Negative Reactions

[physmom]

I have to admit since we started EC, DH and I have been singing it's praises from the roof tops. Ok, night time ECing is not my idea of fun, but the fact that we don't have to change poopie diapers anymore and go somedays without changing ANY diapers at all is pure heaven! Seriously, why doesn't everybody do this?

So, when one of the ladies from my pretty crunchy playgroup was talking about how she was struggling with her son during diaper changes I mentioned our success at ECing. She was actually really interested until another lady went on a rant about pushing kids when they are too young for it. I have to admit, I was really hurt.  I'm a strong believer in letting the child lead when it comes to hitting milestones so I wouldn't purposefully put off something until a prescribed age (like toilet training) if they were interested in it earlier. It really bothered me that she considered what I was doing pushing because I'm definitely NOT pushing! If anything, DD is way more on board about this whole EC thing than me, and she's the one who wants to do night time EC and is signaling to me when she wants to go potty. I just don't get why pooping/peeing in a diaper is a rite of passage for a kid and I should let DD enjoy that? (don't misunderstand, I think it's OK for people to use diapers, but I just can't believe it's enjoyable for the kid, KWIM?)

Then, a couple of days later we find out that the MIL and FIL have been bragging about DD's success at potty training to the extended family and we find out nobody believes us! It's NOT like I need their approval or anything but I am pretty offended that they would think we're lying about something like this. I just wish they would be happy for us and let us be or even just ignore MIL/FIL's new grandparent bragging. DD is their only grandkid, let them have some fun, right? Why does everyone have to be such a downer about these things?

Edited by physmom - 6/4/11 at 6:39am

[sapphire_chan]

____

Does that look like a green-eyed monster?

There's my guess as to what's going on.

[physmom]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

____

Does that look like a green-eyed monster?

There's my guess as to what's going on.

Thanks for the picture, I needed that laugh!

[isabchi]

You know that you're the righ thing for your LO. All that comments that's because they never know EC baby and they have no clue about EC.
Please, don't let that this commet interfere with you confident and your journey.

[sgmom]

Well it sure is a good thing that you're not potty training your kid!!!

A lot of people who think EC is cruel, view it as potty training, which EC is most certainly NOT. These people know nothing about EC, and probably think that you're forcing your baby to do something she's not ready for, and rewarding her somehow when she does what you want her to, or (maybe more importantly) punishing her when she doesn't. I usually tell them that I'm just teaching her to be aware of her body and developing a positive association with the potty so I don't have to undo diaper training later in life, and that I'm just building a better communication with my daughter. If I can tell by her body language that she's about to go in her diaper, why wouldn't I put her on a potty? What we do is Elimination Communication. What we do NOT do, is potty training.

I dislike the term "Infant Potty Training" for that exact reason.

[howeberry]

It's awesome that your in laws are all for it. When I told/showed my MIL, she became a bit of that green-eyed monster and said something like "with two kids a year apart, I wouldn't have had time for that." Like somehow me parenting different than her was an insult. Oye! My mom's comment, on the other hand, was more a "if only I'd known about that!"

Just like anything related to parenting, everyone has something to say. Just do what feels right, IMO, like not training your kid to sit in a wet or messy diaper. I sure wouldn't want to sit in that all day!

[emmaegbert]

hey physmom, I wonder if those same friends have changed their opinions now? Its been a while since your OP... I notice that when friends are fighting with an oppositional 2 or 3yo about toileting (or their child is retaining poops for days on end, etc), they suddenly are more interested in the longer but more gradual approach we've taken... when they saw how my DD acts like using the potty is just a normal thing (even though she still wets her pants from time to time, which is not something I feel bad about or like it disproves EC's effectiveness etc... actually I think it makes it seem more real to others). FWIW I don't really talk up "EC" or anything, just simply describe what we've done IF it comes up for some reason. That is actually how I was first introduced to it, not by someone with a label and a "method", just another mom whose daughter was about 18m old, describing cueing her daughter and offering her the toilet, and I just thought, WOW, that makes so much sense. And I'm bolder with each kid... started with DS at 15m, knowing nothing more than what another mom had mentioned and following my son's lead, w/ DD at 2.5m after actually reading up on EC, and I am planning to start from the get-go with #3 (our surprise baby! We get one more chance to try and get this stuff "right"...)

Edited by emmaegbert - 6/13/11 at 7:10am