Anyone not buy their kids gifts?

[laohaire]

DH and I don't buy each other anything for any occasion (birthday, Christmas), and I can only remember buying DD a gift once in her life.

She gets soooooo many gifts from her extended family (my mother, MIL, SIL and SSIL) that it's not like she's hurting for gifts. With the mad exchanges of so many gifts not even I can really keep up with who gave what. It's all too much stuff anyway, so DH and I don't really feel any overwhelming desire to ADD to it.

Suffice it to say, gifts are NOT DH's nor my love language. Dunno about DD, but at age 4 she views gifts like most other American 4 year olds. GIMME and NEXT.

[Adallae]

Well, this is our little one's first holiday season, and we won't be buying her any Christmas gifts (unless you count a new car seat - she just outgrew her infant seat ). She's got so many grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. who want to buy her things, there's no need for anything under the tree from mom and dad. Our 'gift' will be a drive to the mountains (about an hour away) to play in the snow. I could see this being a regular thing.

DH and I don't exchange gifts either - on any holiday - and I always get comments on how odd that is. Good to know we're not alone.

[valkynlu]

We don't usually get them anything for the same reasons you said...we have large families on both sides, so they never hurt for gifts to open.

That said, we sometimes let our oldest (3 y.o.) pick out something for her and her brother if we go to a store and happen to have a little extra money...usually after the holidays (sales!).

We do get birthday gifts for our kids though and I imagine we'll start to get gifts for them at Yule/Christmas when they get older. Like you said, its just "next!" for the most part.

[chfriend]

Originally Posted by laohaire

. Dunno about DD, but at age 4 she views gifts like most other American 4 year olds. GIMME and NEXT.

I'm intrigued by this. My kids get lots of presents from us and other loved ones. Often well thought out, sometimes not.

Neither of them have brought that spirit to receiving gifts. Curiousity and excitement, yes. Joy in getting and making gifts for others, yes. GIMME and NEXT, not at all.

Very intriguing.

[Caneel]

Until this Christmas, DH and I were on a no-gift for any occasion for years. Most of my family is like this.

I can't remember getting DS anything for the first two Christmases.

This year he hasn't expressed any interest in gifts at all. We are, however, getting him a few things.

[fruitfulmomma]

No, we don't do presents/gifts. We are low-income and they always get more than enough from other family for birthdays and Christmas. We do buy them other stuff throughout the year on occasion.

[SheBear]

Giving gifts (for any occassion, or for no occassion!) is totally my love language, so telling me not to give my friends/family/husband/children a gift would be like telling me to stop moving my hands when I talk (I'm Italian! )--it would effectively silence me.

That said, we don't *buy* many gifts at all....we make a lot, create "experiences" in lieu of gifts (decorate the dining room like a restaraunt and cook a special meal, plan a picnic or special outing, etc....), and what gifts we do spend money on are generally second-hand, repurposed, etc.

Could just be my love language talking, but I think giving children opportunities to witness and partake in gift-giving occassions is important--I think it models generosity, thoughtfulness (choosing the best gift for the recipient, not what I might want for myself), and graciousness/gratitude as recipients. I don't think it's the only way to teach generosity and gratitude, but it is a very visual, tangible lesson, and for many children that can reinforce the lesson more thoroughly than anything else.

[mbm]

Ha, I bought a car seat as DD's "Christmas gift" too! And our extended family is giving her a lot of stuff. She does not need anything from Mom and Dad, and at 1, she will not remember whether or not we gave her anything.

However, I do want to give her some small symbolic gift. I made her a hat and mittens. Maybe later she will look back at them and get a warm fuzzy thinking "Mommy made this for me."

[cappuccinosmom]

We didn't until last year. And then it was very minimal. A cool pair of shoes for one, binoculars for the other, a little Noah's ark picture for the third.


It is completely unnecessary, IMO. Especially if they're showered with gifts from others. Personally, my love language is gifts, and I enjoy giving as much as recieving, so I did get presents for them this year. But they're two small presents each so we're hardly at the "normal" American giving level.

[Comtessa]

I think we're going to wrap up one of DD's pacifiers so she has something to unwrap! Besides that, it doesn't make any sense to us to give her any gifts until she's old enough to do the Santa thing. And Santa will probably just bring oranges and nuts for a couple of years, anyway.

[Down2Earth]

We don't buy a lot of gifts, but it really helps that we don't celebrate xmas or any other holidays. And the rest of the family is very conservative with gifts.

But I do like buying my DH and DD things. I just don't make a big deal about it. And DD is still so young she really doesn't see much difference between a new, expensive toy and a bowl and spoon to bang around.

[2xshy]

i'm not.
im atheist and not super big on the whole gift giving thing. she will get lots of stuff from family and friends though. and it is likely i'll pick something up after the holidays if there is a good sale, but that's just because it is a good buy.

[Fuamami]

Of course it's unnecessary! Most fun things really are, you know? I doubt everyone ever died from not having fun, but it does make life a little more worth living.

I love giving gifts to my kids, especially when they're something I know they'll really like. They get lots of presents from extended family, too, and they're quite appreciative.

[mi_amor]

We don't give gifts for holidays either. DS gets things throughout the year from relatives and has too many toys already, and he's only 14 months old!

[meemee]

dd is 7. i am a single coparenting mom.

i needed the first two three years to figure out the whole gift giving dilema.

and then i stopped.

i never buy gifts for occasions.

dd never gets a gift from me on xmas or her bday. she gets enough from friends.

it works out REALLLY well for us.

esp. for me. coz i LOOOOOOOOOOOVE getting gifts. and i HATE saving it for an occasion. i want to give it NOW and see her face light up.

so we sit and talk about our longings - what we would like and then get as and when finances allow. some years gifts have been far and few between. other times quite a bit.

however my dd is a social girl. she is also not really a toy girl. we are mostly out of the house hardly home. so i spend a lot on outdoor activities. movies, eating out, fairs, going to the next town and getting little stuff.

xmas dd spends with her dad. he does the whole santa thing. dd comes over late morning or early afternoon and we go for a long walk, then a hike and then maybe depending on what we want to do go over for xmas dinner or go to a movie.

dunno - gifts dont factor in our lives v. much. nor occasions. however people does. dd would rather have friends over for dinner rather than get a gift. and so would i. so for both of us, it works REALLY well!!!!!

[Straggletag]

Well, we didn't used to, or at least we aimed for token handmade gifts and we griped about the excess of the holidays. But I think my love language is changing, perhaps from having a slightly older child that "gets it" and the jump start of affectionate feelings from having a new baby. My 3yo is thrilled with a $0.50 pack of stickers and she declares anything and everything to be "Christmas!!" if it has any passing resemblance.

So this is the last year we play Scrooge. Next year is looking to shape up into a potlach, I've really come around to believing in gift giving, excessive or not. My home will be the one with the giant natural tree trimmed in tons of homemade ornaments, with a buffet groaning with meat pies, and a thousand wrapped gifts under the tree. We'll be sitting back with "It's a Wonderful Life" and all the rest of the films for weeks ahead of time.

[philomom]

We celebrate Winter Solstice. Big party, no gifts. My kids get a big gift at each birthday and I support their hobbies. Enough said.

[DaughterOfKali]

I love giving gifts. It brings me joy.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by DaughterOfKali

I love giving gifts. It brings me joy.

[alaskaberry]

Not for Christmas... The kids have plenty of extended family who love to give gifts. Besides, I am always buying ds little gifts(mostly books!) when we are back home, so I don't want to over-gift him...he already is saying he needs *more* toys even though he has lots he never even plays with.