they are hard on the liver if it's sluggish!

beans are good too. and coconut oil/butter/milk etc...

[Jahnavi]

Originally Posted by HennyPenny

I too would question the pre-e. how was it confirmed? sometimes it's a word loosely thrown around as in "my this mom has high blood pressure, we better induce b/c of risk of pre-e". and then "pre-e" is assumed by all and everyone starts in like it's acually pre-e.

did you have any symptoms? and/or did they run any liver tests?

The only outward symptom I had was edema. Aside from being a little puffy, I felt fine. As far as I recall, the only tests they did were blood pressure and the 24 hour urine collection. I know they took some blood to test for something as well, but they said that came back normal.

Aside from being a little overweight, I've never had any health problems at all. I'm really pretty healthy.

While I was in the hospital, there was a little part of me that wondered if their diagnosis was right, because they kept asking me if I had headaches, blurred vision, kept checking my reflexes even though they were normal, etc. I guess it seemed like they were grasping for something to confirm their diagnosis. But I was too tired and stressed to really question it.

One thing I've wondered about the blood pressure readings is if my water retention caused them to be artificially high. My unswollen arm is already within the large cuff size range, and it would have been bigger when I got to the hospital. I started peeing like crazy and lost the extra water over the course of the few days I was at the hospital, during which time my blood pressure readings also declined steadily, back down to normal. I can't help but wonder if the readings went down because my arm was getting smaller. But even if I did have high blood pressure, it obviously wasn't THAT high, because like I said, they were going to send me home!

This is all so frustrating in retrospect.

The GOOD news, though, is that I was telling my hubby about all of this.. he agrees that our son wasn't premature, and when I told him my suspicions about my pre-e and about the jaundice, and how our hospital stay wasn't really necessary, he seemed to warm up to the idea of having an unassisted birth. I also told him about my concerns about having his mom there, and he actually seemed understanding! AND he said he'd read Emergency Childbirth and some other things I've been digging up for him. He's also probably going to be my Protein Police, because I told him I didn't think I was getting enough, and that that can contribute to the risk of getting pre-e. :P

[zoebird]

i think it sounds great and it is nice that he is reading.

i found, early on, that just *telling* him made it easier. he didn't retain everything, but it did help him work through his stuff. every tiem i would learn something on here or read a cool birth story, when he would say "what did you do today?" i would go "oh, i read this AWESOME birth story!" and then tell him about it.

it boosted his confidence.

also, it is a good idea for you to learn the signs of pre-e so you can self diagnose and get help if you need it.

[TzippityDoulah]

well high BP is a symptom of pre-e but it isn't pre-e. so they would have needed to do a liver test (blood test) to check it for sure. high BP can be very dangerous is not managed - and it depends on what is causing it. women do often have slightly high BP but I mean duh - they are carrying around an extra load which is squishing all of their internal organs lol. it's gonna raise some. that said, it should be raising abnormally high.

you can request your medical forms. sometimes they give you the run around, but they are required to give it to you. this might clear up some issues. it would be good to know for sure if you actually had Pre-E, concern of Pre-E, or high BP or... whatever.

[TzippityDoulah]

www.preeclampsia.org

some helpful info there. but I would also look elsewhere for more natural take on it and it's treatments.

[Anna Bella]

My advice comes from personal experience of trying for a UC but ending up in hospital. I think UC is fantastic and I will probably try it again next time. It is great to have faith in your own ability to give birth naturally, without interference but I think there is such a thing as over-confidence as well.
You can't force your birth experience to go the way you want with the sheer force of will. You have to really get in touch with your own intuition so you can be open to the present moment rather than trying to force things and people to be the way you want them. I think you have to be open to possibilities, have back-up options, be gentle and considerate with the people you might need help from - your partner, friends, family, midwives etc. Put in plenty of work to get yourself in the best possible health, including a really good diet, exercise, relaxation and emotional or spiritual matters.
I would say don't have anyone there who doesn't fully support you in what you're doing. Other people's anxiety will just make you tense and closed up. Good luck.

[Missie]

Sometimes the only way to convince hubby is simply to have him catch. I had 3, the third being at home UC and by the time I was pregnant the fourth time, he was still jumpy, until he caught the twins, as he puts it (I caught the first one, and the second didn't wait long enough for me to have my hands free, but she was ok and just slid out on a blanket). He bragged about it, and still does. When I had the most recent one, he was perfectly fine with the idea from the beginning (I did pretty much tell him he didn't have a choice lol).

I do have links for you to show your hubby. (Print them out and read them to him if he won't sit and read them)

http://unassistedhomebirth.com/fathe...ntfathers.html

http://midwiferytoday.com/articles/notetofathers.asp

http://naturalpapa.com/natural-paren...ering-and-you/

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/0...-baby/?apage=2

also, find out exactly what he is scared of and go searching for birth stories about how those situations have been dealt with. And don't just stick to one kind of story, UC with good endings, look to all types of stories with all types of endings, it is the only way to be truly informed.

As for jaundice, I just went through that with my youngest. Right after the doctors freaking about border high in a baby that had all cord blood (we did lotus) anything over 20 is considered high in my region, and I found a study that stated premature babies have a reason for being jaundiced, it helps them. I will see if I can relocate the information for all.