Getting DS the HE(double hockey sticks) out of my bed!

[Italiamom]

I've got a super high needs kiddo, and he has been a sleep fighter from day one. Love him to death, but I digress...

The first 10 weeks of his life, he wouldn't sleep in his own bed (be it crib, pack-n-play, or co-sleeper). We finally figured out a routine that worked to get him out of our bed and into the cosleeper next to us, but at about 5.5 months he started having issues again. My husband and I were okay with splitting his frequent night wakings at first (every 45 minutes or so), but then DH went back to work at 6 months. Due an freakishly early start time to his day, DH started sleeping in the other room so that he could actually get a few hours sleep before work, and I brought DS into the big bed with me because I couldn't wake up/nurse/put baby back to bed every 45 minutes on my own.

This is now a huge problem. I don't want to sleep with my son. I know bedsharing works wonderfully for some. I love having DS in the same room, but having him in my bed is a nightmare for me. Every time I stir, DS wakes up and I have to re-nurse him back to sleep. My shoulders and back hurt constantly from contorting myself around DS so that he'll stay asleep. I can't toss and turn to get comfortable, which makes it really hard for me to fall asleep at all even when DS is actually sleeping. And I'd really like DH to come back into bed with me (the really important part). He's really warm, which is nice in the winter!

We've tried so many things. Swaddling, having DH put him down, no cry sleep solution. I really don't think it's food related, because he slept fine for months with no change in my diet. I'm running out of ideas and I'm really at a breaking point. I'm not getting good sleep AT ALL.

Basically, how did you get your LO out of your bed? What worked for you?

[desertpenguin]

have you tried putting another mattress next to yours, nursing him to sleep on that and then moving over to your mattress once he's asleep?

[noobmom]

Are you still using the co-sleeper or is DS too big for it now? How old is he now?

If DS is still young, he may still need to nurse at night, esp if he's too distracted or busy to nurse frequently during the day. And it's really hard to say who's waking who up--you may feel you wake DS up when you stir, but you may be moving in response to him waking to nurse.

I know your situation though--my DS was a major night nurser and it was torturous for months and months. And I say that as someone who loves to co-sleep. I think it really peaked at 18 months because it had been going on for so long and he was still nursing as frequently as a baby. But from that point on it slow got better and better and finally here at 3 yo he's sleeping in his own bed (in our room) for the most part. I have to say, I miss having him in bed with me, even if I am physically more comfortable.

I think desertpenguin had a good suggestion: put both beds in one room. Nurse DS on one and switch to the bed with your DH when DS is asleep. If you do need to go back to the first bed to nurse, you can go right back to sleep or wait for DS to fall asleep and move back with DH--whatever fits your need at that exact moment.

[Italiamom]

I don't think DS is really needing to nurse at night, so much as wanting to nurse at night. He is 8 months now, and a SUPER distracted day nurser, and we had thought that maybe that had become the issue. I offer the boob frequently (once an hourish), but in an effort to make sure he was meeting nutritional needs during the day (and not at night), I've started nursing him sidelying in the dark bedroom every 2ish hours so that he'll actually nurse. That has seemed to work to cut back on the distraction so that he'll eat fully during the day, but it hasn't seemed to help with his nighttime waking/nursing.

I had thought about getting the second mattress. Have you tried that desert penguin? Money is an issue in our house right now, but maybe I could find something on craigslist. A twin would be too small to use safely, and the bed DH is sleeping on is just an air mattress, which I'm not really comfortable with having DS sleep on. They have those big dimples, yk? I wouldn't want DS to get his little head down in one and suffocate. I suppose DH and I could sleep on the air mattress, but I don't sleep terribly well on it either. DH can sleep anywhere, but I'd really like to just sleep in my own bed!

[desertpenguin]

Originally Posted by Italiamom

I had thought about getting the second mattress. Have you tried that desert penguin? Money is an issue in our house right now, but maybe I could find something on craigslist. A twin would be too small to use safely, and the bed DH is sleeping on is just an air mattress, which I'm not really comfortable with having DS sleep on. They have those big dimples, yk? I wouldn't want DS to get his little head down in one and suffocate. I suppose DH and I could sleep on the air mattress, but I don't sleep terribly well on it either. DH can sleep anywhere, but I'd really like to just sleep in my own bed!

yeah, we used an air mattress for awhile but ds1 was much older. actually, come to think of it we all slept on an air mattress together for quite some time after we moved here to OKC, because i was determined to have a natural latex mattress. but ds1 was 14 mo+ at the time and i felt comfortable with it. i can't remember how old he was when we got our real mattress, but we got him a real twin mattress when he was 3 and we did the side car situation for awhile.

why would a twin not work? i imagine if you had both of the mattresses on the floor, with the twin mattress up against the wall and yours up against that one, that that would be sufficient. i don't have any advice on the night weaning though, i just kinda dealt with it til he night weaned on his own which was somewhere around 2.5 iirc (ack! lol).