anyone stopped swaddling cold turkey? (probably going to be long, a vent, please help!)

[Beauchamp]

We've been swaddling DD to sleep since day 1, and now she's six months old. Lately she's been crying (pretty hard) when we put the miracle blanket on her. I feel so bad watching her cry, she doesn't settle when she "sees the blanket" like the instructions say babies will. She usually calms down when we nurse to sleep (with Boppy, in a recliner), but lately it's been hit or miss. And these past few days, she's been pushing her legs, moving her arms, grunting, etc, in the swaddle, both before and after nursing.

I'm SO overwhelmed and worn out right now, and I just need something to WORK. DH is not being very supportive in general, and he's gone a lot on business trips. I am feeling alone and am having anxiety over taking care of DD. (No, I don't have friends or family nearby.)

Tonight I was just going to not swaddle her, and try something new. Of course, I expect it to blow up in my face and get zero sleep. On bad nights we co-sleep, and it gets us by...it kills my already bad back, the hip I am laying on, and my arm/shoulder. DD moves a lot, wakes up a lot, nurses a lot when we co-sleep, and yet when I can get her to sleep swaddled in her crib, she can (could?) often get a good long rest, say 10-ish to 5:30 or so.

Any help? I am desperate. sad. ready to give up. But mamas CAN'T give up, that's the thing about it. Last night I nursed her on both sides swaddled and in bed. She ended up falling asleep when I rubbed her belly in our bed.

I guess I just can't handle every. single. day. being SO up in the air. I need something to rely on, and my DH is not helping. He gives me like 15 seconds to talk and then just gets snippy, cuts me off telling me what "needs to happen"...

what am I asking for? I don't know. Thoughts, maybe?

[Louisep]

Hugs, it will get better. The positive is that when you can get her to sleep in her own space, she sleeps!

Sounds like she's ready for something new. DS has gone through about 5 transformations in how we get him to sleep. We quit swaddling cold turkey at 3.5 months because he was doing the same as your DD. We then moved him into a hammock which worked for 2 months. Then we had to switch it up again. Thus tine it was wearing him in a sling and walking. Then that stopped working and he needed bouncing in the sling. Finally at 9.5 months he started objecting to the sling and we started laying down with him, stroking and singing lullabies. It's been a long road to get here and he needed that much time. The point is, we've always had to change it up, i've always been terrified to try something new but mostly, the transitions aren't as bad as you think they'll be.

Do you have any thoughts what might work next with her?

[overseasmomma]

I went through this with Dd1 who is now 3 and sleeps through the night so don't give up-it will get better. We swaddled her until she started getting her arms loose and swatting herself in the face and waking herself up. We co-slept as well and it was hell. I had all sorts of back pain, hip pain, shoulder and elbow pain. I truly believe I was not meant to co-sleep and nurse as it was sooooo hard on my body even though I had all sorts of pillows to support me. Plus, I am a superlight sleeper and dd1 thrashed around alot without the swaddling and woke up to nurse every 2-3 hours -I'm amazed I survived her first year, so I totally feel your pain. If co-sleeping is too hard on you physically, then yes, it is probably time to look to other methods to help her sleep. I nightweaned dd at 1 year and our co-sleeping was much better.

With my twins (13 mos), my boy sleeps great in the crib without anyone bothering him, whereas my girl needs to have a warm body next to her. It seems like your dd likes the crib so is there anyway you can nurse her to sleep in your bed and then transition her?

I'm sorry your dh isn't more supportive. What are his suggestions? Can he take over some night shifts with baby while you catch up on sleep-maybe on weekends? Hang in there!

[rlmueller]

Yes

DS1 HATED swaddling and infant massage. And at 6 months I thought they were too old for swaddling anway due to there increased movement control.

Lovly sleeping thoughts for you both.

[sillysmile]

We swaddled dd for a LONG time using the miracle blanket.. ~7-8 months. We weaned her off of it slowly (over a few weeks), starting first by unswaddling the arms (but still wrapping the bottom tightly), then gradually loosening the bottom. Finally we switched to a sleep sack with her arms inside, and then a sleep sack worn normally (what she uses now). She also usually cried getting swaddled (which I HATED), but then always calmed right down. In retrospect I wish that we had weaned her from the swaddle a little earlier... it was hard but not as hard as I had feared.

