Should I Stop Snuggling Her at Night?

[bumblecat]

I have an 8 week old DD. My first. We have a crib mattress on a platform level with our queen size bed that's snug between the bed and wall. Before she was born, that's where I thought she would sleep, but as it turns out, that's just where I keep all her diapering stuff and extra clothes and my snack box and stuff. She always sleeps either on my chest, or on her side with us facing each other. I usually put my arm around her but sometimes not if she's between me and the wall. If she's between me and DH I always keep her in the crook of my arm so I can feel if he is too close, since he sleeps too deeply to be aware. He'll even roll over on me in his sleep, lol. I have found that we both (me and her) have a hard time getting to sleep if we're not touching each other. If I put her on "her bed" she would only be a couple feet away from me, but I have never wanted to put her over there and my hunch is that she wouldn't sleep as well. As it is, She will usually sleep from 11pm to 6am waking up twice to nurse, but not fully waking even then. I am able to nurse her sidelying and usually wake up and nurse when she starts kicking and grunting - before she gets very noisy about it. I can often fall back asleep when she gets a good latch. DH usually sleeps right through it. So, I really like our sleeping arrangement the way it is.

But. Last night around 2am I woke up to her rooting around on my back! In between me and DH! I had no idea that she was on that side of me or that I had turned away from her. I have never turned away from her before or had any problem with not knowing where she was in my sleep. But last night before she woke me up, I was completely unaware and that worries me a lot. I am thinking maybe I'd better hang the shelf that I bought for the wall above her part of the bed to put her diapers and clothes on and start having her try to sleep over there. WDYT?

[tanyam926]

I have been cosleeping for 7 yrs w/ 3 kids and that has happened to me a handful of times. It was usually when I was REALLY exhausted. I felt I needed to be more aware but didn't let it scare me away from snuggling at night.

I, like you, sleep so much better when baby and I are touching, so have my babies.

My advice is trust your instincts on this one. If you are really concerned maybe try putting the baby a little farther from you. If you notice that it happens when you are exhausted or sick, take precautions during those times. If you feel like this was a rare occurrence and wasn't really dangerous, then I would keep doing what you are doing. I take comfort in the fact that babies have been sleeping cuddled up w/mama for thousands of yrs and that it's not inherently dangerous. Knowing this, I set up our sleep area as safely as possible and tryed not to worry.

Your lo is still teeny tiny and as they get older it becomes less of a concern bc they can move around more easily and are bigger.

I can understand your concern though, I remember the first time ds1 fell out of our bed in the middle of the night and I was terrified.

HTH!

[Chloe'sMama]

I noticed when DD got a little bigger (2-3 months) I felt more comfortable sleepign with her and I would also wake up with my back to her. She has always slept between DH and I and I have not been too worried, but it sounds like your DH sleeps more soundly than mine. Perhaps put up a rail and keep her on that side of you?

[BrittneyMarie]

That would terrify me, not being aware of dd. she wont sleep without snuggling though, so i dont know what id do. maybe try to keep her a bit further from you, just in case

[Harmony08]

Ideas...

I love these products http://www.gobedbug.com/. You can put one in between you two and dh. Before we got these I used a shoe. He wouldn't roll over the shoe.

For you turning away from her...I put a firm pillow behind my back while we nurse. I fall asleep and sort of lie back on the pillow but I can't roll all the way over without waking up more.

Put a night light in the room when she is in your bed...just kind keeps you more aware.

So. I didn't sleep with ds until he was 5 months so I don't really have experience with your situation. Just know that nothing is in stone. You may move her own space for now and the sometime in the future (like the awful 4 month sleep regression) she may come back in with you. You can change your mind and mix it up. No worries.

[Harmony08]

or maybe you could get something like the snuggle nest and still be able to rest your arm on her or something.

[lotus.blossom]

I had the same sort of arrangement with my ds2. We had a crib mattress in a toddler bed which matched the height of our low bed. I let him sleep there a handful of times but he was just so cute and sweet and snuggly that I actually couldn't bear to have he sleep a foot away from me. So into the bed he went. And now he is so used to the feel of our bed that he wakes up frequently if I put him in his pack and play. SO my advice would be, put her on the crib mattress if you intend on having a crib for her eventually. So she will get used to it. Otherwise, if you can't resist her, just get ready for the long haul of cosleeping! I know for me there are times where I wish I could roll over. My left arm seizes up at times from sleeping with it tucked under my head. But its all worth it. (I now have the pack and play pushed up against my side of the bed, because he is so mobile now)

[bumblecat]

Thanks - I feel a bit more at ease about it now. I did hang a cubby shelf on the wall which I put her diapers and clothes and stuff in, so now her mattress is clear and I got her a nice warm sleep sack yesterday in case I want to try her on the crib mattress. (she sleeps under our covers when she's in our bed. she's never gotten them over her face, but I wouldn't want to give her her own blanket if she weren't next to me.) I went ahead and kept her with me last night and she slept 6 straight hours!! That's her longest stretch yet by far. I don't want to screw with that so maybe I'll just try to make sure I take a nap with her at some point each day so I don't zonk out so hard at night. I like the idea of a pillow behind my back to keep me from rolling away from her. And I'll just not allow her to sleep in the middle of us anymore so that if I am sleeping more deeply than usual I won't be as worried.