Why do we forget our own births??

[ShadowFox]

Discuss

[kriket]

Do we? I think fondly of my birth of my DS Sure there were some parts that weren't ideal. Overall however I like to think back on the day he was born!

[Collinsky]

If you're talking about why we don't recall our own births, from what I understand, there are two kinds of memory (an oversimplification, I'm sure!) - explicit memory is the one we think of as remembering; it's the conscious recollection of an event, emotion, etc. The other is implicit memory, and this is the kind of memory that is predominant in infancy. Explicit memory comes to the fore gradually around the age 3 (give or take). The "memories" from the infancy/toddler years - including birth - are not conscious recollections, there is no experience of remembering. They are stored in a different way, in a different part of the brain - in some ways, they are more an inherent part of who you are/become than the events you can recall. I read a quote (don't remember the source) that implicit memories are known without being thought.

[laohaire]

Yeah, I was going to say that it seems like memories shift when we become verbal. Our brains work differently when we are verbal; we literally think in words. So the parts of our brains that store pre-verbal memories are not accessed as much and get "lost" when the paths are not used enough.

From what I understand, those memories are still there, though. But most of us can't call them up. Some of us can. (I can't.)

All the same... I think those memories still affect who we are even if we can't call them up. They are part of our imprinting. Trauma, if any, affects us throughout our lives.

[*MamaJen*]

Do you mean our births our the births of our children?

[ShadowFox]

I mean your OWN birth.
How you came into this world.
Sorry for the confusion.
I'm reading a book my midwife gave me about twins and there are some stories in there about toddlers remembering being in the womb together and it made me wonder why and how do we forget??

[Ruthla]

I think it has to do with the way memory works. I can think back to 1980, when I was 7/8, and the date itself brings back memories. I can remember who my 2nd and 3rd grade teachers were, my friends in 2nd grade, and the fact that I didn't have any friends in 3rd grade. I can look up what TV shows were on the air, and piece together "oh, yeah, I must have been 8 when my brother and I used to fight over whether or not we'd watch that show."

As a newborn, infant, toddler, and preschooler, I thought of the world differently. I didn't know what the year was, and the triggers for memories are harder to obtain. Maybe I'd recall a memory if I crawled on the floor and looked up at my Mom standing there in certain light. But that's not likely to happen: my Mom doesn't look the same way she did then, I'm not going to crawl on the floor by her feet, and anyway we're not in the same house (with the same furniture and lamps etc), I'm not going to smell the scent of my older brother's wet disposable diaper while looking up at Mom, etc.

Those baby memories are there, locked away, but I have no way to access them right now.

[JorgieGirl]

I always remember fondly the story of my birth that my mom tells me. I think about it at least once a year. lol. Why I can't really remember it is because I was barely a fetus/baby when it happened and that's a really long time ago.

[soso-lynn]

hum, because it is not physically possible to have conscious memories at that point...

[Freud]

Originally Posted by soso-lynn

hum, because it is not physically possible to have conscious memories at that point...

Exactly.

[Theia]

I've also heard it suggested that the trip through the birth canal is traumatic and so maybe our minds evolved so as to not be able to actively remember/recall that time as a protection.

I'm in the camp that the memories are there, just not accessible for most of us (me included). And I think as we get older, go from pre-verbal to verbal those types of memories become harder to access. There weren't any words to describe that time for us, so when we think in words, what can we use to bring those memories forward? As time passes, environment changes and synaptic connections are lost. An infant/childs brain goes through several growth explosions and pruning periods wrt synaptic connections. Memories not accessed lose the connection. Not sure myself if it's because of the trauma or simple lack of remembering that causes us to not remember. But that's my 2cents.

[kriket]

Originally Posted by soso-lynn

hum, because it is not physically possible to have conscious memories at that point...

Yeah, And I can't remember yesterday, let alone 25 years ago!

[laohaire]

Hmm... how is it physically possible to NOT be conscious on the day of your birth - unless of course there were serious complications.

I know DD at least was fully conscious.

[April422]

Originally Posted by laohaire

Hmm... how is it physically possible to NOT be conscious on the day of your birth - unless of course there were serious complications.

I know DD at least was fully conscious.

There's a difference between being conscious and conscious memory.

[WindyCityMom]

I'm not exactly sure, but I was a c/s, so I'm kind of glad I don't remember.

I DO however have this strange blurry memory (always have had this) of a bright overhead light and 4 or 5 doctors leaning over me. Where I got this memory is beyond me- I think my mind created this image during my childhood, or I made it up or something. But it has always been in my mind. I've never once had a surgery or invasive medical procedure that would involve that situation- so I have to wonder. Don't think it's possible- but have to wonder!

[mommyfied]

WindyCity... I have a picture in my mind of my own birth, too, but I think it is based on what my mom told me since I don't have any other memories from infanthood. I do have some relatively early memories but not that early!

[thefreckledmama]

I don't think there's any big ol' philosophical or biological reason why I am unable to recall my own birth. I have very few, if any, memories of my life before the age of 3 or so. I think if anything it has to do with cognitive ability, and the fact that understanding what and who are around us would make a huge difference in how we were able to process life in order to store experiences in our memory. I think that verbal ability might have a lot to do with that.

[gcgirl]

If I'm remembering my psych and neurobiology classes correctly, the brain structures that record conscious memory are not fully developed at that point. Probably both a biological and experiential interplay at work.

[Marylizah]

I've told this story before (probably even in this forum...) but I'll tell it again.

FTR, I have no memories whatsoever of anything before about age three.

Anyway, I was pregnant with DS, and I kept having this obsessive, overwhelming fear. I was afraid I would be separated from the baby after birth. And when I say afraid, I mean, I was crying about this on a daily basis. I would pester DH endlessly-- reminding him that if something happened and we had to be separated he HAD to stay with the baby. I made him promise every day, for months! It got to be a little crazy, and I stopped feeling like it was simply some hormonal thing.

So I was talking about this fear with my mom on the phone one day. She got really quiet and said, "Have I ever told you about your birth?". I realized that all I knew was that I was born by c-section. She then told me that by the time they gave her the section, it was 5 am and she had been in labor for hours. They put her under general anesthesia, I was born. My dad was out in the waiting room (this was before dads were super-involved, esp in c-sections!), and someone came out and told him he had a daughter. He went home.

My mom woke up at around 4 in the afternoon the next day. She didn't even know if she'd had a boy or a girl. My dad came later on, and I wasn't brought to her until still later. So we were separated for over 12 hrs right after birth.

Like I said, I have no conscious memories of this at all. But clearly there's some sort of emotional residue there. Once I heard that story, I felt much calmer, like I knew WHY I was panicking so much. DS' birth was lovely, we were never separated, and with this pregnancy I haven't felt at all worried about being kept away from my baby....

Just a little anecdote!