[Kiwiontheloose]

Yes

we pretty much went cold turkey at about 4months. Occasionally used it for the next few weeks if she was restless, but by 5months we never used it.

The only reason we were able to do it though, is cos we discovered she slept better on her tummy (and obviously can't swaddle on tummy), and being in that position helped her stop thrashing her arms around. If she didn't settle on her tummy in the first few weeks of stopping swaddling, we would go back to swaddling, but put her on her side, and that worked pretty well.

I realise tummy sleeping carries its own risks, but as she was right there next to us (sidecar) I was happy with her sleeping on her tummy.

good luck.

[Beauchamp]

Originally Posted by Louisep

i've always been terrified to try something new but mostly, the transitions aren't as bad as you think they'll be.

Do you have any thoughts what might work next with her?

Yeah, I can't figure out why I am so anxious to try something. I guess it's the fear of lack of EVEN MORE sleep. As far as what might work next...who knows. We've had to co-sleep the last two nights and it's been really hard. I love cuddling with her when she first wakes up, but the whole night is hard. She went in her crib for two hours the first night, and then cried, so DH brought her to me and I just kept her for the night. Last night she cried immediately, because it's so. hard. to. move. her. She was deeply asleep, and I swear moving her is like moving a land mine. She is such a LIGHT SLEEPER!!! I am so jealous of people whose babies sleep through noise and I see parents slinging them over their shoulders and they stay asleep. *sigh* So this morning I am exhausted and sore. When she woke up (like every fifteen mins to an hour, last night in our bed, she wasn't waking up just rooting, she was waking up with a cry (with eyes closed) and wanting to nurse, sometimes for a few seconds to a few minutes. :yawning

Originally Posted by overseasmomma

We co-slept as well and it was hell. I had all sorts of back pain, hip pain, shoulder and elbow pain. I truly believe I was not meant to co-sleep and nurse as it was sooooo hard on my body even though I had all sorts of pillows to support me.

It seems like your dd likes the crib so is there anyway you can nurse her to sleep in your bed and then transition her?

I'm sorry your dh isn't more supportive. What are his suggestions? Can he take over some night shifts with baby while you catch up on sleep-maybe on weekends? Hang in there!

This (the pain part) is me exactly, too. But it is nice to wake up with her and cuddle. We are trying to do exactly that--nurse her and move her to the crib (see "land mine" note above)

DH doesn't really have suggestions. He just thinks I should nurse her to sleep and we should be able to move her to the crib. Easy as pie, right?!? And when I am up all night nursing, he rolls over and falls back asleep. So this setup isn't that bad for him, right? ugh. He moves her, and last night she woke up immediately. He let her cry in the crib before I snapped at him to pick her up. then he rocked her in his arms for five minutes and set her back down. Whaddaya know-- she woke up immediately. I told him he needs to hold/rock her until she is deeply asleep before putting her down. He snapped at me that he knew what he was doing. He did his routine once more and then gave up and brought her to me. Then he went to bed. *sigh*

Originally Posted by sillysmile

We weaned her off of it slowly (over a few weeks), starting first by unswaddling the arms (but still wrapping the bottom tightly), then gradually loosening the bottom. Finally we switched to a sleep sack with her arms inside, and then a sleep sack worn normally (what she uses now). She also usually cried getting swaddled (which I HATED), but then always calmed right down.

We tried to take just her legs out and she started pushing and grunting, moving her arms, hence our cold turkey approach, which I think is failing. She cries hard, too, when getting into the miracle blanket, which to me, doesn't seem like what Sears says about "letting sleep overtake the baby". Oh, I don't know what will work! I am so tired.

[Lilly Milly]

We quit swaddling when she outgrew the kiddopatamus thingy at about 2.5 months. She would work her arms out anyway (she's always soothed with hands) and so we just gave up trying to put them in. Switched to a blanket swaddle with arms out (first one arm out, then both) and to a sleepsack when the weather got colder and we started putting her in the crib (at about 4 months). The sleepsack was too hot for cosleeping.

