At my wits end with oldest ds - Page 8

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by 2xy

A few people have mentioned that it's time for the kid to find his own way, stretch his wings, gain independence, etc. This is the same community that encourages extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, both of which the mainstream community tends to see as over-the-top. But it's somehow over-the-top for a 20yo to still be living at home??? This particular point I'm making has nothing to do with the smoking situation (which is why I stated in my last post that it was tangential). I'm talking about attitudes regarding family, in general. What's wrong with living together if it works for everyone?

I agree somewhat. I have no problem with my children living at home until they are 30 or until they decide to get married if that's what they want to do. "But" they would have to respect my rules since it's my home. They would also be required to pay towards utilities and our mortgage once they are adult age and working, especially if they choose to waste $$ on cigs or anything else that is a waste of money (IMO anyway).

[MadiMamacita]

Originally Posted by darcytrue

Perhaps you can get a video showing what black lungs look like or people with breathing difficulties like emphysema and lung cancer and what it can do to some people.

i have been reading this thread, but havent commented until now.
this will not work. i smoked for a long, long time. i saw all sorts of horrible pictures, videos, etc. it didn't change anything, not one bit.

I have to agree with all the PP's who have suggested that if this is as big a deal to you as your OP made it sound, he can either choose to stop smoking in the house, or you can help him find a place where he can smoke indoors. This is the only thing that will get him to stop smoking inside.

[EFmom]

Originally Posted by MadiMamacita

i have been reading this thread, but havent commented until now.
this will not work. i smoked for a long, long time. i saw all sorts of horrible pictures, videos, etc. it didn't change anything, not one bit.

My FIL was a heavy smoker after he got out of the Army. He went through med school, and seeing the lungs of smokers is what made him quit.