CAUTION: This is NOT gentle.

[justKate]

My 10 month old DD will ONLY go to sleep if I physically restrain her.

We nurse side-lying, then when she pops off I cuddle her (usually facing me or on her back) and hold her arms down against her chest. She screams. Then she goes to sleep. I hate it but nothing else works.

She will not nurse to sleep. She will finish eating and then scream to get up. While screaming she kicks, bites, scratches, smacks, pulls hair, flips, arches her back. She draws blood with her fingernails, on both of us. Will not let you hold/rock/bounce her. Will only stop screaming and fighting if you hold her upright facing out. This can go on for HOURS.

She takes prevacid for reflux so I don't think it's acid. No ear infections. No teeth coming in. We do very little dairy or soy. Definitely over-tired but I cannot get her to sleep, ever. If I set her down to let her play more she will crawl directly in to a wall, wallop her head, then lay down and scream and throw herself around on the floor. Same reaction when Daddy tries. Every. Night.

I'm starting to think there is something wrong with her.

How can I be a gentle mama when we have these fights every night?

[naupakamama]

No advice but wanted to send a your way.

[SandyBeachBums]

How about a weighted blanket? Have you tried a gf/cf diet for yourself and DD?

[yarngoddess]

What about swaddleing her, like a small baby? My Oldest has sensory issues (we now know) and when he was little I had to wrap him up like a burrito, so that he couldn't move. That and tracing his face after that was all that worked on him for a long time.

I also learned with the other kids that Prevacid didn't work on them, made them more agressive and hyper. I thought the medication was working on their reflux it actually wasn't controlling it. I have better luck with colic tablets by hylands and gripe water by little tummies (the other big brand didn't work well on my kids- go figue) both of those remedies can be taken with prevacid btw.

I am interested in seeing what other mom's have to say...
Do you babywear? Have you tried to get her to sleep in a back pack carrier...like a www.thekoreanbaby.blogspot.com velcro carrier? Just throwing stuff out there.....

[Juvysen]

My oldest was like this for a while. There was just too much going on, i guess, in her brain. She outgrew it in a few months.

[Maluhia]

Are you sure that the prevacid is at the right dose?
Have you talked to a therapist about this behavior?
How about her diet? Feingold maybe?

ETA: when DD was overtired, overhwelmed we've wrapped her in a towel sort of like a burrito baby...it helped her calm down and we sang softly in her ear even if she was tantruming.

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by justKate

My 10 month old DD will ONLY go to sleep if I physically restrain her.

We nurse side-lying, then when she pops off I cuddle her (usually facing me or on her back) and hold her arms down against her chest. She screams. Then she goes to sleep. I hate it but nothing else works.

She will not nurse to sleep. She will finish eating and then scream to get up. While screaming she kicks, bites, scratches, smacks, pulls hair, flips, arches her back. She draws blood with her fingernails, on both of us. Will not let you hold/rock/bounce her. Will only stop screaming and fighting if you hold her upright facing out. This can go on for HOURS.

She takes prevacid for reflux so I don't think it's acid. No ear infections. No teeth coming in. We do very little dairy or soy. Definitely over-tired but I cannot get her to sleep, ever. If I set her down to let her play more she will crawl directly in to a wall, wallop her head, then lay down and scream and throw herself around on the floor. Same reaction when Daddy tries. Every. Night.

I'm starting to think there is something wrong with her.

How can I be a gentle mama when we have these fights every night?

Have you been over to the allergy forum? If your DD has food sensitivities even just a little gluten, soy or dairy can set her off. I'm not saying she has food allergys but by her behavior and the fact she has reflux at 10 months old still doesn't sound "normal" to me. I would definitely check the allergy forum! Does she have any other symptoms such as rashes, constipation, etc???

[Jackies Ladybug]

i had similar difficulties with my daughter at 10 months, i swaddled her in a tight blanket and rocked her to sleep like a bitty baby.
it was the only thing to do to keep from getting a black eye and staying up until 4 am.
she grew out of it, now at 13 months she goes to sleep pretty peacefully again.

