I NEED to nightwean DD

[physmom]

I just can't do this anymore. I'm trying to work late tonight and write my thesis and DD keeps waking up. She's been up about 5 times already? I just can't do this anymore. It would be one thing if it was only 1-2 times per night. I'd be completely ok with that! But I can't work and I end up going to bed a lot later because she keeps waking up ALL THE TIME.

Now, once I go to bed she sleeps well and many times can sleep through the night, it's just before I go to bed that she has this issue. She's 11 months now and I was hoping to wait until a year but I just can't... I need to get this thesis done ASAP and this is the only time I have to write (once she's sleeping for the night)! The problem is, she refuses to be rocked to sleep... how else do I get her back to sleep? How long does nightweaning take? Is it possible to partially nightwean her (so she's only doing 1-2 sessions a night)?

[mom61508]

Originally Posted by physmom

I just can't do this anymore. I'm trying to work late tonight and write my thesis and DD keeps waking up. She's been up about 5 times already? I just can't do this anymore. It would be one thing if it was only 1-2 times per night. I'd be completely ok with that! But I can't work and I end up going to bed a lot later because she keeps waking up ALL THE TIME.

Now, once I go to bed she sleeps well and many times can sleep through the night, it's just before I go to bed that she has this issue. She's 11 months now and I was hoping to wait until a year but I just can't... I need to get this thesis done ASAP and this is the only time I have to write (once she's sleeping for the night)! The problem is, she refuses to be rocked to sleep... how else do I get her back to sleep? How long does nightweaning take? Is it possible to partially nightwean her (so she's only doing 1-2 sessions a night)?

DD was the same way! I NW her at 13 months and it took about 3 days. I used jay gordons method but tweaked a little for DD. If she's ready it won't take long. DD was ready to sleep through the night because she caught on so fast. We had 1 night of crying which I think is really good. I understand...I was there. DD is now 18 months but for the past months she has been night waking a lot so be prepared that it's the way it goes

[3girls1boy]

Is it possible for you to leave the house to work on your thesis? I was nervous when I started to work 2 nights a week when my oldest had been nursed to sleep every night for 20 months. I was surprised that my husband was able to get her to sleep, but when the baby knows that Mom's breasts aren't available, she will often accept some other kind of comfort.

[pbjmama]

If she sleeps through the night when you are close it isn't a nursing issue. I agree that leaving the house or letting your partner take over is best.

[spirit4ever]

Originally Posted by pbjmama

If she sleeps through the night when you are close it isn't a nursing issue. I agree that leaving the house or letting your partner take over is best.

yeah, i agree with this too. i just nightweaned my 16 month old, and she was ready (11pm - 5am), the jay gordon method. BUT she still needs to sleep right beside me.

[Baby_Cakes]

What about introducing a lovey?

Start using it with naps, get her attached to it. My DD has a stuffed Mickey that she needs to fall asleep, especially if I'm not home. She sleeps with it and when she does wake up in the night, she just picks him up, hugs him, and goes back to sleep. That might help.

We used Jay Gordon's method for nightweaning as well, and it was very effective and not hard at all. It took about 2 weeks and now DD wakes maybe once - and only needs Mickey really to fall back to sleep.

Good luck!

[crunchy_mommy]

Could you nurse & let her fall asleep in your lap while you work? I work every day with DS in my lap sleeping/nursing on and off, takes some maneuvering (I would on the bed with a laptop table but you could set up chairs and pillows to prop her up if you're at a desktop computer). It's so easy because he just sleeps & when he wakes I can just pop him back on without having to break concentration or anything.

[Halfasianmomma]

physmom...when I nightweaned my DD, she was about 14-15 months old, and IMO, she was very ready to STTN. I'd just been too chicken to try nightweaning, and the conflicts I'd been having with my then-husband kept me distracted. This might be a method for you to try since you only want to reduce the amount of nursing she does in the evening.

When you come up with a nightweaning plan, you can choose between which hours you'll refuse to nurse. I ended up choosing the hours between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m., thus giving me a good 6 hours of sleep.

