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Funny things people say pre-parenthood - Page 3

post #41 of 100
Quote:
ive used dirty laundry, clean laundry, the sleeve on my own shirt...."
And on that same kind of gross note, I never thought my first reaction to vomit would be to try to CATCH IT IN MY HANDS because it's easier than cleaning it out of the carseat, pool, bath, bed, etc. When you find yourself trying to angle the baby so she throws up on YOU and not the furniture because you know it's easier to shower than steam clean the sofa (again), you're at a whole new level of what the heck.

Can you tell I have a refluxer?
post #42 of 100
LOL... I was the BEST MOTHER before I had a baby. I told everyone how my baby would sleep through the night because I wouldn't spoil my baby. "Having a baby is easy, just have a schedule"

I knew NOTHING!!!!!!
post #43 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by NiteNicole View Post
And on that same kind of gross note, I never thought my first reaction to vomit would be to try to CATCH IT IN MY HANDSbecause it's easier than cleaning it out of the carseat, pool, bath, bed, etc. When you find yourself trying to angle the baby so she throws up on YOU and not the furniture because you know it's easier to shower than steam clean the sofa (again), you're at a whole new level of what the heck.

Can you tell I have a refluxer?
I remember being mid-20-ish, longer before I ever thought about having a child, and hearing a woman at work talk about catching vomit. My BFF and I practically ran to my office and had a 45 minute discussion about how gross that was and how we would never do such a time.

And now, I am a darn good vomit-catcher.
post #44 of 100
Things I said --- someone was off for nursing at 18 months......my oldest daughter nursed until after her 4th birthday. LOL

The crib thing --- had one with the first, good laundry basket. The other two I didn't even purchase one. We knew they would not be sleeping in it.
post #45 of 100
Man, the things I said.

First, I said I wanted like 20 kids. My DD is now just over 2 and I have no inkling towards another (though I love my child infinitely and think she is the biggest gift ever) yet.

I thought mothering would just be like regular life "only with a baby".

I actually said that "breastfeeding will just be so natural and will come so easily". mmhmmmm.... and i've had: bleeding cracked nipples, engorgment, recurring milk blisters for 6 weeks, mastitis twice.... SO easy!


Something that I did know though, is that I wanted to stay home with my babe. I don't think it ever even came up in discussion, it was such a given for me. I'm still at home and have no inkling to go back to any sort of work (though I do write an article a month for a newspaper, if that counts...)
post #46 of 100
I cringe every time I think about anything I said that started with "If that were my kid...." (and I said it way more than I like to admit)

The other thing that I find funny (in a not so ha-ha funny way) is when I had this whole plan that DS would sleep in his co-sleeper for a few months until he was sleeping through the night and then we would gradually move him away from us until he was in his own room at about 6 months old... what was I thinking? 21 months and he's only slept through the night once... goodness I was naive.
post #47 of 100
My best friend was pregnant while my DS was about 3.. One day we were walking home from a resturant and he was throwing a terribly fit (the kind where he's practically hanging upside out of the stroller, flailing around). She said, "my child will NEVER behave like that"! I just looked at her and went, "uh huh, SUUUURE"..

Her child is now 20mo, VERY stubborn, high needs and throws fits all the time. A little bit of reality has set it.
post #48 of 100
Oh, I remember being a smug overworked, 26 year old with a stressful job and not enough time for myself. I thought those SAHMs had it easy with their strollers and coffee in hand and chatting at the park. I remember being totally exhausted on the weekends and needing to de-stress and unwind from my hard work-week. I didn't have "enough time for myself," but I managed to do my hair every morning, get massages and pedicures, and wear cute, well-tailored clothes. Not to say working people w/out kids don't have stressful lives, but in retrospect, I was just an annoying, entry-level employee in a big-deal field and didn't have the first clue about exhaustion.

Three kids under four? That's true exhaustion. It's a beautiful life, but an exhausting one.

Edited: I have another one! When I was very pre-kids (like 17 or 18) I remember telling people I was going to have five kids and work out of the home for Doctors without Borders (you know, lots of international travel!) because my husband would be a SAHD. Yeah, sure.
post #49 of 100
My favorite comes from a SIL who was all for planning a giant all family cruise (all=all adults, no kids). I was against it, as my youngest would have been 2 at the time of the trip. She was due just 2 or 3 months prior to the planned date. She said it would be no problem because she wouldn't be nursing, and most likely she would be pg again because she wanted her kids close together. She was planning on leaving baby with her parents for the week.