[justKate]

What about swaddleing her, like a small baby? My Oldest has sensory issues (we now know) and when he was little I had to wrap him up like a burrito, so that he couldn't move.

Swaddling seems really violent--as bad as holding her down by the way she protests. And now that she's bigger its hard to keep her contained. But I might try a light towel...

Do you babywear?

She loves the Ergo but will only tolerate riding on front. This keeps her calm, but she won't sleep in it. When she gets sleepy she starts arching and trying to throw herself out of it; screaming, scratching my face, etc.

Are you sure that the prevacid is at the right dose?
Have you talked to a therapist about this behavior?
How about her diet? Feingold maybe?

I'm not sure. Her low dose of prevacid keeps the symptoms away, but I haven't taken her to the pediatric GI because honestly I don't like subjecting her to doctors' visits (she was a NICU baby due to reflux/gas and suspected NEC--which resolved, thank God). The ped isn't concerned (surprise surprise) and I haven't taken her to the homeopath. What's Feingold?

Originally Posted by mom61508

Have you been over to the allergy forum? If your DD has food sensitivities even just a little gluten, soy or dairy can set her off. I'm not saying she has food allergys but by her behavior and the fact she has reflux at 10 months old still doesn't sound "normal" to me. I would definitely check the allergy forum! Does she have any other symptoms such as rashes, constipation, etc???

No rashes, no constipation. When I first cut back on dairy I ate more soy, and she really reacted to that: explosive, loose green poop with chunks, stomach cramps, fussiness. But I still eat "hidden" soy and dairy, so I guess that could be causing the problem. Maybe an elimination diet is in order? Ugh! What are other symptoms of food sensitivities?

[Maluhia]

Feingold is a diet plan that takes out all additives that cause a lot of behavior issues for some children

[LemonPie]

We had to do this with one of my kids too. . . she'd fight going to sleep, but DH would put her against his chest, pop a binky in her mouth and sort of hold her head down and the binky in at the same time while holding her arms down with his other arm. No joke, it was like her 'off' switch. . . she'd just immediately give in and close her eyes. It was around the time she learned to crawl and walk (the one begat the other in rapid succession) and she's just naturally a very busy kid. I think she just needed the help turning her brain off for the night.

Don't be too hard on yourself mama. . . it's not like you're leaving her in a crib to cry for hours and hours. You're still parenting her to sleep in a way that works.

[maeby]

please dont think of swaddling as violent because it could really be just what she needs! i swaddled my son from birth to 11 months and my ped swaddled her daughter almost to 18mos! developmentally they are going through and processing SOOOO much! swaddling helps to calm their bodies and minds and relax. i would swaddle my son, lay next to him and pat his belly sing a song or shush him and within 5 minutes he would be out. without the swaddle he would've never gone to sleep. he loved being swaddled. it was such relief for him. like "thanks mama, i just cant seem to control my body right now so it feels really good to be held still."

[blessedwithboys]

no judgment from me mama, just empathy and a btdt. both of my kiddos had/have sensory issues. didnt know it when my now 15yo ds was a lil one but even after therapy my now 7.5yo ds still sometimes needs a firm hand holding him down to settle. he never liked a weighted blanket, though i thought it was great idea. he also likes deep and i mean deep stim on his skull. compared to that, trust me, swaddling an older infant is far from violent. LOL

[JL83]

We swaddled DD until almost 12 months. Then we did it only while she was falling asleep and released it, it took just over a month to transition her from swaddled to sleep to the sling.

But she could not stop moving long enough to fall asleep.

[Harmony08]

Originally Posted by kristinekristine

please dont think of swaddling as violent because it could really be just what she needs! i swaddled my son from birth to 11 months and my ped swaddled her daughter almost to 18mos! developmentally they are going through and processing SOOOO much! swaddling helps to calm their bodies and minds and relax. i would swaddle my son, lay next to him and pat his belly sing a song or shush him and within 5 minutes he would be out. without the swaddle he would've never gone to sleep. he loved being swaddled. it was such relief for him. like "thanks mama, i just cant seem to control my body right now so it feels really good to be held still."

