Do you play a lot with your kids? - Page 2

[dantesmama]

When they were babies, yes. Now? Nope. They're 2 and 4 and they entertain themselves quite nicely. We read, draw, bake, go on walks, etc together, but I don't get down on the floor and play very often. Drives me batty! They love roughhousing with Daddy though.

[meemee]

i loooooooooooove playing with my dd.

i spent an ENORMOUS amount of time with her right from childhood.

the house can wait.

however at 3 housework WAS play for her so i got a lot done. for instance by 2 she was doing the laundry all by herself.

honestly i didnt care about balance. i always chose time with dd rather than a picked up house. however somehow things DID get picked up by the end of the day - not perfectly, but somehow it all got done.

so somedays i found the balance. somedays i didnt.

today dd is 7. my house looks almost perfect. however i rarely get to spend much time with her except bedtime yeah she has grown up. HOWEVER we both read the same books (right now she is reading a periodic table book and i am studying chemistry) and that creates a connection. however i dont spend that kind of time with her anymore.

[leahmn12]

I can really relate to this issue. My DS (25 months), LOVES to have me play with him...all day long. When my house is in order, I'm happy to sit down and play "kitchen", or play-doh etc. But when my environment is in disarray, I find it hard to be present with our activity, and he knows it. It does help to get him involved with my chores, even though it takes twice as long. Sometimes I'll tell him to do something by himself while I complete a task, then we can do something together. However, I think in his mind, what he mostly hears from me is "In a minute, hang on, not now, you have to wait, please be patient, we'll see, etc..." I feel so guilty for all of the putting off I do with him, he just wants to play with me for crying out loud, is that so much to ask? I also feel very guilty about not getting outside enough. Right now, when it's 20 below I have a good excuse, but even when the weather is mild, I have a tendency to find any number of other things to do indoors. I've gotta work on that

When I was a kid, my mom NEVER played with us, in fact I think my mom thinks it's absurd to play "with" children. But I also read the aforementioned book "Playful Parenting", and it is VERY inspiring when it comes to this topic. Also, my partner is naturally very playful, and it is so obvious how much children adore this quality. It's a tough balance for sure.

[overseasmomma]

I play with my kids alot. We go to the park, go for walks, play inside and goof around. But, they know that when I'm in the kitchen behind the gates, I am busy and cooking dinner or doing the dishes and cannot play at that time. So, I do carve out some time during the day to get chores done. Or leave some things for after they are asleep. When it was just Dd1 it was really hard to ask her to play alone but once the twins came along, they play amazingly well together and that frees me up to do housework.

However, I remember my mother NEVER playing with me as a kid and I have no warm memories of her reading to me or playing make believe games and such. I think she thought that because I was the youngest of 4 children, that she didnt have to play with me as my brothers and sisters were always around. But, they constantly left me behind in the dust as I was the smallest and slowest. She did involve us in the housework (cooking, cleaning, etc but i never thought of it as play) and we did lots of family activities together like picnics but she never 'played' or did something 'silly' to make us laugh or anything. Because I wish my mom had made the time to play with me as a child I make a concerted effort to incorporate playtime with my kids every day even if its just for 5 or 10 minutes here and there throughout the day. I have to say that this ability to 'play' seems to come naturally to some and not to others. I don't
love playing with my kids but I make an effort to because their little faces light up when I grab a book and say it's storytime, or when I get on the floor and rough house with them, etc. Totally worth the effort!

[Alyantavid]

No.

I do, absolutely, but all day long? No way. My kids are great about playing by themselves or with each other. I don't think you have to play with your kids constantly to give them a great childhood. We do lots of stuff, but it doesn't all involve me sitting on the floor playing.

[Marylizah]

Originally Posted by zinemama

No.

I Involve them in stuff I do - cooking, folding laundry, etc. I read to them a lot. I will help set up craft projects. But I don't play with them and never have, really. They are 6 and 9 now and are great independent players.

I don't enjoy getting down on the floor and doing legos or that sort of thing and don't consider it part of my job.

This exactly, except that my son is only 3.5. He plays very well by himself.

