Newbie needs some help :(

[PeachyKeen]

I figured I would post it here since I really have no clue where else to post this. I am trying my hardest to have the kind of pregnancy/birth I have been dreaming of since I gave birth to my last child. However with this pregnancy I am high risk because of my blood pressure. Its seeming like the natural water birth I want is a pipe dream as I cannot find a midwife who will see me. I am in tears about this as my last pregnancy I hated my OB and in the hospital I had all kinds of complications due to the interventions they pushed on me. I just don't know what to do and was wondering if anyone else has ever been in the position I am in or if there was some hope for me? Sorry if I seem a bit disjointed as I just got back from an appt with an OB who crushed me by saying no midwife for me.

[justmandy]

Oh, I'm so sorry. Yes, there are lots of women who want natrual birth and just cannot do it safely. I don't have much advice for you except to remember that the goal is not a certain kind of birth, the goal is a healthy baby and mama.

[tngirl11]

If you definitely have to give birth in the hospital, you could find a doula to help you and to help speak for you. I wanted to give birth with a midwife the first time, but I couldn't because I was having twins and because they were preterm. I had a wonderful doula who absolutely saved me from an unnecessary c-section, as well as an epidural and constant monitoring. She just knew how to communicate with the drs brilliantly. It might be a great option for you. Good luck!

[Jenica]

My midwife delivers in a hospital and because of that they can handle a little more risky pregnancies. If you can find a midwife near you who works in a hospital maybe they would be more willing to take you on. Also, the hospital I'm delivering in doesn't allow water births but does allow laboring in the water so maybe that's an option for you too. At least you'll get some of the comfort of the water if not during the actual delivery.

[Peace+Hope]

peachykeen.

have you tried asking in your tribal area about other OBs in your area?

there may be one who has midwives on staff, who deliver at the hospital.

i second the doula idea!

[JayJay]

Well, I am having a hospital birth this time too, with an induction thrown into the mix. But I am not upset about it any more and here is why:

I changed OB's to someone who is loving, kind, fatherly and extremely well respected. I adore him. All his other patients adore him. He loves natural birth and has completely respected my wishes for a natural birth. I am going to wear my own clothes, not be bugged about pain meds by anyone, move about whenever I like and use water as pressure wave management. It's brilliant: he even told me to smuggle some protein bars into the delivery room...

I have my midwife and friend from last time as my doula now

I have a birth plan which is in my file, on top, every time I go in to see anyone. It's awesome where they've put it

So, basically I guess that is it. Finding an OB you are happy with is HUGE. Someone who really cares about you. A doula is such a great idea as well. Also I am doing the Hypnobabies program, which is sooooo fabulous when it comes to relaxation and being confident about birth!

*HUGE hugs* - you can have an empowered birth - I know you can! XxXxX

[PeachyKeen]

Originally Posted by Jenica

My midwife delivers in a hospital and because of that they can handle a little more risky pregnancies. If you can find a midwife near you who works in a hospital maybe they would be more willing to take you on. Also, the hospital I'm delivering in doesn't allow water births but does allow laboring in the water so maybe that's an option for you too. At least you'll get some of the comfort of the water if not during the actual delivery.

I have an appt with an OB on the 20th of January and I am going to see if I can speak to one of the CNMs on the staff. Cross your fingers that all works out for me as I really do not feel comfortable having another birth attended by an OB. All 3 of my previous labors were nightmares and I am hoping to change that by switching to someone who is not so intervention happy.