Funny things people say pre-parenthood - Page 5

[Peppermint Poppies]

Two friends/colleagues (from when I worked pre-DS) are now currently pregnant at the same time. On facebook, one of them wrote to the other and said it was so exciting because now they could be ladies of leisure together.

[sweetpeppers]

Funny things I said and did while pregnant with my son:

-My mom was saying something about how pro-breastfeeding she was, and somehow LLL came up and she said, well some of them are pretty extreme, I think if they are old enough to chew their own food then they're too old to be nursing. I totally agreed. LOL, now I'm nursing my almost three year old and my mom is always telling him how lucky he is to have all this good milk.
-I set up my son's crib in his own room.
-I knew I wanted as much time with my son as possible, but I really planned on going back to work after I took all my family leave up. Didn't happen.
-I still refuse to have a child that throws a fit in the grocery store...only sometimes I do...

I think the thing is babies and kids are just so not a part of regular life, that most (many?) mothers are basically clueless about how babies or children really act. Case in point: the classic sitcom baby: one episode of crying baby, sleepless mother and then she's back to regular life and you never see the baby again, except for cute camios. It's always one extreme or the other.

[Jill0905]

My mom told me when I was pregnant with ds1 to never say anything about "how my child will never..". She said it will come back tenfold. So true! I said that my child will never have fits it the store. oh yea, sure!! Never say never is all I am going to say!

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by sweetpeppers

I think the thing is babies and kids are just so not a part of regular life, that most (many?) mothers are basically clueless about how babies or children really act. Case in point: the classic sitcom baby: one episode of crying baby, sleepless mother and then she's back to regular life and you never see the baby again, except for cute camios. It's always one extreme or the other.

YES!! Years ago, the extended family all lived in the same house. People had lots & lots of kids, so whether you were 12 or 20 there was probably a baby around... I think people might have known a little more what to expect back then, although it's always different when it's your own! But now... I don't even watch much TV but the "sitcom baby" is ingrained in my mind. I really thought my life would be exactly the same except "with a baby"... I really thought I'd still go to work, go out & about, go on "dates" with DH, get lots of sleep, etc... I had NO CLUE what babies were really like. I thought something was wrong with my baby for months because I was in such shock... well he had colic & he's very high needs but I think I would've dealt better if I'd had more realistic expectations.

ETA: Now when I watch TV I laugh at how inaccurate the shows are... I'm always thinking, where's the baby? Who's watching the baby? How come the baby never cries? Why is the baby still in a 22-lb max carrier but can already walk & stack blocks?

[ProtoLawyer]

I don't think it's particularly "naive" or "stupid" to say things like "I don't want my baby in my bed" or "I don't want to be a SAHM and don't envision myself ever doing so." Because you know what? I don't, right now. It's an expression of a state of mind, an opinion, right now. These things can change, I understand. It's kind of like "I don't want to be a lawyer," 10 years ago--back then, I didn't, and it wasn't naive of me to say so. Now, I am.

Ditto for "I will go back to work when my leave is up." Because, you know what? I will. I'm the breadwinner. If I don't, we don't eat. I also have a mental health issue that will make it worse if I *don't* have an externally imposed schedule (even if being away from the baby all day will suck). And I'll find a way to be OK with it.

Edit: The "just you wait" stuff PPs remarked about infuriate me as well. I find it as unhelpful from the "crunchy" ("you may THINK you don't want to sleep with your child but JUST YOU WAIT!") as I do the "mainstream" ("oh, you may THINK you're down with natural childbirth, but JUST YOU WAIT!")
How about letting me figure out what works best for me and my family for myself? (I have to give my husband a LOT of credit here...he's experienced in this--well, the having an infant part, the pregnancy part is only vicarious--but has not really not given me any "oh, you won't wanna do that because when my ex was pregnant with my daughter, she did X...")

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by Turtlecouple

yeeahhh...I cringe when I think about some of the stuff I said pre-babies...

exactly!

I remember when I would be out in stores and see unruly toddlers or babies and thinking my kid wuold never be allowed to do that. HA! Little did I know that the children that act this way sometimes can not be quieted by even the best parents in the world. No parent is perfect and no child is perfect and nowadays when I witness those types of children in stores I nod my head in sympathy to the parent.

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

ETA: Now when I watch TV I laugh at how inaccurate the shows are... I'm always thinking, where's the baby? Who's watching the baby? How come the baby never cries? Why is the baby still in a 22-lb max carrier but can already walk & stack blocks?

I have always liked how sitcoms (soap operas too) with babies always make the babies magically disappear and always wonder who is watching them.

[2lilsweetfoxes]

Originally Posted by sweetpeppers

Case in point: the classic sitcom baby: one episode of crying baby, sleepless mother and then she's back to regular life and you never see the baby again, except for cute camios. It's always one extreme or the other.

And the next season--the baby is a preschooler.

