Weekly chat thread Dec 14th- Dec 20

[Snapdragon]

Weekly chat

[NicoleS]

One week closer...planning a major stocking trip at the grocery today.

[flavorfull1]

I cannot believe I have seven weeks to go! It really feels like I was just excited about being seven weeks! I am starting to really feel like the baby is bigger. Lots of stretching and rolling with not as many kicks as before, he is still active, just a little more squished. Now that I am out of school, I am needing to make a list for my baby shower. Instead of a registry I am making a list of things that we really need and putting on it where people can find it. I know this is a little presumptive and we will also have the option of a giftcard if people don't want to go to the hassle. It is exciting to finally get some time to get baby stuff together. However, the holidays sure do creep up on you! I have a little more than a week to make everyone's presents! I will be busy busy busy but it sure beats studying! Hope everyone is doing well, I sure missed these posts the past couple of weeks!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Holidays sure do creep up! Oh boy I just saw a friend post that there's 11 days to go until Christmas! Eeek!!!

I am trying to pretend I'm not pregnant for a couple more weeks to get through the holiday stuff, and then it's major nesting, man.

Suddenly this morning I freaked out about the fact that I'm going to be delivering a baby soon. I'm not sure why - I've done it before, it was a good delivery, no reason to be freaked. So why am I?

[NicoleS]

I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...

[biennourri]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...

Totally. I'm nervous and also excited not to be as stressed out by every little thing as the first time. I don't know what we'll do if #2 also is colicky. We have friends who have had their second colicky baby recently. It sort of burst my bubble. I was thinking: how likely is it you could have 2 like that?
At least now I really have absorbed the fact that it was not my fault and that babies DO cry and sometimes there isn't much you can do except try to be there for them. In retrospect I was PPD and this time I think I'll be able to recognize it sooner. Silver linings. Silver linings. Also, just knowing how FANTASTIC they are and how much we will love these babies! I can't wait to meet this little person- I'm getting really excited.

DD's Christmas presents from our natural toy store arrived today. I got her an Ostheimer baby and crib to go with her Ostheimer family as well as some other small wooden toys. My mother also sent the Grinch and Charlie Brown's Christmas DVD's- all came today (I allow DD a DVD session while I make dinner- she knows she gets some TV and there is a limit and no commercial breaks- it's the best I could do while I still have control ) . We still haven't decided what we're making for our special dinner, but at least DH already made his pudding and talked to the butcher about our options. I was feeling guilty I didn't buy her a talking Iggle Piggle doll after she went to a party this weekend and saw another kid's. My mom said: "it sounds like someone needs and Iggle Piggle." and I said she didn't, esp. since we'd already bought her gifts. I feel less guilty today when she said with the same conviction that she "loved" a water bottle and kissed it.

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

I think I freak out somewhat because I know how difficult it is with a newborn - it's not all cuddles and baby snuggles if you KWIM...

I'm not sure I've even got THAT far! It's just the L&D I'm thinking about...

It's ridiculous really. It took 3 IVF tries to get pg, and I've BEEN pg for 31 weeks. Suddenly I'm thinking "woah - I'm going to have a baby". You'd think I'd have got that internalized by now!

[TexasMum]

When I was getting ready to start pushing with my second baby, I started crying about how scared I was. The nurse was like "it's ok, why are you crying? You have done this before." I was just like I don't know I'm just scared. I don't think the fear of L&D ever goes away. I'm gonna be scared to death with this one too.

[NicoleS]

I am really getting frustrated with some "lactavists" on another one of my forums today. No offense to anyone who considers themselves a "lactavist" - but so many of the ones I've run across online seem to be of the mindset that every woman can BF and those that don't either gave up too easily, didn't try hard enough, or are too stupid to realize how much better BFing is than FFing.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.

[Lauren31]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.

I can understand that... I am actually SO nervous I won't be able to breast feed at all. No reason that I feel this way it is just something I want to do SO badly that it scares the bejesus out of me that it won't happen...

