DH wants his mom to babysit... - Page 2

[Kutie.Pie]

I am in the same boat. I would let my mom watch DS in a heartbeat, but my MIL is not really a "baby" person. She tells me all the time that I do a better job than she ever did. My in-laws offered DH and I the crib mattress his brothers used (16 years old!). I don't want DS sleeping on that thing at his grandparents house either. They also live 2 hours away (my mom is in a different state, so that in itself is not an option unfortunately) in the middle of no where.

Just tell your DH flat out why you're just not comfortable yet. Maybe you just need to wait till DS is a little older. I've told my DH that and I do mean it. Maybe when he's older, but not right now. It's different when they're older as well. You could also let you MIL know that if she wants to watch the baby, she'll just have to follow a few things that you do with your baby. My sisters did that all the time with my parents.

[BrittneyMarie]

we're having this issue. ive had to tell dh flat out that no, his parents can not babysit. this is mostly because when he was a baby he almost got taken from his mom by cps because she routinely left him at home alone for 'an hour or so' to go to the store. and she left him in the bath for 'only 5-10 minutes' to go talk on the phone. and when he was 'old enough to be pottytrained' (2 years ) his dad would take him out without a change of clothes, and if he had an accident, he'd just have to wear poopy clothes for the rest of the day, which was hours upon hours sometimes. and they both still think they did nothing wrong. sorry, but those people will not be watching my baby.

[cini]

Well, I wasn't ready to let anyone babysit when my Ds was only 5 months so you might just want to wait a few more months until she is older.

Maybe if you are not ready to let her watch your dd at night, maybe try to let her babysit for a few hours during the day, that way she doesn't feel left out and maybe your dd will get more used to her. I let my mil babysit for an hour or two during the day while I ran errands and it helped them develop a nice bond. I find both my mom and mil like to share their opinions about what they did with their kids etc it totally annoys me but I know they would never undermine my parenting. I would give your mil a chance she may turn out to be a great babysitter and your dd will end up being more comfortable in her care, just let your dh inform her what is and isn't acceptable.

Both sets of grandparents babysit my kids and while I don't always like their opinions they are both pretty respectful of our choices, and honestly the more babysitters/support I have on hand the better.

[tanyam926]

I can understand your situation. My dh can't see his mother clearly, I think it's a coping mechanism so that he doesn't have to process the trauma from his childhood. He once mentioned something about his mom babysitting sometime and I nicely said no way.

I completely trust my instincts, especially when it comes to my kids, and while I don't think that MIL would purposefully cause harm to my kids, I just don't trust her judgement in general. My parents on the other hand do watch the kids (not ds3 yet bc he's still too little to be w/out me or dh) and I trust them and don't have to worry. My parents however make an effort to have a relationship w/their gkids while my ILs act like they don't really care.

It can be a touchy subject in a relationship though so tread carefully. I really try to be sensitive about dh's family (I am continually working on it).

If my MIL expressed an interest in spending time w/the kids I would invite her over to play w/them while I was here. You might try that.