2 year old jealous of new baby?

[moon mountain mama]

My toddler is loving and sweet but lately he has been getting physical with his new baby sister. Thrjowing things at her, and when he walks by her he may all of a sudden turn and try to pinch or hit her. Any suggestions on how to deal with this and not create more negativity. We have been doing time outs and praise when he is gentle and sweet. It seems like its not working.

[mamaluvs]

We are going through this too! It is so frustrating. My DD takes the baby's pacifier, shrieks really close to his head just as he is nodding off and occassionaly hits him. We tried the time out thing but it didn't work and we felt horrible punishing her when she is currently feeling so frustrated/scared/jealous and just acting out those feelings in the only way she knows how.

Here's what I've been doing lately and seems to be helping:
I say things like "Your brother is feeling sad right now and his pacifier makes him feel better. Would you please give it back to him?" 98% of the time she complies.

Today I'm trying "It really hurts your brother's ears when you scream so close to his ears. Could you please use a quieter voice when you are next to him?" This sometimes works. I think she has some trouble switching her brain to think quiet instead of shriek.

I think it really help when I explain to DD how her actions make DS feel. Good luck and if you come up with any other solutions, please share with me!

[nanamar]

Same here... I have tried every possible gentle way of teaching that is not ok to hurt sister, but nothing has worked so far. At the moment, when situation happens, I remove baby sister, and explain big sister that she can not play with baby unless she is nice and gentle. And it goes on and on and big sister dont get it, so if anyone knows the magic trick, please share

[LVale]

Well of all the 2 yr. olds, I have ever known, mine included, they have no impulse control. They simply do not understand you can not do xy or z to baby. They are still learning really big things themselves. They do not know how to be nice, etc. This is a learned ability. They have to be shown this time after time, before they get it. So in the mean time, to save your sanity, keep baby out of reach, and safe. Put yourself in the 2 yr. olds shoes, oh neat baby, something to play with, etc. but they simply do not know how. The skills are not there yet, because in the big skim of things, they are still babies themselves.

[justKate]

Is the 2 yr. old feeling left out? Has her routine been disrupted with the addition of a new baby?

I was 2.5 when my brother was born, and it was very upsetting to me. He was (according to my parents) a very difficult baby (like my own DD) and took a lot of patience. He screamed and vomitted incessantly. I was sad at the loss of my peaceful home where I had the attention of both of my parents.

So I would second trying to explain to your DD how DS feels when she's negative, and try to figure out if there is some resentment or sadness she's feeling. Is there some special time each week you can set aside to spend alone with her? Or for her to spend alone with her dad/your partner? Just brainstorming. I hope you find some peace!