5 month old wakes 5-6 times/night and bad naps.. help!

[clairelamar]

Hi Mamas,

I'm sure this will sound like a lot of other posts... my DD is 5 1/2 months old and a high needs baby... has never been a "good" sleeper (only sleeps in 2hr chunks, often is waking as frequently as every hour still) at night and her naps tend to be 10 minutes long as well... it's driving me crazy and I'm on burnout. When I put her down for the evening she continually wakes up every 30 minutes or so until my partner and I are in bed with her, and she only sleeps longer chunks if one of us is holding her, which hurts my back.. and even then like I say after 1-2 hours she gets very wiggly and then wakes up all the way unless I nurse her. So I nurse her like 6 times a night right now. Ack. My partner can sometimes rock her back to sleep too but not always.

I would love to help her develop some self-soothing skills, so I'm looking for ideas around this (she doesn't take a pacifier).. Like should I rock her with a comfort object or something so she has other things that help her stay asleep/fall back asleep? Or when she wakes should I just lay with her and pat her/snuggle her even if she starts crying? Other thoughts on things that influence a child's ability to sleep longer chunks? Any advice would be much much appreciated.

Thanks!
Claire

[ssh]

I know you don't want to hear this, but your DDs sleep patterns sound normal. My was still nursing every couple of hours at that age. We co slept so she'd wiggle, I'd nurse her, we'd both go back to sleep. It got abit less around 8 months or so, but she didn't nurse less than 4 times a night until most of her teeth came in. She woke up often if we weren't in bed until abit after turning two. She does sleep a solid 10 hours straight now at 4 and has been for about a year.

Small mammals don't self sooth. They sleep next to mama and nurse several times during their sleep cycle. You child will sleep in larger chunks when she's biologically and developmentally ready to.

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by clairelamar

Hi Mamas,

I'm sure this will sound like a lot of other posts... my DD is 5 1/2 months old and a high needs baby... has never been a "good" sleeper (only sleeps in 2hr chunks, often is waking as frequently as every hour still) at night and her naps tend to be 10 minutes long as well... it's driving me crazy and I'm on burnout. When I put her down for the evening she continually wakes up every 30 minutes or so until my partner and I are in bed with her, and she only sleeps longer chunks if one of us is holding her, which hurts my back.. and even then like I say after 1-2 hours she gets very wiggly and then wakes up all the way unless I nurse her. So I nurse her like 6 times a night right now. Ack. My partner can sometimes rock her back to sleep too but not always.

I would love to help her develop some self-soothing skills, so I'm looking for ideas around this (she doesn't take a pacifier).. Like should I rock her with a comfort object or something so she has other things that help her stay asleep/fall back asleep? Or when she wakes should I just lay with her and pat her/snuggle her even if she starts crying? Other thoughts on things that influence a child's ability to sleep longer chunks? Any advice would be much much appreciated.

Thanks!
Claire

First of all I know how you feel..it's so hard being that tired. You really don't know what tired is till you have a baby!!! But I agree with PP her sleeping sounds totally normal. DD was the same way! Do you sleep with her? I would side nurse DD in the middle of the night when she would wake that would help her go back to sleep a lot faster. DD also loved a swing for awhile. I would nurse her then put her to sleep in there for about 2 months then when she would wake she would be in bed with us.

She will be a better sleeper. DD started sleeping better around 10 months then was waking alot again till I night weaned her at 13 months then she slept through the night until about 17 months old. Then she started waking again3-4 times a night. Which I to think is normal. They go through alot with teething, making sure mommy is still near by etc.

DD napped better at that age when I could nurse her and let her fall asleep on me. I would read a book or get on the laptop while she slept on me. Now she is to big to do that

[kdescalzi]

First of all, I am right there with you. I have a 6mo old who wakes about 6 times a night to nurse. She needs to have my nipple in her mouth...she will not take a paci. I have tried the whole patting, shushing, lovey thing but when she wakes she wants boob...nothing else! I second co-sleeping because I at least don't have to fully wake up. My back hurts and I hate that I can never sleep on my belly but I know her sleep habits are normal. I suggest wearing her for her naps to see if she sleeps longer or try a swing. I know how tired you are but hang in there. Try laying with her for a nap and maybe she will sleep longer next to you nursing and then you can sleep too. If you can manage that do it everyday!!!

