A few people have mentioned that it's time for the kid to find his own way, stretch his wings, gain independence, etc. This is the same community that encourages extended breastfeeding and co-sleeping, both of which the mainstream community tends to see as over-the-top. But it's somehow over-the-top for a 20yo to still be living at home??? This particular point I'm making has nothing to do with the smoking situation (which is why I stated in my last post that it was tangential). I'm talking about attitudes regarding family, in general. What's wrong with living together if it works for everyone?