The first two nights were tough; DD was *angry* that I would gently but consistently refuse to nurse her, just as Dr. Gordon described. There was much crying, screaming, kicking...I almost caved, but didn't. I tried everything to get her back to sleep...singing, rubbing her back, rocking her...the second night, I even just "shushed" her and when she became quiet, I turned my back to her and pretended to sleep. This is what ended up working for me. I think it took about a week and a half before things started to go smoothly. There were still occasional nights when she's wake at 2 or 3, but when she did, I'd tell her it was time for sleeping and used whatever worked to get her back to sleep.

Here's how our schedule ended up turning out:

• I'd nurse her to sleep in the rocking chair at 8ish, then put her to bed.
• I'd go to bed myself around 10ish or even 11, and would nurse her when I got in bed.
• DD would wake up RAVENOUS at 5 a.m., I'd nurse her and she's fall back asleep until around 7 a.m.

DD is now 17 months old, and her sleeping through the night has become longer and longer. She generally goes to sleep around 8ish or 9 at the latest and will STTN until 5 a.m. Then we nurse. `

Why not give Dr. Gordon's nightweaning technique a try, and see how it works? If it's an absolute total disaster, you can always ease off and try again when your baby is older...

[physmom]

Thanks everyone for the advice!!! I'm going to check out Dr. Gordon's method. I haven't heard of it yet but then again I'm new to a lot of this stuff. I had always hoped DD would do this on her own but it's clear that it's becoming too much for me and not making me a very good person or mother.

I've tried the working in bed thing to no avail. She wakes up just the same amount (if not more) because the light and noise really bother her.

I'm going to definitely try the lovey thing. We have a stuffed monkey that would be great for it. I tried at her nap today but everything is off today because she just picked up a cold (don't worry we'll wait until that's gone before we try and nightwean her!).

That does make me feel a bit better about the whole thing that you're saying she's probably ready for it because she sleeps so well when I'm there. I've been so conflicted about this but I just don't think I can go on like this anymore! I'd be really happy if she just woke up once or twice a night so here's hoping it works!!!!

[MissMommyNiceNice]

I just want to add, if she is waking up more than usual, it could be teething pain. If you suspect this, giving some ibouprofen before bed to treat the pain can really help keep her on her normal sleeping schedule. DS was a horrible teether & frequent night waking to comfort nurse was always a big red flag for me.

[junipermoon]

wow, we could be the same person. I'm also in grad school and my 13 month old wakes about 6 times between 10 pm and 3 am, which is when I need to work, then he is up happy skippy at 7:30 am regardless of how many times he woke/nursed the previous night. and I am up with him...

i can't leave him with my h for comforting bc my h moved out of the bed into his office after 2 nights--yup, 2 nights--when I first went back to school.

so i do work next to him and I just turn around and nurse him back to sleep when he wakes up--is it not impossibly hard to not fall asleep at that hour, 20 minutes into a nurse session, with the whole house sleeping and the bed so comfy and......

i have in desperation tried nursing him at the computer recently, and actually he seems to fall asleep more quickly--not so comfortable as lying down to nurse--so I am going to keep trying that--though I feel bad rousing him and all when he just wants to nurse without having to be pulled out from under the covers--on the other hand, i am so attached to staying in school, I don't see what choice I have.

personally, I can't see night weaning working for us. This baby loves nursing and wakes to nurse regardless of whether I am in bed next to him or not--though he does wake more when I am not next to him.

I've been taking an afternoon nap with baby to help jazz me up for night working hours...any chance you could try that?

good luck, keep me updated...

[physmom]

The teething pain is definitely contributing right now (another reason we're going to wait a week or two) but unfortunately she does this anyways even when she's not working on some new pearly whites.

junipermoon- ah, I completely understand the temptation to fall asleep with her! I don't always make it every night. I also try and take a nap with her sometimes but othertimes I, unfortunately, also need to use that time to work... I've tried nursing her on my lap but it doesn't work very well. She actually really prefers side-lying and normally refuses to nurse on my lap unless absolutely necessary, oh well..

It's a rough life being a stupid parent, but I'm really hoping it will end soon! (actually in the next 3 months when I hope to turn in my thesis!!!! )

[junipermoon]

a stupid parent? a tired student parent?

3 months away!! congrats.