A lot of my friends aim for 6 months and a lot of them stop then bc the baby stops nighttime feeding which dwindles there supply. I think if you do what you can that is the best you can do.

[Zevy]

I'm all for bf'ing, but also understand that for some women it is really difficult. I even knew a woman whose milk actually never came in. No colostrum either. The docs didn't believe her and her daughter almost died of dehydration.

I don't celebrate Christmas, but I couldn't believe it when my husband said it was next week. Where is the time going?

I worry about bringing the girls home...my son was a VERY VERY easy baby. Never spit up, no problems bf'ing, no problems going from bottle to breast and back, slept through the night at 14 weeks, no colic, no issues with solid food when we got that far... I"m totally screwed now. Ha. I don't even know what a more 'typical' baby looks like, never mind preemies who tend to be more difficult on average anyway...

Still going to the hospital daily to visit the girls. They are doing quite well: Tzelia is completely off IV nutrition and is only getting fortified breast milk. Meorah is off the CPAP again and we'll see how she does.

I am dealing with horrible horrible edema. My feet actually hurt they are so swollen. my husband looked at them yesterday and made me go put on some compression stockings. My c-section recovery is taking much longer this time, probably because I'm more active than I was after my son...for him, I just sat on the couch all day and breastfed. Now I'm running back and forth to the hospital, making sure I pump every 2-3 hours, barely sleeping to be sure I can pump...oy.

[flavorfull1]

Hugs NicoleS, do realize that even just 6 weeks of breast milk for your baby will provide life long benefits, you should be proud of getting to six months with all of your effort! Like I am literally in awe of all of the women who try soooo hard against such huge obstacles! I guess I would consider myself a lactavist but not if it means I have to be discouraging to women who have tried so hard. It comes down to a choice for some and for others there is no choice. Guess I am just saying that sucks and don't let them get you down!
Zevy, awesome that your babes are making so much progress, I hope the edema goes away soon, that sounds painful!

[OlyR]

I know what you mean about people that take things too far. I really hope I can breastfeed, and I plan to do everything to ensure it works out. But I still know that it doesn't work for everyone and I would never judge someone that is making the best, informed choice for their family in addition to those that just physically CAN'T....

heading towards 30 weeks! I still can't get over the fact that I have to go to appts. every 2 weeks. It feels like I was just there!

I can really tell I'm slowing down physically. My MIL came to vist this past weekend and I had to clean up in preparation and it seriously took me forever and I huffed and puffed up and down the stairs to the basement. She was actually really helpful, she cleaned my floors and dusted everything. We are having a holiday party this Thursday with about 25 friends over. It seemed like a good idea 4 weeks ago when we sent out the invites, but it was seriously starting to stress me out, but my MIL's help makes me feel a lot better about it.

All that said.... it's still really stressful to have another person living in "our" house and I really don't know how I'm going to handle her visit after the baby is born. She was really presuring us to come up with a time for her to visit and I said at least 2 weeks after the birth (if she had her way she would come as soon as the baby is born, if not before so she can be there for the birth). I hope this works out.

She also let us select our own gifts and I picked out an ergo - the local shop had the new grey one with the stars. I love it!

[biennourri]

[All that said.... it's still really stressful to have another person living in "our" house and I really don't know how I'm going to handle her visit after the baby is born. She was really presuring us to come up with a time for her to visit and I said at least 2 weeks after the birth (if she had her way she would come as soon as the baby is born, if not before so she can be there for the birth). I hope this works out.![/QUOTE]

If she is a reasonably helpful person, I think this is a good plan. I'm really sad we won't have the help this time around. My parents will come over and that will be great. Last time I could barely wait for them to come. My sister was a great help and I wish she were coming now. Even the in-laws, who aren't the most helpful, helped in their small ways and I was glad for it. They don't plan on coming this time. I guess with us being so far away and all. It sounds like it will be good for your helpful MIL to come help.