I haven't ever thought of swaddling as violent in any way. It is gently wrapping your baby. Nothing sinister. It makes them feel safe and secure. Your daughter seems to need that kind of feeling in order to fall asleep. I always swaddled my son and nursed him sidelying. Out like a light. He never stayed asleep unswaddled.

[justKate]

Originally Posted by kristinekristine

please dont think of swaddling as violent because it could really be just what she needs! i swaddled my son from birth to 11 months and my ped swaddled her daughter almost to 18mos! developmentally they are going through and processing SOOOO much! swaddling helps to calm their bodies and minds and relax. i would swaddle my son, lay next to him and pat his belly sing a song or shush him and within 5 minutes he would be out. without the swaddle he would've never gone to sleep. he loved being swaddled. it was such relief for him. like "thanks mama, i just cant seem to control my body right now so it feels really good to be held still."

That makes sense. She really can't control herself--she just HAS to move. So what do you use to swaddle them when they get bigger? Just a bigger blanket?

I just think of swaddling (and holding her down) as violent because of the way she protests it--she really acts like we're killing her. With tears and everything. Its awful.

[desertpenguin]

my 2 cents, it's diet related. my boys have food intolerances and they will definitely cause sleep and behavioral issues in them, and they had/have reflux issues when they consume anything that they are intolerant to, or get it via my breastmilk. i think the prevacid for the reflux is just a band aid for the situation and it would be good to go on an elimination diet. they suck, but the ladies over there in the allergy forum are very smart and just because you have to eliminate foods now doesn't necessarily mean you will never get them back. anyhow, good luck! hope you figure out a workable solution!

[Harmony08]

Originally Posted by justKate

That makes sense. She really can't control herself--she just HAS to move. So what do you use to swaddle them when they get bigger? Just a bigger blanket?

I just think of swaddling (and holding her down) as violent because of the way she protests it--she really acts like we're killing her. With tears and everything. Its awful.

At that age we used the large swaddlemes. I have heard that miracle blanket is better but have no experience with it. My son would cry sometimes when we swaddled him but he was always already tired and upset about the diaper change anyway. we thought of swaddling as the way to calm him down. Once he started to nurse he was fine. When he would wake up swaddled he was fine with it. Sometimes he wouldn't fall asleep right away after nursing so we would just cuddle awhile while he was swaddled . so I think for him the crying was more just general overtired upset than swaddle anger.

[JudiAU]

Originally Posted by LemonPie

You're still parenting her to sleep in a way that works.

I don't have any advice. Hugs. But I just wanted to agree with the above...

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by justKate

Swaddling seems really violent--as bad as holding her down by the way she protests. And now that she's bigger its hard to keep her contained. But I might try a light towel...

She loves the Ergo but will only tolerate riding on front. This keeps her calm, but she won't sleep in it. When she gets sleepy she starts arching and trying to throw herself out of it; screaming, scratching my face, etc.



I'm not sure. Her low dose of prevacid keeps the symptoms away, but I haven't taken her to the pediatric GI because honestly I don't like subjecting her to doctors' visits (she was a NICU baby due to reflux/gas and suspected NEC--which resolved, thank God). The ped isn't concerned (surprise surprise) and I haven't taken her to the homeopath. What's Feingold?



No rashes, no constipation. When I first cut back on dairy I ate more soy, and she really reacted to that: explosive, loose green poop with chunks, stomach cramps, fussiness. But I still eat "hidden" soy and dairy, so I guess that could be causing the problem. Maybe an elimination diet is in order? Ugh! What are other symptoms of food sensitivities?

Ohhhh Soy is terrible !!! I don't mean that in a judge mental way I just know how bad it is for EVERYONE!!! Are you eating processed foods with a lot of additives/preservatives? Behavioral problems can also be a symptom of food sensitivities. There are so many symptoms and every child reacts differently. Does she have allergy shiners? Dark around the eyes or puffiness?? I'm not an expert but went through this a few months ago so I hope you check the allergy forum because the mamas on there are very knowledgeable.