[hottmama]

I don't really play with them much. They play with each other and their toys. When my oldest is at school, my 4yo reads, does puzzles, plays on the computer or with his toys by himself. I do like to play sports with them (throw a football around, backyard soccer, go swimming or ice skating), and go hiking, canoeing, camping, etc. so I think they'll have good memories of that sort of thing.

[becoming]

I do try to play with each of them or all of them together at least for a little while each day. DS1 & I both love video games, so we play Wii together or take turns playing this Pacman Plug-N-Play game we have. DD loves loves loves to be read to, so I try to make sure I read to her for 20 or 30 minutes each day. DS2 really doesn't play at things that I can join in with... he mostly just likes to be where I am, doing whatever I'm doing (he's 2 1/2).

Mostly, though, like others have said upthread, I make sure I involve them in the things that I'm doing around the house -- cooking, cleaning, etc.

[muttmom92]

I'm another one that doesn't play all day with my kids. They entertain one another most of the time.

I do involve them with cooking and laundry. We read together, draw together, and do puzzles. I'll be the patient while they are the doctors. But I just don't like doing pretend play and I don't have the time to spend all day entertaining them.

I don't remember playing with my mom, but I do have great memories of cooking with her and snuggling with her. I don't think I'm scarring my children by not playing with them.

[NYCVeg]

Originally Posted by muttmom92

I'm another one that doesn't play all day with my kids. They entertain one another most of the time.

I do involve them with cooking and laundry. We read together, draw together, and do puzzles. I'll be the patient while they are the doctors. But I just don't like doing pretend play and I don't have the time to spend all day entertaining them.

I don't remember playing with my mom, but I do have great memories of cooking with her and snuggling with her. I don't think I'm scarring my children by not playing with them.

I'm not totally clear on the distinction you're making. You read with them, draw with them, do puzzles with them, play doctor with them--how is that NOT playing with them? In any event, I don't think any one plays "all day"--we all have other stuff to do.

[RiverSky]

My children are 8 and 10 and I don't really play with them anymore, except for reading books to them, or listening to books, playing board games and doing things like riding bikes or going to playgrounds. I'm also an unschooling mom, so I facilitate their interests and take them to clubs, classes, playdates, sports, music lessons, etc. I also sit with them every day for their instrument practices, if you can call that playing.

When I had 3 year olds, I did play with them for hours each day. I cleaned while they napped and at night, while daddy did their bath and story times. I also set up playdates and went to moms club so that they had other children to play with, to give myself a little break on occasion.

[becoming]

Originally Posted by NYCVeg

I'm not totally clear on the distinction you're making. You read with them, draw with them, do puzzles with them, play doctor with them--how is that NOT playing with them? In any event, I don't think any one plays "all day"--we all have other stuff to do.

I agree. This stuff, to me, is playing with them. If you're doing all this on a daily basis, I think you're playing with them quite a lot actually!

[Latte Mama]

Sigh, I need to play more. I took him outside to the park LOTS in the summer. But now I feel tired and achy so much and COLD. He's getting some new stuff from family for Christmas and we got him 1 big present so we'll have fun playing with that stuff. Most of the time I find it hard to keep him interested in anything for more than a few minutes. He's really more into active type stuff and space is limited.

The other issue is that DH is in school and this past semester has wreaked havoc with our work schedules. The end result is that I've had to bring work home which has cut into playtime too. I'm so glad this semester is just about over and we'll get some times back. I do enjoy playing with DS though I can't do it for hours and hours. Not inside anyway.

[lach]

Yes, that's why I had kids I like playing, usually.

Reading the answers from people who don't play but their kids help them with the housework is kind of eye opening, though. Maybe that's why my house is such a mess. I'd much rather play with DC than fold the giant pile of laundry that's currently sitting on my bed. Hmmm.

[muttmom92]

Originally Posted by NYCVeg

I'm not totally clear on the distinction you're making. You read with them, draw with them, do puzzles with them, play doctor with them--how is that NOT playing with them? In any event, I don't think any one plays "all day"--we all have other stuff to do.

Ok. I guess you're right. I was thinking along the lines of pretend play like dolls, playing with their kitchen set, playmobile sets. I'm not sure why though. I just HATE doing that stuff. The only reason I don't mind playing doctor with them is they let me just lie there an be the patient.

I hope I didn't offend anyone. I just do think it's important for children to figure out their own entertainment sometimes.