getting 10 week old to nap in crib with big sis around

[llwr]

I've been wearing DD2 a LOT since she was about 3 wks old. She stopped napping well alone about that time and DH was back to work. It lets me get by with DD1 (2 1/2), and I like the closeness of it.

She does GREAT in the frontpack. We have a pretty good routine and she naps like a dream.

BUT, she grows more everyday. It's getting hard on my back and limits what I can do. I'd like to have more alone time with DD1 as well. If I could only wear her for one or even two naps a day, it would really help me out.

Now, I know how I'd go about this if DD2 were my only child, but I'm having trouble figuring out how it will ever work with DD1 around. She's 2 1/2 and really needs me right now. She has the hard age, is adjusting to being a big sister, already dropped her nap, and is scared (and milking it) since she had a bad nightmare.

If I put DD2 in bed, she'll wake up in 10 minutes. If she falls asleep in the swing, I'll usually get 30. The carseat varies.

At night there's a point between 9 and 11pm where she stays asleep in the bed. Before that it's the 10 minute thing again.

I was thinking on maybe just working on one nap a day. I'd start with the last one first, so especially if it didn't work, she wouldn't be in the frontpack until the next day and wouldn't be overtired the rest of the day.

But I really don't know what to do about DD1. It seems totally unrealistic for me keep her quiet and spend lots of time trying to get DD2 to sleep alone.

And I'm not that motivated to change when it's basically working in the frontpack. I just really need a little more time and my back won't last a whole lot longer.

Any suggestions?

[Xerxella]

Our kids are about the same ages and it's tough. I've had luck encouraging my son to take a rest. It was hard at first, but totally worth it. You have to somehow make it a benefit to take a rest. With my son, I give him a bottle of milk. (I know there are people out there who are shocked, but it works for us.) He loves getting his bottle and it's the only way he drinks milk. So, the deal is, if he wants his bottle, he must be laying down in bed to get it. Then when he finishes his bottle he can get up. This takes about 20-30 minutes. This gives me the time to get my DD down to nap and lay her down in the crib. Then I have maybe an hour of good play time with him and she gets the much needed nap. I'll also use the car if needed and my son and I will go see trains (a favorite activity). In good weather, we can park by the train tracks, sit on a bench and watch the trains go by while DD sleeps in the car. Sometimes, we just stay in the car or go back home and leave daughter to sleep in the car. (attached garage)

[Pavlovs]

I'm certainly no expert, but I don't think it's healthy for a young infant to get only one nap per day. Perhaps trying a different kind of carrier that doesn't hurt your back would help? I use a wrap and can carry my 17 pound 5 month old for an hour easily while I get things done around the house (or shop) while he gets a really good nap. I couldn't do it with sling, though. Try different carriers and see what works for you.

I'm guessing you've tried swaddling, but want to throw that out there just in case. My babe can't sleep much without a tight swaddle (and a binky, but that's another story).

Good luck to you, mama - it's so hard when the baby doesn't get enough sleep!

[Aufilia]

Are you swaddling her for bed naps? I'm assuming so but juts checking.... also what works best for DS is if I pre-install a Swaddle Me swaddler in his swing (thread the crotch buckle through), wrap just once in a band of receiving blanket while he's nursing to sleep, then unwrap him, set im int he swing, and swaddle him up really quick with the Swaddle Me, then buckle over it and start the swing.

Have you tried white noise in whatever room the crib is in?

[elmh23]

Okay so what I did is probably going to seem very anti-AP or at least a lot of what AP people like to do.

I'd sit on the couch and get ds to sleep while a movie played for dd. Usually something short like a Backyardigans episode or Winnie the Pooh. Always dvds so I could turn them off when I wanted to. Then after ds had fallen asleep, I'd move him on to the couch and he'd sleep there for an hour. If I'd done this on my bed, he'd have woken within half an hour. Then dd and I would play something in front of the couch (ds didn't need quiet to sleep though) or go in to the kitchen and do something.

It worked well for us, but if you're anti-TV you might have a problem with it. Good luck!

[koalove]

in my houe we have a basket of special items/activities that ds1 can only do while im with ds2. this can be during feeding times, trying to get ds2 to sleep, giving him a bath, or whatever. make it very special and switch the items in it often. we have a stash and i take some stuff out and put it away for a while and whn ds1 gets tired of the current items, i put the thes back. sometimes i even borrow or trade toys with my friends wh have kids so its a totally new toy hes never seen, and then hes really excited! we also put on movies at times.

[llwr]

She does get more than 1 nap a day -- I'd just like to get to where she's only being worn for one and the others are alone.

I do swaddle most of the time -- it doesn't really work in a carseat or swing.

She's slowly improving; I'm trying to be patient since she's not really causing any problems and seems to be slowly getting better. DD1 wouldn't sleep anywhere, anytime, so I was forced to really work on it and even though I know DD2 would respond better, I'm not anxious to go back there.

When I start working harder on the crib I'll definately use the suggestions to keep DD1 occupied.

[Punchy Kaby]

10 weeks old is still very young, things are changing everyday! I would try a nap by herself for the first nap of the day, when she is the most well rested and hopefully happiest. Swaddling helped here. Have you read any sleep books like the No Cry Sleep Solution?

My DD did not like to nap any longer than 30 minutes. Each day I worked with her to get her to sleep more independently. She lengthened her naps to 45 minutes and now she usually gets 1 2-hr nap a day and 1 or 2 45 minute naps. If you ever have the possibility of getting help with your 2.5 yr old so you can help the baby learn to nap (even if it is just on the weekend with your DH home.) I stayed in the room with DD often when she was that young. Now we hold her a few minutes and place her in her crib (often sitting up.) and 'I love you, have a good nap, see you in a bit' and that's it.

I know sleeping alone like this is not very AP but there are other things pulling at my attention, DH stays home with them often and they go to daycare part time so napping on their own was a necessity. DS and I will have special play time while DD is napping.