The cruise never happened, but that SIL did nurse (although not for a real long time) and was a very attached baby wearing mama. There is no way she would have left her for the cruise. And, to top it off, she is just now pg again. Her dd1 will be nearly 3 when the second is born.

Amy
post #50 of 100
I had a lot of naive ideas. I had spent literally no time with babies since I was 3 yrs old with my brother having just been born. After that, I had never held or even seen a newborn up close except in pictures once I found out I was pg (BIG surprise!!!) with ds1. I'd never held a baby, of any age and had only babysat twice and once was a 5 yr old who was under the primary care of my friend and the second time was an eight yr old and I was 12.

Soooo, clearly I had no life experiences and few memories to draw on when we rsvp'd for an out-of-town wedding 3 weeks following a planned (though not wanted) c/s. We went and I vowed to never do that again. It was insane. An older lady took my ds1 out of my arms (I could barely walk and was so weak that I couldn't even stop her, let alone raise my voice because I was so ill and unable to breathe properly from severe adhesions) and walked away into a crowd of about 75 people, out of sight. My dh had lost his voice from the air conditioning in the hotel room the night before and I couldn't yell for him. I eventually hobbled close enough to get his attention and he came and RAN frantically to find our son, which he did, and he severely reprimanded the lady. The wedding was in a rural church, on a highway 50km from the nearest town. What was she thinking???!!!

Before having a baby, I used to be annoyed when people wouldn't disappear from sight and earshot when their babies cried and couldn't understand why anyone with a baby would even go out where others would have to hear that.

I also thought my dc would never throw fits, say disrespectful things or hit. They just wouldn't because I wouldn't allow it, so they wouldn't do it.

I also didn't see myself having children or being married/partnered, though, so my thoughts were all hypothetical and I assumed they would always be.

It's probably a huge gift to me and my friends that I was the first to have children among us. I have to say though that my experiences with a high needs 1st baby scared two of my friends so much that they didn't end up even trying for a baby until they saw that my second and third sons didn't kill me. And they WANTED children beforehand!

I am also a great vomit catcher and bodily recipient. Oh, and I'm good with urine and feces and my legs seem to be very convenient for wiping food remnants off on while my dc walk by...

One of my friends has just recently after her dc are now 3 and 4.5, stopped meeting my 'this is just how it is' comments about my own life with "why don't you just _______ (insert idea that works with two children and is utterly impossible with four)." I'm glad because it was seriously straining our friendship.

I know so much now that I didn't beforehand, but this has illuminated how much I don't know and how much I am floundering around in a sea of good intentions. "I'm doing my best" never seemed quite sincere enough to me when I heard others say it before I had my dc, but now, it has a world of meaning so deep and beyond the simple phrase it is that I use it sparingly and only when I know the person who recieves it can appreciate what I mean by it.
post #51 of 100
There are a couple big things I remember in these discussions... I have a Bachelors in Child Development and was a preschool teacher, then center director prior to being a Mom. Needless to say, I had it all figured out... I had a former co-worker who left to SAH, she talked about how she was co-sleeping, but safely, being very careful with bedding, blankets, etc. I remember very clearly lecturing her about how dangerous that was, how she needed a crib, she knew better, etc. She reassured me she was careful, had done her research, didn't have extra bedding, etc. and I was still just SHOCKED at her callous disregard of all the "rules". I still want to try to find her and apologize...

I had a mom who was having trouble with her 4 yo getting in bed with them at night, and remembering laughing with my (childless) coworkers about how our kids would NEVER do that...

And I vividly remember the mom still nursing her 3 yo, and being HORRIFIED that I would NEVER nurse past a year or so. My kids would self-wean by a year, anything past that was mama-led..

Well, I now have a co-sleeping 5 yo, and a co-sleeping AND nursing 2 y. 11m. old, so yeah...
post #52 of 100
Oooo, I remember visiting our friends who have three dc, one is an aspie with some very challenging issues that take a lot of time even with a care worker coming in for a few hours every day to relieve mum. They also homeschooled at the time (they don't now) and there were always toys on the floor- even on the stairs.