Though the bringing the baby out very rarely is probably due to the child acting labor laws--if the baby has a central role, then they need to hire twins or triplets, and the amount of time it takes to get one shot. Also, babies are unpredictable.

[PreggieUBA2C]

Originally Posted by Fuamami

All it takes is one box of Legos!

Indeed!

Originally Posted by Peppermint Poppies

Two friends/colleagues (from when I worked pre-DS) are now currently pregnant at the same time. On facebook, one of them wrote to the other and said it was so exciting because now they could be ladies of leisure together.

I laughed really hard when I read this. Then I read it to dh; he laughed really hard too.

I am presently planning to do EC with our next babe, and I told my friends, who were completely shocked at the idea, which surprised me because of their backgrounds, so I explained it and that didn't help. I am prepared to be mocked if it doesn't work out for us... But I really, really want to.

Just watch, this will be the first babe of ours to actually sleep, and then my senses will relax and I'll be doing a lot of poopy non-diaper laundry (before I give in and use the cloth diapers instead).

[Mrs. Bratton]

Originally Posted by onemomentatatime

Before DC#1, I worked full time out of the house, DH worked full time at home. We thought after my maternity leave was up DH could care for DC at home and work at home AT THE SAME TIME! You know, she'd play on the floor on her playmat or with her blocks while DH got his work done. When she wasn't napping of course.

This is exactly what DH did w/ Chloe until she was over a year. Now she has been going to daycare a few days a week. She has gotten to a point where she has a fit if he is not in the same room as her. her "room" at his warehouse/office thing is across from his actual office where his desk and computer is. He uses a baby gate in the doorway and the entire room is baby proof and full of toys. So she can hang out and play in there and he can see her.

That just recently started to be a problem so we got her in an in-home daycare. But before that it wasnt an issue.

When she was a newborn he just worked right from home. She slept a LOT.

[frontierpsych]

Originally Posted by crunchy_mommy

Why is the baby still in a 22-lb max carrier but can already walk & stack blocks?

lol, well, my son is 18 lbs and can walk and stack blocks! (he's 16 months)

[crunchy_mommy]

Originally Posted by onemomentatatime

Before DC#1, I worked full time out of the house, DH worked full time at home. We thought after my maternity leave was up DH could care for DC at home and work at home AT THE SAME TIME! You know, she'd play on the floor on her playmat or with her blocks while DH got his work done. When she wasn't napping of course.

That is what I do actually, I watch DS while I work (he crawls up to me when he wants to nurse!) It works well but definitely can get stressful at times... especially when I'm trying to talk to clients while he is screaming in the background!! But, just wanted to say, it CAN be done.

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

lol, well, my son is 18 lbs and can walk and stack blocks! (he's 16 months)

LOL!! Well I just meant... the age the kid is 'supposed' to be doesn't always seem to match his abilities/size/etc.

I have a chunky kid but he's almost a year & the same height as his 4-month-old cousin!!!!!!!!!! lol

[TulsiLeaf]

Oh I was gonna pierce my babies ears at 6 weeks old.

[GISDiva]

DH and I agreed all around that we were going to travel with baby often and we were not going to let a 2 year old stop us from going to restaurants, we were going to teach him to be nice at the table and NEVER let him run around and he was going to sit quietly while we all ate.

Yeah. We still take him plenty of places, don't get me wrong, but we've become bonafide homebodies now! And we like it!

[peaceful_mama]

Before we had kids, DH wanted a dozen. Now, 3 is sometimes "too many"

I have a friend who gives me crap whenever I mention the latest thing the kids are doing to drive me crazy because when DS was about 2 weeks old, I informed her something along the lines that he was the sweetest being on the planet, **Everything** he does is cute, and I will *NEVER EVER* feel that way about this person... (in response to something *her* kids did that drove her crazy I'm sure...)

Yeah. In the days before he had siblings or the ability to fight with them...

Said same friend breastfed to age 2. While I never said anything, I did think it was a little above and beyond.
My daughter self-weaned shortly before the baby came and we briefly tried out tandem nursing. (She wasn't *truly* all that interested in nursing anymore, and *I* didn't particularly love tandem-ing...worked out well for both of us. She was 5 days short of 22 mos when he was born)
DS2 is nursing and I have no plans on making that stop. (13 mos)

Almost everyone I know has coslept and before I had kids, I was "NEVER" going to do that....till I got DS1 home and well, I just couldn't sleep WITHOUT him! (he stayed in my bed 11 months full time, I crawled in *his* bed--a queen mattress on the floor--till he stopped night-waking at around 18 months, napped with him well beyond then. DD coslept till shortly before DS2 was born. DS2 is almost 14 months and while I occasionally entertain the idea of doing what I did with DS1, I don't *really* want to do it anytime *soon* he's just too dang cuddly and it's too easy to just stick in the boo and get extra sleep at 6 AM )

