I was taken by surprise today, I was sharply reprimanded for not agreeing to use an additional cover when breastfeeding without a single mm of flesh on display.
I was meeting with my pastor (male) and his assistant (female) in his office, I've nursed there several times before and a couple of weeks ago there was an email sent that had actually said that of course nursing was welcome in church if we ourselves were comfortable.
A little after a began nursing, the woman suddenly jumped up and said she'd find something to cover me, my first response was to say no need, thanks, but she insisted, so when she dropped it on my, I removed it and again said no thanks and stated that I do not use a cover when nursing - this is something I have thought about a fair amount and have decided that it is simply a no go area for me.
I wouldn't have been at all happy if the response to that had been to say ok, that's your choice, this is my office, you're welcome to come back in when you've finished, but it would have been a lot better than what did happen.
The conversation kept jumping between the issue of me nursing there and then and nursing in church, so it's hard to say exactly what was a response to what, but voices were raised and none of them were mine, I should submit to spiritual authority, being loving and be considerate to the needs of others etc.
Apparently men have been complaining to the pastor about women nursing and thus he felt we should use covers to avoid any risk, I felt they were just so ticked off that I'd stood up to them that they ignored me mentioning that a cover could be difficult to use and didn't remove any risk as I've seen just as much, if not more when a cover has been used.
At some point I brought up the law, we're in WA so a law protecting bfing came into action on 26th July this year, I felt harrassed, it seemed a reasonable way to defend oneself, but apparently the law is irrelevant, there was mention that they will be creating a bfing policy and that the email that had gone out (it was from the nursery coordinator) had been approved by them, they didn't seem to get that the law protects me whether I cover up or not as they argued that I wasn't being told not to breastfeed and obviously as they had more experience than me I should defer to them, sure, his wife fed 5 kids, she herself said she'd fed 4 for 2 years each and had been part of LLL. All of that made it worse as it's not like they are lacking in knowledge and need to be educated.
I do agree with the basic premise of making compromises for the weaker brother, but I do struggle with the idea that any of these men genuinely found it caused them a struggle, rather than that they feared it would because they were conditioned by society to think that way. I also feel that if I were to say I struggled with something that it being something less acceptable to have a problem with that it wouldn't be treated like this, like if I said I had a problem with the pastor wearing flip flops because I had an unusual foot fetish (I don't, btw), I'd probably be laughed at rather than every man wearing flip flops be told to cover them up.
I don't think either of them even know I'm involved with LLL, they do know I went the extra mile to get DD on to the breast as they saw us tube feeding her for a couple of months, but I was treated as if I was being completely non compromising on a single issue and was basically being very unchristian about the whole thing.
So it seems like they likely will bring in an official policy of having to cover up other than in the nursing room (new as of a couple of weeks ago, hence the email), which I have a huge problem with, because regardless of my own personal feeling about covering up, I don't believe covering up is a universal solution, it's entirely possible you'd see less of me without a cover than another woman with one, but if I point that out and it's accepted, then potentially nursing would be restricted to the nursing room, which could no way accomodate all the nursing mums in the church either comfortably or uncomfortably and personally I actually feel less comfortable nursing in a nursing room than I do sat in a row of seats where no one is facing towards me!
Just to add to all my hurt and emotion, the pastor then told my husband, but didn't present the truth of what happened, just told him that I had a disrespectful attitude, which given that things are hard between us right now is just adding material to the fire.
I've no idea how to approach this, I suspect of the current nursing mums that I probably am the only one who feels particularly strongly about it and I daren't mention it to anyone because it would be seen as devisive, which I'm not trying to be. We were told the nursing room was opened because people were going in and out of the regular nursery too often and it was disturbing the older babies and toddlers, which indicates that most other nursing mums don't feel comfortable nursing in church to begin with.
I was meeting with my pastor (male) and his assistant (female) in his office, I've nursed there several times before and a couple of weeks ago there was an email sent that had actually said that of course nursing was welcome in church if we ourselves were comfortable.
A little after a began nursing, the woman suddenly jumped up and said she'd find something to cover me, my first response was to say no need, thanks, but she insisted, so when she dropped it on my, I removed it and again said no thanks and stated that I do not use a cover when nursing - this is something I have thought about a fair amount and have decided that it is simply a no go area for me.
I wouldn't have been at all happy if the response to that had been to say ok, that's your choice, this is my office, you're welcome to come back in when you've finished, but it would have been a lot better than what did happen.
The conversation kept jumping between the issue of me nursing there and then and nursing in church, so it's hard to say exactly what was a response to what, but voices were raised and none of them were mine, I should submit to spiritual authority, being loving and be considerate to the needs of others etc.
Apparently men have been complaining to the pastor about women nursing and thus he felt we should use covers to avoid any risk, I felt they were just so ticked off that I'd stood up to them that they ignored me mentioning that a cover could be difficult to use and didn't remove any risk as I've seen just as much, if not more when a cover has been used.
At some point I brought up the law, we're in WA so a law protecting bfing came into action on 26th July this year, I felt harrassed, it seemed a reasonable way to defend oneself, but apparently the law is irrelevant, there was mention that they will be creating a bfing policy and that the email that had gone out (it was from the nursery coordinator) had been approved by them, they didn't seem to get that the law protects me whether I cover up or not as they argued that I wasn't being told not to breastfeed and obviously as they had more experience than me I should defer to them, sure, his wife fed 5 kids, she herself said she'd fed 4 for 2 years each and had been part of LLL. All of that made it worse as it's not like they are lacking in knowledge and need to be educated.
I do agree with the basic premise of making compromises for the weaker brother, but I do struggle with the idea that any of these men genuinely found it caused them a struggle, rather than that they feared it would because they were conditioned by society to think that way. I also feel that if I were to say I struggled with something that it being something less acceptable to have a problem with that it wouldn't be treated like this, like if I said I had a problem with the pastor wearing flip flops because I had an unusual foot fetish (I don't, btw), I'd probably be laughed at rather than every man wearing flip flops be told to cover them up.
I don't think either of them even know I'm involved with LLL, they do know I went the extra mile to get DD on to the breast as they saw us tube feeding her for a couple of months, but I was treated as if I was being completely non compromising on a single issue and was basically being very unchristian about the whole thing.
So it seems like they likely will bring in an official policy of having to cover up other than in the nursing room (new as of a couple of weeks ago, hence the email), which I have a huge problem with, because regardless of my own personal feeling about covering up, I don't believe covering up is a universal solution, it's entirely possible you'd see less of me without a cover than another woman with one, but if I point that out and it's accepted, then potentially nursing would be restricted to the nursing room, which could no way accomodate all the nursing mums in the church either comfortably or uncomfortably and personally I actually feel less comfortable nursing in a nursing room than I do sat in a row of seats where no one is facing towards me!
Just to add to all my hurt and emotion, the pastor then told my husband, but didn't present the truth of what happened, just told him that I had a disrespectful attitude, which given that things are hard between us right now is just adding material to the fire.
I've no idea how to approach this, I suspect of the current nursing mums that I probably am the only one who feels particularly strongly about it and I daren't mention it to anyone because it would be seen as devisive, which I'm not trying to be. We were told the nursing room was opened because people were going in and out of the regular nursery too often and it was disturbing the older babies and toddlers, which indicates that most other nursing mums don't feel comfortable nursing in church to begin with.
I cant tell you what to do but if it where me that would be the last time my shadow ever darkened the door of that church. 
Jesus was BF. true true..... YOur post cracked me up!
- I'd join you! I think I'd send along a classic da Vinci...
very well put!
