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Dreading Doc visit because DS isn't 'up-to date'

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
DS has a fever and a cough that developed quite abruptly. It seems to be painful when he coughs, just like it was before when he had bronchitis. But, he had a cough for a little longer last time. This time, Saturday he coughed maybe 5 times during the whole day, and woke up at 5:45 am Sunday with a worse cough and fever. He hasn't eaten much at all, but has nursed like a champ.

I'm taking him into an appt in a couple of hours, and dread taking him because we stopped vaxing after his 6 month visit. What do I say when they ask? This is his regular office, but only our 2nd appt there, completely different doc. They have his records, so I can't really say he is up to date, right? Won't they see that I lied? I know I'm a good parent, why do I feel so fearful going to the doctors, just because of our vax decision?
post #2 of 11
Well, I would just say "we've decided to wait" - and when they start pushing you, I'd say "well, he's sick today and thus vaccinating him today is contraindicated, so let's set that discussion aside for next time perhaps."

And repeat as necessary.

The trick, I've discovered, is to not get into the specifics. Don't bring up any specific reasons or concerns about delaying/stopping. Just stick with "I've decided to wait" or "I've decided not to" and that's it.

Also, might I suggest you look into switching to a family practice or a doctor that won't put as much pressure on you? Unfortunately your situation is one major problem in the health care system today: we parents may hesitate to seek medical care for our children due to the hostility and pressure we may face on vaccinations. If you can develop a trusting relationship with a health care provider, you can avoid all this stress and focus more on your child's health than on the struggle.

I get nervous, too, when I bring DD to a doctor's office. You're not alone.
post #3 of 11
Oh, I forgot to mention to you. This is really important.

The doctor works for YOU.

We hire doctors for their services, just like lawyers and accountants and such.

They are not God, or even your boss, or your mother. They are hired professionals.

Obviously the nature of their profession complicates the issue, but when you are nervous talking to to the doctor, remember, you are the customer. If you don't like the doctor or the doctor's services, you are empowered to fire your doctor and go elsewhere.

I think realizing this really made a difference in how I approach doctors. I still treat them with respect but I will not cower before them any more. Yes, I am still nervous, though, but I remember this and make sure I make decisions for the benefit of my family, not because I'm scared of the doctor.
post #4 of 11
As a fall-back approach, "My husband/partner and I have decided to wait..." is a helpful variant, because said co-decision-maker isn't present, so you can't do anything right now. But long-term, finding a HCP who you feel listens and respects your decisions is important, for many reasons (do you want to rely on these people in an emergency?).
post #5 of 11
what laohaire said.

I just wouldn't discuss it at all. If they mention it simply say "I brought dc in because of his cough, what do you think is going on with that?" If they mention vax again say you can say "I will set up an appointment to discuss that another time, but I have brought dc today because of the cough. Could it be bronchitis?" lather, rinse, repeat as necessary.

Of course, you don't have to make another appointment to discuss vax if you don't want to.
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 
Thanks Mama's for the quick responses...we are leaving shortly. I feel the "my parnter and I have agreed to wait" is a good thing to say, this is what I was thinking about initially. We have been trying to find a new practitioner. We have gone through 5 docs, a np and 3 different offices in ds's almost 20 months on this earth, and I hate it...there is nothing more that I want than to find a practice where we can have some good mutual respect.
post #7 of 11
Just wanted to say-- I've never been asked about vax status when I've taken a sick child in for treatment. Hope the appt goes well and that your DS feels better soon!
post #8 of 11
Have you check on your tribe board for a Dr. That is where I got my rec and when I finally had to go, the Dr. did not mention vaccines at all (it's a DOs practice with a good rep in my tribe).
post #9 of 11
Thread Starter 
Visit went well. No ask of vaccinations by nurse or doc. We actually liked the doc. He was pleasant and good with DS. Idk about ever finding the 'perfect' practioner. This one was good.

There is a no-vax/selective office close by, but it is hard to get an appointment. We'll see. DS doesn't get sick often, but it would be nice to have a good office or gp to rely on, if needed.

DS has croup... Poor little guy. No idea where he picked it up from. So, lots of rest, and bm for him. I just picked up a vaporizer. Any other suggestions?
post #10 of 11
Vitamin C

We use Sodium Ascorbate for sickness.

Just in case you don't know where to get it, here is where I get mine:

http://www.bronsonvitamins.com/48A/vitamin-c-1000-mg
post #11 of 11
I love sodium ascorbate. Now that my son is in school and I am in school, I don't get to bed earlier but I get up about 1.5 hrs earlier. It has kept me from coming down with full blown anything this semester.
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