Thinkin bout a change...

[1jooj]

Hey ladies...some of you might know me--or at least know that right now I am working PT...I picked up this (great) job opportunity when ds was 1.5yo. In the start, I worked 30+ hrs/week in the office and my dsister cared for ds.

In the meantime, her own children have grown and she has a lot more responsibilities with them, so her availability is limited. I also had another child, so I now have a small infant and a soon-to-be 3yo. I work fewer total hours currently (15/week if I am lucky), and about half of that time is from home, telecommuting. I bring itsy baby to work with me now, and we are trying to get into a groove. It's tough.

Dd often wants to nurse the entire time at the office, so I have to work with my office locked. I am totally self-conscious when she even whimpers. I sling her, but I still am much slower and less productive than I am used to being. My sister's is out of the way, so it takes me about 45 min to get to work, and I can really only work 3 hrs at a shot before dd has had enough.

And all of this is for about HALF of what I SHOULD be getting paid for the work. The company *really* cannot pay me more, and I consider the telecommute option a HUGE benefit...

OK. So, now I am looking at a potential opportunity that would pay what the work is worth. But...

It's full time. I'd have to find a new care provider, and for both infant and toddler, full time. This scares me. I'd also have to pump a lot.

Someone tell me it can work out well--I know ds is ready for full time care. He LOVES "school" activities and talks all the time about going to school. But dd is so little...how do you encourage the teensy one to sleep through most of that time and reverse cycle?? Are your partners supportive of your choice to work outside the home? We could survive without my working, but honestly, if I can establish myself in this position, I know it would be the best long run choice for our family.

Sorry to ramble...so much goes into the choice...

[Marlena]

I hear you re the job opportunity and making things better in the long run. For me, it would be contingent largely on being able to get in-home, personal childcare for your baby (it sounds like you're comfortable that your ds is ready for preschool). I don't have the links, but a number of studies have shown that infants in daycare do significantly worse on certain developmental and emotional markers than do children given one-on-one care or care by a parent or relative.

Also, will you have the option to telecommute in the proposed new position? If so, then if you can find in-home care, it's even better, as you'll be able to nurse your daughter but still get work done.

Good luck!

[Patchy Dragon]

Originally posted by Marlena

Also, will you have the option to telecommute in the proposed new position? If so, then if you can find in-home care, it's even better, as you'll be able to nurse your daughter but still get work done.

This sounds like an ideal solution. If not, maybe try interviewing some in home daycare providers. Just make sure they are state certified and CPR qualified.

[HollyBearsMom]

You can make it work! It would be great if you keep teleocommuting but even if you can't you still find a balance.

I work FT and have no option to tele-commute. I was always very nervous about day care even tho I know lots of mama's who are very happy with them. We ended up having someone who comes to our home. To me it was the best of both worlds. I didn't have to rush around in the AM getting organized. I could take my time and let my son nurse at his own pace. At night we could just relax and bond instead of worrying about getting meals made, bags packed etc. I knew that my son was being fed on demand and that my EBM was being handled correctly. I knew that she only had to focus on my son and not split herself between 3 or 4. I knew he would not be left to cry because his DCP was busy with another crying baby.

All that being said if you can find a place or a person that you love and trust you will be able to make it work.

[1jooj]

I have put more thought and work into this change I am trying to start--and here is where I am now:

The telecommute would not be an option first off. This I know. However, I have had some good talks with dh. He has offered to switch to a different shift if I find work that financially justifies it. This would mean finding childcare to cover the shift overlap--less than 2 hours a day, most likely.

I am also considering talking with my current boss to see what he CAN do to make it worth it for me to stay. We'll see. If he could somehow find the $$ to keep me and offer me FT, then I would not need childcare at all.

Like I said, we'll see. I just want to be proactive, and not wait until it's a crisis.

Wish us luck!

[audiomama]

If you do have to take your child to daycare (for any amount of time), help her by:
1. establishing cues/routine so she knows what to expect
2. starting her in the daycare _before_ you really have to leave her there

My daughter let me know that she loved going to daycare at 6 months because I would bring out her lunchbox before we went, and once she saw the lunchbox (her cue) she would be perfectly happy to get into the car seat. Without the lunchbox, she would cry whenever we put her into the car.

Also, when I was able to adjust to the stress of "leaving my baby!" without also adjusting to the stress of a new job, I was able to be more calm and observant so I could be sure that I was meeting her needs.

Having a child in daycare is not easy, though. There are a lot of stresses no one warns you about! Be prepared, and always plan a lot more time than you think you need... for everything!

Kairn