anyone have a toddler and an infant? - Page 2

[lach]

Originally Posted by orangatan

I was just coming on here to write the same thing after an especially challenging day today. I have a 2 year old (27 months) and a 10 week old and after the intial bliss, Im struggling. Lately the bad days have out-numbered the good and even though I so deperately want to enjoy my children, I can't seem to get a handle on things. Naps are the worst, my older DD is a co-sleeper and I usally lie down with her to nap and she wont nap any other way. No naps equal a very unhappy little girl meaning we can't leave the house in fear of huge public meltdowns. Tandem nursing is also becoming to be a bit much on me, both body and mind.
My DD is also getting alot less attention making her act out in ways I've never seen before. I didn't know a two year old could rage like she does at times
This just isn't how I envisioned it- I knew it was going to be hard at times, but not this hard.

I'm so sorry things are so tough for you

Do you have any friends or family who can help you out? If not, maybe a neighborhood tween or teen who can come over and play with your DD for a while while you can cuddle with the baby? Now that there's a week of vacation, I bet there's some nice 12 year old girl you can find somewhere who would love to make $10 playing with a two year old for a little while.

It does get better, I promise. The napping sounds really tough. My daughter's sleep totally regressed when my son was born. It took a few months to get back to a reasonable place, but I swear now she sleeps better than ever. Maybe you can try a sticker chart or something like that to try to get her to lie in bed for a nap?

[Monkey Keeper]

Mine are 18m apart, now 3.5 and 2. The first year was, undeniably, brutal. At first, DD1 bit, pinched, and otherwise tortured the baby. There also were conflicting nap schedules, and the baby was MSPI and NOT a sleeper. I did not tandem nurse because my supply tanked during pregnancy, and DD1 showed zero interest after being off the boob for 6 months. I am glad, because I was so exhausted, sleep deprived, and touched out that it might have driven me mad.

Once DD2 started STTN (she walked well before this), life changed. I got my mojo back, and the two of them became the best of friends. This did coincide with her going to one nap as well, which gave me a much needed break during the day. Now, it honestly is awesome, and I love having them close. In a lot of ways, I think it's tons easier than having them further apart. Once they're truly both toddlers/preschoolers.

Hang in there. With two close in age, sometimes you have to do what it takes to get through the day. Honestly, the swing was about the only thing that saved us in those early days. DD2 was perfectly content there--and not many other places--and that's how I laid down with DD1 to get her to nap. You'll figure it out. It may not be what you had in mind beforehand, but you will figure out what works.

[JudiAU]

Toddler and babe are 26m apart. It is *wild* and *awesome* and crazy hard. DH is at school all the time and as tired as I am, I feel lucky to be home. I have to go back to work soon which will really be hard.

Seriously, I cried every time I pumped milk for more than a year with DS.

[sunnygir1]

Dd was 2y7mo when ds was born. I am on MDC right now because I want to run away. My almost 3yo will NOT take a nap at home no matter how tired she is. She often naps at daycare. I am tired. My baby cries every evening. I want to get a break before that happens, but dd is not cooperating with the quiet time thing.

That said, I love it. I love them both.

[jess152]

I have a one month old and a three year old and the three year old is on my nerves day in and day out! I feel awful about it, but the tantrums, shouting, occasional biting/hitting, getting into everything he shouldn't is so grating! It started a few months before baby came, so it didn't really hinge on his arrival. I keep telling myself it's just a stage, but it's driving me up the wall!

As for going from one to two kids, that's been ok. The newborn is a piece of cake compared to the toddler! I just wish I had more patience for DS1. I feel guilty enough as it is, loving on the new baby so much! I'm tandem nursing, so it's not like little brother has shoved big brother off his 'booba'.

Ah, it just feels good to get it out. No one IRL around me knows how I feel. :/

[lach]

Oh I wanted to add my very biggest hint: I premake meals when possible and stick them in the fridge. I pretty much ALWAYS make lunch while DD is happily eating breakfast and DS is happily lying around, cover it in saran wrap, and stick it in the fridge. Because the LAST thing I need is a hungry 2yo melting down while I scramble around trying to make her something vaguely healthy. I have the cup of milk ready to go in the fridge, too!

If I plan on going out in the afternoon, I do it with dinner, too. Then we get home and I can just put it right in front of her before she has a chance to work herself up. I figure if the two major reasons behind toddler tantrums are being tired and hungry, I can at least deal with one of those very easily. Now, getting her to bed is another matter. Though, actually, it's been like a dream for the past few months. But the first 6 months or so of DS's life, I don't know if it was a growth spurt or she was worried about her place in the family, but her sleeping really regressed, and if I wasn't up with him I was probably up with her.

[CageFreeFamily]

We have a 3yo and a 1mo. I love my little ones to pieces, but it's enormously hard. I feel like I've thrown my 3yo out of the nest, she gets so much less affection and attention than she used to

Ditto. Mine are 7yo, 2.85yo and 6wks old.

I don't feel like there's enough of me to go around. I miss my toddler terribly. We weaned earlier than I wanted to bc of serious pain. I moved her into a sibling bed with my 7yo and miss seeing her in her sleepy morning state.

I really feel like I'm mourning a loss, and I can tell that she is too.

Yeah, I've found it to be really hard.

[Umpqua]

My boys are 18 months apart and the first year with my younger one was rough. Once he started walking and got a bit more independent it got MUCH easier. And now I'm so grateful that they are close in age as I watch them play wrestle, color and chase each other around the house. It is SO worth the initial struggles.

[heatherweh]

I have a 3 1/2 year old and an 8 month old. Its been hard for me. I feel guilty about one or the other pretty much continuously. I also resent one or the other of them at least once a day, the toddler for demanding I carry him around, the baby for wanting me when I'm trying to read his brother a book- they are both strong-willed and demanding personalities.

I look forward to the gym each day, when I get a little break from mothering and of course feel guilty about that too. I think 2 will be it for me, I can't imagine doing this again, not that my LOs aren't absolutely wonderful and the biggest blessing, but more that I am lacking in some way.