I used to wonder how anyone could stand to walk around a toy on the floor not just once, but repeatedly, and not bother to pick it up! I mean, it's right there! Just lean over and pick it up; how hard could that possibly be?

I'm glad I never said anything because then I'd have to relate the grace with which I reel around the myriad toys and acrobatically navigate our home mid-day. I find toys in the sink, the fridge and the cupboards, no less. And we have very few toys, but they spread amazingly easily for their sparse population.

It turns out that one can only lean over so many times before it seems pointless, and is. I think of this when our childless friends come over and they have to step around a wooden car, in front of the door, that's been there for an hour or so...
post #53 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by berry987 View Post
Oh, I remember being a smug overworked, 26 year old with a stressful job and not enough time for myself. I thought those SAHMs had it easy with their strollers and coffee in hand and chatting at the park. I remember being totally exhausted on the weekends and needing to de-stress and unwind from my hard work-week. I didn't have "enough time for myself," but I managed to do my hair every morning, get massages and pedicures, and wear cute, well-tailored clothes. Not to say working people w/out kids don't have stressful lives, but in retrospect, I was just an annoying, entry-level employee in a big-deal field and didn't have the first clue about exhaustion.
I remember being the same way. I remember complaining all the time about being "so tired" and "so busy" when I was in college and as a new employee, and I look back now and can't believe I didn't use alllllllllll the free time I had more wisely. I would kill for that much time to myself these days!
post #54 of 100
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreggieUBA2C View Post
Before having a baby, I used to be annoyed when people wouldn't disappear from sight and earshot when their babies cried and couldn't understand why anyone with a baby would even go out where others would have to hear that.

I also thought my dc would never throw fits, say disrespectful things or hit. They just wouldn't because I wouldn't allow it, so they wouldn't do it.
Totally cracking up here. Mostly because I can relate.

Quote:
Originally Posted by limabean View Post
I remember being the same way. I remember complaining all the time about being "so tired" and "so busy" when I was in college and as a new employee, and I look back now and can't believe I didn't use alllllllllll the free time I had more wisely. I would kill for that much time to myself these days!
So so so so T.R.U.E. OMG. I was sooooo tired and busy. Now, if I have one tenth of that free time, I am grateful, and I use that precious gift of time wisely.
post #55 of 100
My sister and I used to roll our eyes whenever we witnessed my aunt "disciplining" her kids. They'd be getting into something breakable or dangerous and she say calmly and quietly, "Honey, please don't do that" "Honey, please stop." We were raised in a much louder, more physical environment that entailed one or both parents yelling, "NO!" and yanking us away from whatever it was. So we just couldn't BELIEVE this quiet pleading would work for her....

Joke's on me. Now those kids are two of the most well-adjusted, even-tempered adults I've ever met, and I'm trying to mother my son more like she did, even though the natural tendency is to the yell-and-yank approach. Thanks to you moms here, I've seen with my own eyes that remaining calm really does work much better! Still working on it, but I laugh out loud every time I hear myself say, "Sweetie, please don't do that" to my son.
post #56 of 100
If I had stumbled upon MDC before having kids, i would've thought you were all huge weirdos. Co-sleeping? Crazy! Cloth diapering? Gross! My tune changed once I had a baby of my own.

My husband and I were at a store one day pre-kids, There were 2 kids running around, getting into things, and frequently running across our path, getting in our way. My husband said to me, "Our kids will NEVER behave like that. They will be respectful and MARCH in a single file!" He was sort of kidding. But I was reminded of that statement when I had DD at the grocery store last week and among other things she decided to: pretend to be a cat and crawl around the store and meow, spin around and make herself dizzy, and run fast and get in peoples' way.
post #57 of 100
I used to mentally berate parents for bringing their kids on the plane...I mean, jeez, couldn't they hire a nanny to take care of them while they went away? They are soooo disruptive I made the worst faces seeing little kids on red-eye flights

Oh...and didn't ya know...I was going to take art classes and write my book while on maternity leave..

6 years later and I'm lucky if I get time alone in the bathroom to myself..
post #58 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeguard View Post
You know it irritated me before I had ds (especially as it took us 6 years to conceive) when people automatically disregarded me just because I wasn't a mommy & I refuse to do it to other people.

