Back to co-sleeping?

[t2009]

Hi all... Hope you wise mamas can give some advice.

We co-slept with our DS (mix of bed sharing & in a co-sleeper next to the bed) for his first 4 months. Then I just got exhausted from him being latched on basically the entire night & our pediatrician suggested that if we wanted to make the switch 4 months was a good time (she's not anti-co-sleeping).

Fast forward, he's now almost 9 months. DH & I have this horrible "on-call" system that basically means all 3 of us are sleeping in separate places! One person gets a full night sleep while the other is on the couch closer to DS. I guess we thought that we'd be doing that for a month or so & then he'd magically start sleeping through the night!

So after we get home from holiday travels we want to make some sort of change. We're both anti-CIO & are committed to nighttime parenting. So we're considering going back to a family bed. Especially since DS still needs to be nursed when he wakes up (usually). But sometimes he needs to be rocked/bounced too. Oh, and we DO already bring him into bed with us in the early morning (when he wakes at 4 or 5).

BUT I have a few questions/concerns before deciding to go back to co-sleeping: Will he want to nurse even MORE often since we'll be right next to each other? Will this lead to a sleep regression? Will we still have to get out of bed to rock/bounce? He naps well in his crib... but I'm worried he'll stop. Anything else we should consider before making the switch? I guess I'm just a little worried since from other posts it seems that many of you co-sleeping mamas are equally (or even more) exhausted!

[coltynsmom]

my son is 18 months old and does still nurse at night but i think it's because i am "right there" as you said. I personally don't mind since we have found a comfy way to sleep and nurse. If you're worried about your babe still napping on his own I would suggest giving another form of comfort. My son sleeps on his own at naptime and before we are ready to go to bed. All I did was introduce a stuffed animal to join us while we slept together and eventually he was ok with sleeping with just "george" (he is a monkey) good luck!

if you are worried about being tired I think it just goes along with parenthood in general. some nights are very tiring but for the most part we are all happy. I believe co-sleeping allows us to meet all of our little boy's needs and it will be for such a short time in the grand scheme of things. hang in there.

[rzberrymom]

My DD had many regressions, but I don't think they had anything to do with where we slept (we also played musical beds like you guys ). Instead, her regressions always had to do with teething, separation anxiety, illness, etc. We did *whatever* worked to get us as much sleep as possible at that time and tried not to worry about what was around the bend.

I always tried to remember that the reason I saw so many stories here from mamas who are exhausted is because people come here when they need help--you don't see as many stories from those of us who are quite satisfied with co-sleeping, who find we get *more* sleep by side-nursing in bed rather than getting out of bed to go to a crib, etc. I guess it would be similar in the breastfeeding forum--after reading the threads looking for help, it might seem like breastfeeding is impossible and filled with nothing but difficulty.

[pinky]

I really don't think there are universal rules about how sleep location affects sleep and night nursing. You just have to see what works for your particular family and child.

For example, my 5 y.o. has been starting the night in her own bed and then joining me/us sometime during the night for YEARS. Her night nursing has gradually abated but she's still been waking up at night, sometimes a lot.

We recently visited family and all slept together...and she slept THROUGH THE NIGHT for 9 nights running. That hasn't ever happened. So once we got home, we went back to her sleeping with me for the whole night. And she's sleeping beautifully. Basically for the first time in her life. I would never have guessed it could make such a big difference to start the night in bed with me, since it was the waking up WITH me that was the problem. But for whatever reason, it did.

My point is that it's hard to predict, and sometimes you just have to try out some different things before you figure out what your baby and family need.