[csteely]

Chiming in - it sounds like my situation with my 7 mo DD. I second what others have said - cosleeping has saved my sanity. It's definitely a commitment (I hear ya on missing the belly sleep!) but I feel like it's worth it for the sweet happy baby we have.

My only suggestion for the nighttime is what we have found to work for us (again, not ideal, but works for now!) for the early evening. I nurse DD to sleep and take the first "shift" (holding her asleep - sometimes she'll let me put her down, sometimes not), then my husband takes over so I can get a break, and then she goes to bed with me. What has helped us both with that time is to use an ipod or mp3 player to listen to music (I listen to my favorite podcasts) while holding DD - it helps me feel like I'm not missing out on my relaxation time! Also, can you find a way to really prop yourself up while holding her? No need to strain your back!

One other thing we're getting ready to try (after the holidays!) is a mattress on the floor in her room (which will be babyproofed). I'm hoping that will help her fall asleep and stay asleep the first part of the night.

Good luck!

[clairelamar]

Thanks everyone! Yes we cosleep and I side-nurse her as we sleep. It's good to hear that things might change sometime in the next 4 months or so... let's hope! She does sometimes nap better during the day if I lay with her, but not always. And she will not sleep in the car, stroller or when I wear her . Sigh. Basically it sounds like y'all are saying I should trust her need to nurse frequently and that she will develop her self soothing skills in due time when she's ready.

[csteely]

Well, and don't forget to take care of yourself, too! If it's really making you crazy, there may be gentle ways of nudging her a certain way, but if you're committed to non-CIO or more gentle transitions, things will take time. So yes, I'm having faith that my DD will develop her soothing skills when she's ready, but I'm doing what I can to keep my sanity in the meantime!

[gbutterflykissesm]

My DS was a fussy, high needs baby with the same problem. Until he was about 5 1/2 months old he woke every 1.5 to 2 hrs at night until 3AM, then every 30 -15 minutes. He didn't always want to nurse, and had trouble sleeping if he wasn't moving, so there was a lot of exercise ball bouncing in the wee hours. Everyone said it wouldn't last forever, and this angered me and I didn't believe them, until...

it abruptly improved. I can't say what happened except I 1). started him on probiotics 2). started giving him coccyntal for his gas pains and 3). he began rolling over in both directions, so he could make himself comfortable. Honestly, I think it was a combo of the probiotics, his maturing digestive system, and the fact that he could get in whatever position he wanted to. (I think a lot of his wakeups were due to tummy and gas pain).

Now, at 6.5 months old, he falls asleep without a peep (after nursing) and wakes 1-2 times a night, nurses, and falls back asleep. I did start nursing him with a lovey (stuffed animal) which he sleeps with as well. He sucks on that sometimes while sleeping... he gets angry if I try to nurse him when he's full and won't take a paci, so I think this helped, in my scenario.

He is still a pretty bad napper. He used to only nap for 20 mins at a time, and now will sleep for 30-45 mins on average, 3 times a day. We swaddle him and he sleeps in an arm's reach coccoon, and swaying and bouncing him in that is the only way he will get to sleep. we can bounce him on an exercise ball while swaddled, but it takes longer and is killing my back, and he usually wakes as soon as we stop or set him down. The cocoon was a real life saver, and I recommend it for naps. Otherwise, if you use a wrap, you can put her in the wrap until she falls asleep and then recline on a comfy chair and get some sleep yourself.

And it's true... this really will not last forever!! I know it doesn't seem like that now when you're hallucinating from lack of sleep, but it will. Hang in there.

[moongloe]

we are dealing with food allergies/sensitivities in my now 4.5mo. in doing the research we discovered that 2 symptoms of food issues are poor sleeping at night, and catnapping in the day; both of which he had.

in the course of removing problem foods from my diet, his sleep has improved. he was napping in 15 minute spurts, and waking every 1-1.5 hours at night. now his naps are 1-2 hours, and his nights are 2-3 hours.

the other symptoms are improving/going away as well, so i know we're on the right track.

i don't know if this is what's happening with your lo, but it may be worth looking into.

whatever the reason, i hope it gets better soon for you.