Feel drawn to UC....

[jeliphish]

Just a lingering thought that won't leave my head so I thought I would post about it. I have had two children...both in the hospital and both with epidurals. DD1 i had PROM at 35 weeks and labored slowly and was subsequently given pitocin which I endured for 5 hours until I gave up. DD2 was fast and furious and basically by the time I started labor and my water broke I was already 6cm and had been sitting there for weeks. I could not mentally handle the pain and received an epi about 10 minutes before I pushed which did not take effect until after the fact.

Due to past circumstances which led to several months of semi-agoraphobia - I have a hard time dealing with being in pain and the inability to have the "flight" part of the fight or flight reaction. I am simply unable to calm myself down to the point of keeping sane and I panic. The epi allowed me to feel in control again - (funny considering it disabled my abilty to walk huh?)

I want to receive prenatal care for sure however I just can't stop thinking about having the baby at home alone.... I can't understand why this thought isn't leaving my head as it is something that I really havn't thought of before. I think about my last birth and how easy it would have been to just stay at home, not called my DH, and just deal with it for an hour and I could have done it.

IDK.... I am just trying to figure out why I keep invisioning a UC in my head everyday here lately...

Anywhoo- thanks for listening to my randomness

[rlmueller]

Me too

i'm birthing at home with midwife practice, but, just--don't want to call them--or even tell my husband. I really only want my son there (if he would be of course).

[prancie]

i really think there is a strong instinct to be alone during labor and birth. I feel it all the time. I try to explain it to my DH and it's just not an instinct he can understand. I also think we have those instincts for very good reasons and women would do well to heed them!

[zoebird]

i often wonder, too, if being alone makes it easier (less painful) than being with a lot of people monitoring you, yk? it may be you are instinctively drawn to doing it that way for that sort of reason.

[prancie]

From what I've read and what I feel inside myself, it's all about feeling uninhibited. If you high low inhibitions you might be just as happy with an audience but if you have high inhibitions you may want to be alone or only have someone there you trust implicitly, like a spouse. Oxytocin doesn't flow when we feel observed (and judged). Even recording devices can be detrimental to hormone flow. When I imagine my birth it's alone in a dark room. I have even thought about locking myself in the bathroom when the time comes!!!

Michael Odent writes some really good stuff on this subject.

[Missie]

you might find some of the following links very helpful

http://www.davis-floyd.com/ShowPage.asp?id=158

http://unhinderedliving.com/childbirth.html

http://www.unassistedchildbirth.com/uc/truth.html

http://birthlove.cyclzone.com/pages/birth_index.html (woohoo I found the whole BirthLove site Ladies)

Read as much as you can and follow your gut.

HTH