Over-reacting to dangers (rant!)

[diana_of_the_dunes]

I'm sorry... This is going to turn into a rant, but it's been building for a while and I need to vent (and it's not something I want to put on my blog for my family to see).

I'm getting so sick and tired of people telling me how "dangerous" everything is. The minute my SIL found out we were pregnant with Ethan she said, "Oooh, you're gonna need to get a fence for your yard!" Umm, no, we plan on watching our child. Or being outside and playing with him. We'll set boundaries and teach him to respect them. Kind of like I had when I was a little kid and didn't have a fence around our yard. Somehow I survived.

And then my aunt kicks in with, "But you have to watch out! Someone might take your baby!!" Sigh. You'd think working in law enforcement would make me paranoid, since I know that there are crazies out there. I'm not in denial. But it's not like we live in the crime capital of the US. In our county and the surrounding areas, the only "kidnappings" I've ever enountered or seen broadcast on the news involved family. Like grandma runs off with a kid who she feels is not being properly cared for at home. Or in a custody dispute. I know it happens. I know it's a possibility. But I'm not going to keep my kid inside in front of the TV because of a teeny-tiny, miniscule chance of him being snatched out of our fenceless yard by some wacko.

So then today my mom sends me a link to a news story about how 50 million blinds and shades with cords are being recalled out of homes with small children. This is because 8 kids were killed by strangulation and 16 were injured in the past 8 years. 3 kids per year. Out of how many kids in homes with blinds? Several million? Not to say that it's not a tragedy that those kids were killed or injured. It most certainly was, especially because it could probably have been prevented. But is it even close to reasonable that people totally remove blinds from their homes instead of simply taking easy precautions? FWIW our cords are already tied up out of reach, since I have a cat that likes to play with them.

Okay, I think I'm done now...

[2boyzmama]

I hear you!!!

We also don't have a fenced yard, and GASP! We let Ian outside by himself sometimes. Almost always there's a bunch of neighbor kids out there, and I can see him from the window, or I'm frequently going out to check on him. He knows his boundaries, he won't chase a ball into the street, and we live in a safe neighborhood. I'm not worried. Connor isn't quite ready, his cognitive level just isn't there yet. It's different for every kid, and you'll know when your kid is ready.

I'm also not over-protective at all about injuries. Ian had a big crash from a skateboard this summer, his face was bleeding from his nose, his lip, and his chin. No big deal, we cleaned it up, and proudly put pictures on facebook of his "wipeout". I caught the older neighbor boys rolling Ian down the hill in an empty (and clean--I hope!) garbage can and I laughed at them!

I don't have outlet covers all over the place, because it's rare that I don't know where my kids are. I do have covers in the outlets in the play room since I'm not always in there with them. I don't have toilet seat locks, sure I've had to unclog the toilet once in a while, but it's not a big deal (and makes for a funny blog post!) I don't have rubber bumpers on the corners of the counters or tables.

I don't hold them back on the playground at the park, I figure if they're brave enough to climb to the top, then they're ready. In fact a few times I've been nervous about Connor up there (never nervous about Ian, weird, huh?) and I've had to turn my back so he doesn't see me being nervous. Because the second he seems me being nervous, I know he'll think it's a game and try to get a reaction out of me.

Only one of my boys has had stitches so far, and it happened in a way that I couldn't have prevented even if my house was as baby-proofed as possible.

I am very strict about carseat safety. But that one they're at a much higher chance of an accident in the car vs at the park.

And my MIL is completely freaked out about my nonchalance about it all. Her kids were NEVER allowed to do things like that. Different styles I guess!

[MichelleAnnette]

I hear you, too. I could go on and on, but two things always stick out to me. Gabe is 2 and a half and my mom seems to think that he cannot be in a room alone ever. He is all the time and he's fine. My mom also used to freak out that I let him put whatever in his mouth (okay, some limits, but not many). Well, he has never one time choked. You know what he learned by walking around with rocks in his mouth? NOT to choke. I know how to deal if he did choke anyway. And he was mostly over it by the time he was 1.

I am a car seat safety fanatic, though. That is one place where there is a considerable chance of accident.

Gabe also sits next to the hot stove, knives, on the counter while I am cooking. He's never been injured. And I sometimes leave the kitchen momentarily. I've always talked to him about danger and what not to touch and he gets it.

[Julia24]

funny. We have no fence either and my kids are able to play alone by the time they're like 2.5/3. The whole back of my house is lined with windows and I just open them so I can see and hear them. But jeez - they know they are 'backyardigans' and if they take ONE step towards the front yard, play time is OVER. That's enough for them - they never test it. (plus, my dog Buster goes BAZERK if they start to get towards the front of the house, bc he's chained in the back and can't go with them to protect them )

I'm a nut about car seat safety too though. It's not so much the chance of having an accident is that high - but the severity of injuries would be high. There's no do overs in that department - you screw it up and have an accident, your kid is dead.

I'm weird about someone trying to take my babies though. I figure they're beautiful and perfect - if there's some wacko that seems them, they'll want them.

My MIL is nuts about things too. We just blow her off. She got on us a year or so ago about having an alarm clock plugged in by Maddie's bedding. "It's a fire hazard, yk!"

[darcytrue]

Sounds like my mom. She's always been real good about warning me of dangers. She is the first to let me know of recalls, missing or kidnapped children in the area, etc. We don't watch the news much in my house. If I don't over react like she does about everything then I'm a careless or somewhat uncaring mom.

[confustication]

We're in the same boat- luckily though- my parents totally get it. Everyone else thinks we're nuts though.

DD (8) is allowed outside, and has been since she was about 4 without an adult (before that- the impulse control was not there.) We don't have a fence, but do plan to install one this year. It isn't a matter of worrying about the what ifs- so much as my sanity. We have two boys 14 months apart. If only one adult is home it would be really nice to go sit out in the yard with them and let them play in the enclosed area without fearing that someone might go wandering. In other words, it's a matter of planned parental laziness, not fear. :P

[tzs]

wow! i guess i've been lucky.
although...people always ask me what kind of dog we have and i have to kind of rush over the pit-bull part. kind of like pit-bull/WHIPPET mix. and then turn away really fast so as not to see their shocked disapproving faces.
or else go into defensive mode right away and tell them how pit-bulls are one of the best family dogs with a bad rap...or how the whippet in him is the bad part or something like that.
so far so good