The social worker called us back!!! 
She was very helpful and talked with us for over 45 minutes. She gave us a lot of information, cleared up a lot of things, and really put some perspective on the situation.
You all are right. According to state law, they won't place our niece out of state unless parental rights are terminated. They see no incentive for SIL to get straight unless she has steady visitation with her daughter. The social worker said flat out that she doesn't see any posibility of SIL getting her daughter back unless she went to a hospital to detox. There just isn't enough time for her to wean off slowly. The state terminates rights after 15 months in care. If she detoxes at the hospital, she's far more likely to relapse...plus, I honestly don't think SIL would try that.
The social worker said that SIL is in really rough shape. She's failed her last 6 UA's, and falls asleep while talking to her. I'm disgusted at hearing this. I knew she was bad off, but not that bad. She also set us straight about the father. He in fact does NOT have a job, and does NOT have his own house. He pretty much just couch surfs from home to home. The social worker held little to no hope that he would be cleared to gain custody. Man, addicts really can be convincing!!! It's so horrible knowing that you can't believe one single word they tell you. Everything has to be questioned.
We were given the names, professions, address, and phone number of the new foster family. We're calling them tomorrow. They're both teachers and are seasoned foster parents. The last home our niece was in, she was the first child they had ever had in their care. I feel like this home is a really great place for her right now.
So basically, we won't be able to gain custody of our niece until parental rights are terminated. That is unless we can convice SIL to give us custody before then. Dh thinks he can do this...I personally don't see that as very likely. The social worker encouraged us to visit our niece and the foster family as often as possible. We're of course going to do everything in our power to do that. We live over 10 hours away, so it's going to take a lot of work. We're fully invested though.
We emailed the social worker rfe-stating our intentions and everything we discussed, per the advice given here
I'm feeling like we have a direction now, and a path. It's very sad though to think that our niece will very likely have to wait in foster care for over a year before she can have her forever home. If we could move up there, we would in a heartbeat. Dh is really tied up into his Phd program here though, and needs to finish asap. I worry what must be going through our niece's mind right now. What can she possibly be thinking? Will she be able to truly bond with us after all of this? It's all so so sad.
She was very helpful and talked with us for over 45 minutes. She gave us a lot of information, cleared up a lot of things, and really put some perspective on the situation.
You all are right. According to state law, they won't place our niece out of state unless parental rights are terminated. They see no incentive for SIL to get straight unless she has steady visitation with her daughter. The social worker said flat out that she doesn't see any posibility of SIL getting her daughter back unless she went to a hospital to detox. There just isn't enough time for her to wean off slowly. The state terminates rights after 15 months in care. If she detoxes at the hospital, she's far more likely to relapse...plus, I honestly don't think SIL would try that.
The social worker said that SIL is in really rough shape. She's failed her last 6 UA's, and falls asleep while talking to her. I'm disgusted at hearing this. I knew she was bad off, but not that bad. She also set us straight about the father. He in fact does NOT have a job, and does NOT have his own house. He pretty much just couch surfs from home to home. The social worker held little to no hope that he would be cleared to gain custody. Man, addicts really can be convincing!!! It's so horrible knowing that you can't believe one single word they tell you. Everything has to be questioned.
We were given the names, professions, address, and phone number of the new foster family. We're calling them tomorrow. They're both teachers and are seasoned foster parents. The last home our niece was in, she was the first child they had ever had in their care. I feel like this home is a really great place for her right now.
So basically, we won't be able to gain custody of our niece until parental rights are terminated. That is unless we can convice SIL to give us custody before then. Dh thinks he can do this...I personally don't see that as very likely. The social worker encouraged us to visit our niece and the foster family as often as possible. We're of course going to do everything in our power to do that. We live over 10 hours away, so it's going to take a lot of work. We're fully invested though.
We emailed the social worker rfe-stating our intentions and everything we discussed, per the advice given here
I'm feeling like we have a direction now, and a path. It's very sad though to think that our niece will very likely have to wait in foster care for over a year before she can have her forever home. If we could move up there, we would in a heartbeat. Dh is really tied up into his Phd program here though, and needs to finish asap. I worry what must be going through our niece's mind right now. What can she possibly be thinking? Will she be able to truly bond with us after all of this? It's all so so sad.
