Originally Posted by BedHead
Would you all kick your dp out of the house if they smoked in the house, but other than that you had a great relationship?
Yes. If I had asked him repeatedly to stop, if it bothered my lungs, affected our children, etc., yet he continued to persist doing something he KNEW offended us and hurt us. Because you know what? That would mean we would NOT have a great relationship. It would mean I thought
we had a great relationship on my end, but on his end he was happy just to do as he pleased, make empty promises, and walk all over me.
That's just disrespectful.
|Or would you try and work out a solution?
Isn't that what you've been doing? And he agrees but then changes his mind? It sounds like your solutions aren't working and he knows you aren't going to do anything "real" about it.
|At what age exactly does the gentle discipline end and the harda$$ parent emerge then?
Gentle discipline, I'm sure, doesn't mean allowing oneself to be a doormat and enabling adult children.
Being a parent means more than just coddling someone's destructive behaviors, esp when those behaviors affect the rest of the family. Sometimes it's about doing what you know you need to do to make an adult child "grow up" and be accountable.
|I'm not going to kick him out of the house just BOOM like that - surely people can take that at face value and try to offer constructive solutions instead of telling me if I won't kick him out I'm letting him walk all over me.
No one's telling you to BOOM - kick him out. They are telling you to give him two options. They are:
1. This is my roof, respect it and do your smoking OUTDOORS or in the GARAGE.
2. If you cannot respect my rules, find another place to live.
The choice is on HIM, not on you. You make the rules, he gets to pick which one he wants to live with.