[rajahkat]

Well, I can honestly say that even with this being #5, I'm still nervous about labor & birth. You just never know what's going to happen.

Needy newborns I can do. My first was a total handful, vomited ALL THE TIME. Not little bouts of spitting up but practically projectile vomiting after every feeding. And he just wouldn't sleep & (really, I could go on and on) The next three were so surprisingly easy after him. But I always think, okay, this one may be like the first, prepare yourself!

My MIL comes tonight, the house is almost spotless, and I'm burning a lovely smelling candle that my eldest gave me as an early Christmas present. So, I'm feeling much less grumpy than I was last night.

Kat

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by TexasMum

When I was getting ready to start pushing with my second baby, I started crying about how scared I was. The nurse was like "it's ok, why are you crying? You have done this before." I was just like I don't know I'm just scared. I don't think the fear of L&D ever goes away. I'm gonna be scared to death with this one too.

Same here!! While I didn't cry while pushing w/ my first, I was freaked out beyond belief of what was going on. Hopefully, I'll be calmer this time around and the labor won't be as long. I think that had something to do with it as well - I was in labor for 17 hours w/ DS.

I just reached 29 weeks and am starting to freak a little bit, too - getting the room ready, the house ready, prepping bags for the hospital and DS's overnight stay at G&G's. Mentally preparing myself for what's to come, etc., etc., It is nice to know what to expect this time around, but each baby is different - I hope and pray he's as good as DS was - no colic, good eater, sleeper, etc.,

[busymama77]

Originally Posted by NicoleS

I am really getting frustrated with some "lactavists" on another one of my forums today. No offense to anyone who considers themselves a "lactavist" - but so many of the ones I've run across online seem to be of the mindset that every woman can BF and those that don't either gave up too easily, didn't try hard enough, or are too stupid to realize how much better BFing is than FFing.

Don't get me wrong, I can understand feeling passionate about something. But being a mom that has constantly had to struggle with BFing and CAN'T BF beyond 6 months (trust me, we've tried everything, even prescription drugs don't work for me) who is also pregnant and hormonal right now...it really gets me down.

I hear ya, mama. I was only able to nurse DS for 3 months. It was a real struggle for me to get passed the fact that I was no longer able to physically nourish my baby and had to supplement with formula. I felt like a complete failure. I just hope things are different this time around. I strongly believe that this all led to prolonged PPD - I just hated myself.

[1blueheron]

Originally Posted by busymama77

Same here!! While I didn't cry while pushing w/ my first, I was freaked out beyond belief of what was going on.

I wonder if I'm going to react like this. My mother told me that with her third (me!), when she hit transition she stood up and said "I'm out of here, I'm not doing this" and tried to leave the room! Of course, she was fine once I emerged, but I can just see myself doing something similarly nutty.

[Ambystoma]

Wow-talkative new thread today!

Originally Posted by Lauren31

I can understand that... I am actually SO nervous I won't be able to breast feed at all. No reason that I feel this way it is just something I want to do SO badly that it scares the bejesus out of me that it won't happen...

I'm really nervous about this too. Especially since I'm pretty much putting all my eggs in this basket-I don't know what we'd do if we had to budget for formula in addition to everything else. Not to mention that since I'll be out of the house a decent amount of time with school, I don't think I could put forth as much effort if something went wrong.

Originally Posted by 1blueheron

I wonder if I'm going to react like this. My mother told me that with her third (me!), when she hit transition she stood up and said "I'm out of here, I'm not doing this" and tried to leave the room! Of course, she was fine once I emerged, but I can just see myself doing something similarly nutty.

I can see me doing that, too.

I got a few diapers in the mail from the Zannadu sale today. They are so soft and adorable. I'm just about done with my newborn stash. Just need to get the prefolds!

[mtnmoonmama]

Anyone else looking forward to giving birth? I love love love birthing! It is so magical and transforming!