It sounds like yours sleeps well in the crib so I would stick with that and she will get more used to the transition. I nurse mine in bed and put her right back in the crib. She used to wake up when moved but now she resettles in the crib even if she woke up (because now the crib is a normal place to be). Hang in there. It will get better with consistency! Ours just slept way better in the crib. I think there are plenty of babies (and moms) that do.

I would also suggest a set bedtime and routine if you don't have one. That has worked for us to get more consistency. BTW, our daughter protested/protests the swaddle, the sleepsack, pajamas, etc. but calms down after it's done and goes to sleep fine. I wouldn't worry about that but in your case it does sound like she is ready for a change. Personally, I would do it gradual, like PP suggested.

[rzberrymom]

I haven't read the other replies, but what about swaddling her with her arms out? Or with her feet out (i.e. don't use the bottom pocket on the Miracle Blanket)? If those don't work, how about wearing her down to sleep in a carrier? That was always the trick I turned to when NOTHING else would work to get my DD to sleep.

Transitions ARE hard. Seems like every time you get it figured out what will work, they switch things up!

[iheartwren]

We went through the same thing. We were so terrified of not swaddling her and getting less sleep than we already did. Around 6 months we tried no swaddling with all sorts of techniques (one arm, peke moe sleep sack etc.) but it didn't work so we put the swaddle back on. JUst now at almost 10 months we are trying again. The first night we put her on her back and she would not stay asleep so we tried putting her on her tummy and it worked much better! I feel comfortable with this now that she can go from her tummy to sitting. She still wakes up quite a bit but it is not any worse! She even slept 4 hours in a row last night which she hasn't done in months (though she was wide awake at 4 am, but we have to celebrate any small amount of improvement!)

[Beauchamp]

yeah, I am thinking of putting the swaddle back on tonight. sooooo tired. she's so darn tall, though. (27 3/4 inches) and the miracle blanket just doesn't fit well anymore. I guess maybe feet out. she needs to be *really* tired, too, which is hard for some reason. she gets cranky when she's just a little tired. and then I feel bad but have to kind of make her stay up until I know she's tired *enough* to fall and stay asleep.

this stuff is hard work.

[crayfishgirl]

We swaddled our daughter and she did great (although she often flipped out while she was being swaddled), but then she wasn't settling in it anymore. I realized that she was getting too tall for it and didn't tuck her legs into the pouch thing. It was better in that she wasn't fussing anymore, but she'd wake herself up with her twitchy legs. We ended up using the Miracle Blanket and Woombie together...arms swaddled in the MB, and then the Woombie on top of it. This set up kept her arms nice and tight and her legs still, but she was able to stretch her legs out. A friend'd daughter also started protesting the MB when she got to tall to keep her legs extended comfortably. Maybe something to try....

Good luck!

[Beauchamp]

last night we swaddled her arms only, and it really seemed like it was working. she nursed for ~40 mins, then I unlatched her, and moved her to her crib. Then she woke up crying. DH wore her down in the ergo...30 mins to fall asleep, then 30 more mins---down in the crib = CRYING. So she came to bed with me again. DH mentioned letting her cry for "a few minutes" in her crib. I said absolutely no CIO! But I am ready to cry, myself.

ETA last night everything failed again. I ended up nursing her to sleep in my bed and she stayed there all night. Then i was so upset that I couldn't sleep. My body was wedged between DD and DH. I couldn't get comfortable. My skin felt hot and I had so much anxiety. I peeled myself out of bed really carefully, went into the kitchen and got a glass of milk, sat down at the kitchen table and sobbed. This is awful. My body is sore and I am beyond exhausted. DH just tells me how much co-sleeping "sucks". (not so supportive.) I DREAD the nighttime.

[sillysmile]

When our DD outgrew the miracle blanket we used 2 for a while - one for her feet, and one over top for her arms. Then to get used to having her arms out, we would gently reach in and pull out the little arm flaps after she went to sleep so that she could get her arms out after she fell asleep. That seemed to ease the transition to feet-only swaddling.