advice for staying w/ non-cosleeping family at holidays?

[csteely]

We are traveling with my 7 month old dd to the east coast to visit both sides of the family. We cosleep and enjoy it, as does our daughter, but both my dh and I are steeling ourselves for dealing with family members who may not understand or want to support us.

I'm not worried about the part of the night when we're in there with her, because the door will be closed but my little girl still will not sleep on her own for any length of time. We have a pack n play that we've been trying to get her to sleep in for the first part of the night, and she might stay in there at most for 15-30 mins. Our pattern, for the first couple of hours of sleep (7-9pm) is that I nurse her to sleep, and then try to get her down for the first hour or so. Then dh takes over so I can get a break until I'm ready to take her to bed with me. [when we get back, we plan to transition to a mattress on the floor/babyproof her room setup, but not before the holidays] I have no idea what the 3 hour time change will do, to top it off.

How do we continue this routine when we're surrounded by family? (at one place, we'll be staying with 8 other adults and 5 other kids!) We've got the only baby, so we'll be under a microscope! Any advice?? Lessons learned?

Thanks!

[Maluhia]

I'd bet they will all be busy with their own children.

If they ask, say you are bedsharing because all the extra commotion is bothering your baby. That way they leave you alone about it as your own long-term choice and you do in the moment what works.

Or tell them the truth with a quick "and pass the gravy" as in - this is NOT up for discussion

[SeekingJoy]

With a LO that young and that many people, they might not even notice if you don't make a big deal of it. For naps, you can always say you wanted to lay down and read/nap/knit/whatever for a few min while the baby naps.

[calebsmommy25]

Originally Posted by Maluhia

I'd bet they will all be busy with their own children.

If they ask, say you are bedsharing because all the extra commotion is bothering your baby. That way they leave you alone about it as your own long-term choice and you do in the moment what works.

Or tell them the truth with a quick "and pass the gravy" as in - this is NOT up for discussion

I agree with this. When I was reading I was thinking this exact thing. With a little one, a time change, different place and all of the commotion of the holidays it would make sense your little one would want to cuddle up close to mommy and daddy.

I don't think there is any need to go into what you do at home, or what your future plans are with your baby, if you don't want to. If they ask about how she sleeps or if she sleeps through the night, just say she sleeps well at home.

If it does come up, and you do want to discuss, have some good co-sleeping facts and stats on hand. Give them something to think about.

[csteely]

Thanks all! Great suggestions... I'm working on my "this is NOT up for discussion" face or even better, my level of confidence about it, which would have been difficult just a few months ago.

I also got Dr. Jay Gordon's book and am making my husband read the chapter on dealing with nosy busybodies.

[lifeguard]

Will baby sleep on you with others around? At that age ds would sleep on me anywhere so I would just sling him & continue on until I was ready for bed. I would make no mention of where dc is actually spending the night. If they offer a crib/playpen - simply "Ok, thanks". They don't need to know it's not being used.

[TulsiLeaf]

it's none of their business, so don't bring it up.

And if they bring it up, look at them dead in the face and tell them "thank you, i will take that under advisement"

[LemonPie]

Originally Posted by lifeguard

Will baby sleep on you with others around? At that age ds would sleep on me anywhere so I would just sling him & continue on until I was ready for bed. I would make no mention of where dc is actually spending the night. If they offer a crib/playpen - simply "Ok, thanks". They don't need to know it's not being used.

Yup.

[jocelyndale]

When my MiL wanted to set up a nursery, I suggested she buy herself a nice, new bed and move her old bed (queen) into the guest room where we sleep (full bed). She got the picture.

When we sleep there, DH sleeps on an inflatable airbed next to the full-size bed

At 7mo, though, my kiddo would sleep on me or DH no matter where we were or what we were doing, so we just kept him with us until we wanted/needed to go to bed/elsewhere. At 2.5y, he'll still sleep through some hubbub, so if he nurses down to sleep in the early evening, we just lay him on the couch and keep chatting, drinking wine, or watching movies with folks.

[Gentle~Mommy :)]

Can you stay at a local hotel/motel instead?