Oh and when my dad advised "Don't do cloth diapers" I actually laughed and said "Who does *that* anymore anyway, Dad?" (then I found MDC, and ds1 had cloth diapers at 7 months old )

this one would be funny if it wasn't so sad.....I was going to breastfeed when I was pregnant with DS1....nobody warned me the hospital could sabotage that. I was *completely* unprepared, figured I'd just well, stick boob in baby and it would all work out. It didn't.
It just made me that much more determined to NOT be sabotaged with DD, which I WASN"t

[Blueone]

I remember telling my mom how I would let my husband spend as much time as possible with our baby and how I wouldn't tell him what to do or how to do it or hover. Do you know how hard that is to do? I have to bite my tongue if I see him try to put him to sleep the wrong way and repeat to myself that it's ok if he holds him differently or spends time with him differently. LOL!

I swore he'd sleep in his own crib in his own room, that we'd breastfeed (didn't work out and still disappointed about that), that I'd never cloth diaper, etc. I've done the opposite of all of those, we bed share, bottle feed, and cloth diaper.

Now that I know the challenges of breastfeeding though, I'm determined to make it work next time and not let the hospital ruin it.

[Amys1st]

This thread makes me LOL.

When ever we have someone who is childless tell us a "well when I have kids..." story, DH usually just chuckles and says "Parenting is a humbling experience." and is the person in question says something back, DH always says "You know, we were also the greatest parents too before we had our kids." That usually ends the conversation.


We were very fortunate to grow up literally around babies. DH is from a family of 9 and he is number 8. So he was an uncle at age 11. I started dating him in HS so I was around babies whenever we were around his family. MY dd1 was #12 on the grandchild list and dd2 was #14. We both watched his and my siblings have babies and raise kids so we were fine waiting a while earlier in our marriage. Being young and childless, we could also babysit and stay later so we were used to babysit a lot in those days.

So most of what has happened in parenting we were not really surprised other than you have no idea how much you can really love someone until they are your children, kwim??

[BlueWolf]

A week before DD was born, we were at my in laws 4th of July party. DH's aunt is only a couple years older than him so her children are all under the age of 10. The six year old had been running around outside in the mud, then jumped on my IL's nice couches and got mud all over them. Both my ILs were so angry. I told my FIL that his granddaughter would NEVER behave in that manner. He just smiled at me and said "I'll hold you to that".

That being said, I will tried my darnedest to not allow my child to disrespect others belongings. I know I wont always be successful, but.. there you have it! lol

[Norasmomma]

I said I'd NEVER co-sleep(says the woman who has a 3 month and a 3 y/old in bed almost nightly ). Silly mama.

[Storm Bride]

Originally Posted by ProtoLawyer

I don't think it's particularly "naive" or "stupid" to say things like "I don't want my baby in my bed" or "I don't want to be a SAHM and don't envision myself ever doing so." Because you know what? I don't, right now. It's an expression of a state of mind, an opinion, right now. These things can change, I understand.

I agree, actually. These things are reflections of where someone is at pre-baby...and that can change (and doesn't always).

Edit: The "just you wait" stuff PPs remarked about infuriate me as well. I find it as unhelpful from the "crunchy" ("you may THINK you don't want to sleep with your child but JUST YOU WAIT!") as I do the "mainstream" ("oh, you may THINK you're down with natural childbirth, but JUST YOU WAIT!")

I find this stuff annoying, but I do understand how some of it happens.

The comments I really don't like from childless people are the "my child will never blah, blah, blah". That category grates on my last nerve. I very rarely say anything back, but that's when I'm most tempted to pull out the evil "just you wait". I've never understood why, in some cases, person A feels the need to tell Person B, who is doing something that Person A has never done, exactly what Person B is doing wrong, and how much better Person A would be at it...if Person A had ever done it. And, the number of people who pull out the, "oh, I know I'll be a wonderful parent, because I've babysat/had my niece over for a whole day/worked in childcare" absolutely blows my mind. I feel that's a bit like claiming one could win a golf tournament, because one has played the game with some friends a couple of times.

How about letting me figure out what works best for me and my family for myself? (I have to give my husband a LOT of credit here...he's experienced in this--well, the having an infant part, the pregnancy part is only vicarious--but has not really not given me any "oh, you won't wanna do that because when my ex was pregnant with my daughter, she did X...")

Your husband rocks. Seriously. The number of people who have to put up with that kind of thing blows my mind. I kind of get it, with respect to the actual parenting part - I know I used to talk to dh about things that had and hadn't wroked with ds1, when dd1 was little (although I did keep in mind that ds1 and dd1 have very different temperaments). The way some men will try to run a second wife's pregnancy by remote control, based on what their first wife's pregnancy was like just amazes me. Yeah - because obviously the second wife is exactly like the first wife - we're all stamped out with cookie cutters. *sigh*