Late nap is wrecking my 6 month old's night sleep!

[April Dawn]

Hi mamas,

I need suggestions for helping my 6.5 month old son get to sleep! For the last few months, he's been taking 3 naps a day, morning, lunchtime and mid afternoon. But lately he's been staying awake longer between naps - his first nap has stayed the same, around 9 am, but the second nap used to start around 12, and the last couple weeks he's been holding off on the second nap until around 1 pm. Unfortunately, that means the third nap, which used to start around 3, is now often happening around 5 pm! That's way too late - he used to go to bed around 8 pm, but lately it's more like 10 pm. Last night he didn't go to bed until after 11 at night! It's not a good thing for anyone - my son is overly tired and grumpy, and my husband and I are frazzled from not getting any down time to relax after he goes to sleep.

I am thinking that my son is slowly moving towards taking just two longer naps, morning and afternoon, rather than three. And that's fine with me! But is there any way to make the transition easier, or do I just have to stick it out right now? When he takes a nap at 5 pm, should I let him, or try to keep him awake? I don't know how to best help him get enough sleep! Not sure if this will impact your answers, but in case it does - we cosleep at night, and when he naps, he lays in the bed and I sit right next to him and read. Thanks for any suggestions!

[gbutterflykissesm]

Do you go to bed when he does? If so, my answer might not work for you.

But I had similar issues. My DS used to go to bed at 8:30 or 9, (and took 4 naps a day, believe it or not...around 9AM, 12PM, 2PM, and 5PM) but now he usually takes his last nap around 2 or so, and I start putting him to bed between 6 and 6:30. This doesn't make him wake up earlier in the morning or anything... he always wakes up at the same time regardless of what time he went to sleep. He is usually cranky and exhausted, but he won't even go down for that last nap anymore, so we just put him to bed earlier. I would try to keep him up during that last stretch and see how it goes for a few days.

BUT, that said, I have found that if he needs his sleep and will nap, you should probably let him... cranky tired babies are no fun!

[aet.tea]

6.5 mo DD is down to two naps a day one around 8:45 or 9 and one around 12:30 or 1. Most of the time each is about 1.5-2 hours. Since she wakes up around 3 from the last nap I just keep her up until 6 or 6:30, when she goes to bed.

If I were you I'd try keeping him up another hour, till 6, then put him down and see if he stays asleep for a while.

We also co-sleep. I usually nurse her when I come to bed around 10, then she sleeps pretty well till about 2-3 AM. At that point she might wake up and be up for a little while, then go back to sleep till 6:30 or 7.

Good luck!

[Louisep]

This happened to us and I moved DS onto a 2-3-4 schedule. His first nap is 2 hours after he gets up, his second nap is 3 hours after he gets up from his first nap, and then he goes to bed 4 hours after he gets up from his second nap. Our DS doesn't nap for long so he goes to bed early - 6 to 6:30pm. However, he doesn't wake up any earlier in the morning!

[robynholly]

Sounds like he is trying to get rid of the third nap and only take 2 naps a day. You need to put him to sleep much earlier than 8. He will nap at 1 and then try and hold him off until 5:30 or so for bedtime. Then slowly hold it off until 6 o'clock and that will be his bedtime. You are on the right track with the other naps being at 9 and 1. Do you have a sling? They are perfect for trying to push off a bedtime. Carry your little guy around....he'll love it!!

[April Dawn]

Thanks for the advice... but I'm still not sure what to do. I know he *needs* to go to sleep earlier, but I'm not sure how to get him to do it! He fights sleep so hard and I am not willing to do CIO. I do wear him - frequently I put him in the Moby wrap and walk around when he starts showing signs of being tired, but it still often takes an hour or so of that for him to go to sleep. And if I try before he shows signs of being tired, forget it! He will NOT go to sleep until he decides to. If he's not in the Moby wrap he's even worse - he will thrash and scratch at me while fussing. Nursing to sleep is not an option - I am exclusively pumping, so he gets breastmilk in bottles (he never learned to latch despite months of trying and the help of several lactation consultants).

Since nursing and babywearing are the suggestions I usually see to get babies to sleep, and neither works for him, I'm at a loss for how to make him sleep sooner. Right now it's 9:55 pm here and he just went to sleep. I have no time to just relax with knitting or a book before bed - by the time he goes to sleep it's so late at night all I can do is pump (and hop on MDC while pumping! ) and then crash. How do you all convince a baby it's time to go to sleep if he doesn't want to?

[Kiwiontheloose]

My girl is 6.5months, and I've noticed in the 3-4 weeks she has become less able to sleep in the moby, or on me. Actually goes to sleep faster if I put her down on the bed, lie down next to her and rub her back or pat her bottom (she's a tummy sleeper). She also is not a feed-to-sleep type, but she does have a pacifier which she uses to get to sleep.