OF COURSE, we ALL have misperceptions before we have babies. And we do it with everything in our lives. First job, first road trip, before marriage, first house, first credit card, etc, etc, etc. Until you have lived something you can never truly comprehend it. I don't think of that as stupid but just how things are.

I have made a promise to myself that I will NEVER say to someone "We'll see when you have kids!" as I found that SO hurtful.
Ditto. I've been TTC for over two years, and it's so hard. On another message board I'm on, there was an argument as to whether childless people should be posting on the parenting board. One person said, "If you don't have kids, you haven't earned the right to give advice." That was so hurtful. Did she really do something special to "earn" being a mother? What do I have to do to "earn" it? Because as far as work goes, I'm pretty sure I've put in way more work than her trying to get pregnant!

That's not to say that the things said on here aren't naive. They are. And I am laughing at a lot of them. I'm SURE I will be changing my mind on things. But just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about ever. Even parents say stupid things. A lot. (See *worst parenting advice* thread. ) I absolutely love lurking on the Parenting and Gentle Discipline boards here. I have a library in my house of Attachment Parenting books. From all I've gleaned, I don't have any expectations of how my kids will be, because I have no clue! I can plan to do things like breastfeed, cloth diaper, and co-sleep, though, and I most certainly will not circumcise. My MIL gives me flack all the time, saying, "You'll see." I really hate it, because I'm not just pulling things out of my butt. I've done lots of research, and these things are very important to me. I think it's different in that I am not saying, "This is how it will be," but, "I feel strongly about this, and it's what I would like to do."

Okay, I'm done. This isn't directed at anyone here, because as far as I've read, no one's said, "All childless people are stupid..." or whatever. But I just wanted to throw it out there as something to think about.
post #59 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by anne1140 View Post
But just because someone doesn't have kids doesn't mean they don't know what they are talking about ever. Even parents say stupid things. A lot. (See *worst parenting advice* thread. ) I absolutely love lurking on the Parenting and Gentle Discipline boards here. I have a library in my house of Attachment Parenting books. From all I've gleaned, I don't have any expectations of how my kids will be, because I have no clue! I can plan to do things like breastfeed, cloth diaper, and co-sleep, though, and I most certainly will not circumcise. My MIL gives me flack all the time, saying, "You'll see." I really hate it, because I'm not just pulling things out of my butt. I've done lots of research, and these things are very important to me. I think it's different in that I am not saying, "This is how it will be," but, "I feel strongly about this, and it's what I would like to do."

Okay, I'm done. This isn't directed at anyone here, because as far as I've read, no one's said, "All childless people are stupid..." or whatever. But I just wanted to throw it out there as something to think about.
I just wanted to offer you support. I didn't have anything to do with mothers or babies until I became one and had my own, and although I had horrid thoughts about the way others raised their children before my ds1 was born (see my above posts...), I was actually clueless.

Everytime I see a ttc with no children (yet) member on here, I think very highly of the person who considers life and family so important that s/he is willing to really learn and really engage others on topics related even before having children. I always feel a bit envious because I think that while I'll continue to make mistakes as a mother, I wouldn't have made some of the particular ones that I did, had I spent some time even talking with others who cared, whether or not they had children.

I have a friend who doesn't have a partner, isn't pg and won't be anytime unless she finds one or makes other decisions leading to raising a child, and I looooooove talking with her about family life because she is so in love with family life that she has taken her whole adult life so far and learned and grown and matured in ways that have truly blessed many mothers and fathers and children and families. Her reading and her work are dominated by her interest in gentle and creative family living.

She is lightyears ahead of where I was even years after having children.

I always wish I had the foresight and love that she does now before my family started. I had so much catching up to do when I found myself overwhelmingly drowning in love for my new babe and no information and no support for the ways I found myself instinctually mothering, and no idea where to go to find others who knew more.

I just love that you do participate, even with such ignorant remarks as the ones others have made toward you or others in similar situations (not at all meaning to demean; your 'situation' is perfectly valid and valuable!!!).
post #60 of 100
Quote:
Originally Posted by PreggieUBA2C View Post
I'm glad I never said anything because then I'd have to relate the grace with which I reel around the myriad toys and acrobatically navigate our home mid-day. I find toys in the sink, the fridge and the cupboards, no less. And we have very few toys, but they spread amazingly easily for their sparse population.
All it takes is one box of Legos!
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