We have a division of labor in the morning that works for DH and me. He is a morning person and gets up very early and is alert and go go go. I am not a morning person, like to sleep till the last possible second (and feel I deserve it because of night-nursing), and am just slow as molasses some mornings and not as creative or playful as he is at that hour, his best. Accordingly, he does most of getting DD (2 y, 3 m) ready for school (mostly packing her hlunch, as she sleeps in the clothes she is going to wear the following day), putting on shoes and snowsuit, and transporting her to sch via subway.
We cosleep, and DD always wants to nurse in the morning as soon as she wakes up, or especially if she has to be awakened. This can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes. DH does not have time for more than 15 minutes, sometimes less, and ripping her off the boob sucks. Most days she will proceed directly to putting her shoes on "Hurry up Daddy! Out we go! Let's race to the A train!" or to playing or to breakfast (not necessary as she can eat on the subway and she gets breakfast at school within half an hour or less) (food we send, so we know her nutritional needs are met). If we have to forcibly end the nursing, we try to give her a role in it by saying she can nurse while we sing the alphabet song and then she pops off at the end.
Occassionally, especially recently, this does not work. She won't be transitioned to food, which makes me think it is not about hunger; she wants me; she doesn't want to go to school; she wants me to nurse her, hold her, to see me, etc. I need to get ready and out the door (to work) too and I can't do it with her physically impeding me. Worse, DH needs to get out the door and the crying/screaming for me instead of him triggers him and if it lasts he feels worn out. He tries to redirect her to reading (he'll read her a book) or getting her involved in the packing up (she picks the books she wants to read on the subway) or having her choose her shoes or having breakfast (out of the food he is packing for her lunch).
Usually it is a smooth transition but somedays it is horrid. Today was one of those days. I think it is partly because she had 2 solid days with me and partly part of an increased dependency I have been seeing for the past 2-ish weeks (not sure what that is about except the normal in between being a baby and being a big girl stuff).
I have tried introducing a new stuffed animal to hug instead of hugging me (we have a bunch stashed) but DH doesn't want to go there because it will, in his view, teach her that crying works.
Mornings when DH is out of town and I am doing this on my own can be even more dreadful if she just won't come off the boob and I need to get to work.
I don't think this is a change schools thing just because she sometimes says she doesn't want to go to school -- I think she is just articulate enough to say that she would prefer to be with me (usually when it has been 2 or more days without school). In the same way that when she is iwth me at other times and she really wants to be with both me and DH she will demand that Daddy come too.
One solution is for me to hurry the heck up and leave with them so she can have me with her on the commute. And nurse if I can get a seat. That works if DH wakes her up before he packs her lunch and/or if he has some flex in his arrival time at work.
Other solutions? Or better yet insights into what might be going on for her emotionally?
Note that she is always happy once she is at school. Note also that there have been increasingly frequent demands for nursing and for me to carry her in general.
We cosleep, and DD always wants to nurse in the morning as soon as she wakes up, or especially if she has to be awakened. This can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes. DH does not have time for more than 15 minutes, sometimes less, and ripping her off the boob sucks. Most days she will proceed directly to putting her shoes on "Hurry up Daddy! Out we go! Let's race to the A train!" or to playing or to breakfast (not necessary as she can eat on the subway and she gets breakfast at school within half an hour or less) (food we send, so we know her nutritional needs are met). If we have to forcibly end the nursing, we try to give her a role in it by saying she can nurse while we sing the alphabet song and then she pops off at the end.
Occassionally, especially recently, this does not work. She won't be transitioned to food, which makes me think it is not about hunger; she wants me; she doesn't want to go to school; she wants me to nurse her, hold her, to see me, etc. I need to get ready and out the door (to work) too and I can't do it with her physically impeding me. Worse, DH needs to get out the door and the crying/screaming for me instead of him triggers him and if it lasts he feels worn out. He tries to redirect her to reading (he'll read her a book) or getting her involved in the packing up (she picks the books she wants to read on the subway) or having her choose her shoes or having breakfast (out of the food he is packing for her lunch).
Usually it is a smooth transition but somedays it is horrid. Today was one of those days. I think it is partly because she had 2 solid days with me and partly part of an increased dependency I have been seeing for the past 2-ish weeks (not sure what that is about except the normal in between being a baby and being a big girl stuff).
I have tried introducing a new stuffed animal to hug instead of hugging me (we have a bunch stashed) but DH doesn't want to go there because it will, in his view, teach her that crying works.
Mornings when DH is out of town and I am doing this on my own can be even more dreadful if she just won't come off the boob and I need to get to work.
I don't think this is a change schools thing just because she sometimes says she doesn't want to go to school -- I think she is just articulate enough to say that she would prefer to be with me (usually when it has been 2 or more days without school). In the same way that when she is iwth me at other times and she really wants to be with both me and DH she will demand that Daddy come too.
One solution is for me to hurry the heck up and leave with them so she can have me with her on the commute. And nurse if I can get a seat. That works if DH wakes her up before he packs her lunch and/or if he has some flex in his arrival time at work.
Other solutions? Or better yet insights into what might be going on for her emotionally?
Note that she is always happy once she is at school. Note also that there have been increasingly frequent demands for nursing and for me to carry her in general.