You could try holding him out to 6pm after the 2nd nap, then putting him down. I have a policy with mine that grizzling is ok as long as I'm there with her comforting her. So its totally not CIO, but I will lie beside her as she grizzles, and pat/shh/rub back etc. If it turns to full on crying of course I get her up/do other things. It took a few days of implementing this policy for it to work but mostly now we both lie down together and she goes to sleep without a fuss. (if I get her at the right time - ie tired but not overtired!)

[chocolatefish]

Sounds like you really need to tackle the naps first and see if it improves the nighttime. Transitions are so hard! DS went really easily from 3 naps to 2 at around 3 months, but the 2 to 1 at around a year was much much harder, he was grumpy in the evenings for ages because I couldn't let him nap after 4pm as it stuffed up bedtime.

FWIW my suggestion would be that you totally shake up your routine and start timing his day naps to happen around 10am and 2pm. It means a bit of grumpiness when he's tired, but in my experience it really helps with bringing bedtime forward. And I can cope with a grumpy baby better during the day than one that won't go to bed! Do whatever you usually do to get him to sleep, but do it at different times. Has your LO started any solids yet? It's a good way to build a two nap routine into the day as they basically happen after breakfast and after lunch. And if you want him in bed around 8pm don't let him nap any later than 4pm - or else!

[Lilly Milly]

I can commiserate with the late naps. My LO is in a similar transition to yours I think. She is starting to wait longer for her first nap but her evening nap ends up being around 5 and she'll stay asleep until we decide to put her in pajamas! My husband and I debate what to do. We like to put her down between 7 and 7:30 so that we can eat dinner after that. The last 2 nights my husband wanted to wake her up around 6:15 or so and put her back down at 7:30. Luckily for us, this works and she does go to sleep. As far as naps though, we are at a loss. They seem all over the place. We're just lucky it's having a minor effect on nighttime so far.

I'll throw this out as an alt. to nursing and wearing to sleep. Currently we hold our LO and bounce around with her, like slow dance but with more up and down, and she falls asleep after about 5 minutes or so, we wait another few minutes and we put her down. It is getting hard on our backs as she gets bigger so we're trying to get shorter and shorter time before we set her down.

Also, I wonder if working toward the 10 and 2 naps as PP suggest would help. Maybe you can somehow hold him off for the first nap gradually, in like 10 minute increments? I think I may try this myself. Maybe it will lead her give up the last "catnap"...on second thought, mine may be too young to give it up altogether at 5mo but maybe it will become a true catnap rather than a serious nap.

[April Dawn]

Originally Posted by chocolatefish

FWIW my suggestion would be that you totally shake up your routine and start timing his day naps to happen around 10am and 2pm. It means a bit of grumpiness when he's tired, but in my experience it really helps with bringing bedtime forward. And I can cope with a grumpy baby better during the day than one that won't go to bed! Do whatever you usually do to get him to sleep, but do it at different times. Has your LO started any solids yet? It's a good way to build a two nap routine into the day as they basically happen after breakfast and after lunch. And if you want him in bed around 8pm don't let him nap any later than 4pm - or else!

This helped a lot yesterday! I kept him up later in the morning so that first nap wasn't as early, and then the second nap was later and the third one didn't happen - and that made a difference. He slept a bit better last night, although still not as early as I think he needs to get to sleep.

We just came from the doctor's office and I discovered something else that may be a factor. I took him in for a rash and the doctor said he has eczema. He told us some lotion to use to help. He also said eczema is really itchy... so maybe that's part of the reason my son has such a hard time going to sleep. I know I wouldn't be able to go to sleep easily if I itched all over! So maybe once I get that under control, it will help the sleep issues too!

Thanks again for the ideas!

[April Dawn]

Just wanted to post an update! Things are going better. First of all, we are now following a 2-3-4 schedule, thanks for the idea! When it's getting towards time for him to nap, I just pop him in the Moby wrap and go for a long walk around the neighborhood, and it always works! I think a big problem is that he's so easily distracted by toys at home that he can't fall asleep. But when we're walking, he watches the world for a while and then eventually snuggles close to me and he's out. I love it!

The other BIG factor is that we have figured out his eczema. As I mentioned in my last update, he's had this rash a while. Well, it suddenly got DRASTICALLY worse, and we ended up making 3 doctor visits before getting it under control. He is on medication for it. Also, he's now in all cotton clothes, we are using dye/fragrance free detergent and soap, and I am eating a dairy and soy free diet in case he has an intolerance to the proteins he gets from my breastmilk. He is now so much happier and the rash looks better. So I think that was also a part of his sleep problems; he was just uncomfortable.

Thanks again for all the ideas!