Should my daughter's doll look like her?

[aleciasmiles]

I'm about to buy a doll for my almost-four-year-old daughter. The one I chose doesn't really look like her. The hair and eye color are different. I'm just wondering if mamas could share their experiences in this area. I'm going back and forth about ordering the one that looks (kind of) like her or if I should stick with my original choice. By the way, the one I'm looking at is the Nova Natural Big Friend doll. Thanks.

[nathansmum]

I bought my 4yr old dd a doll that doesn't look like her. DD has light brown hair and her doll has long black hair. I never really thought about though lol. I bought it for the "friend" factor, and I guess we don't go around expecting our friends to all be or look like us. I vote go with your original choice.

[AutumnW]

It depends on your point of view. If you are buying a friend or just a toy then go with what you think. If you are going with the waldorf philosophy then the doll should look like the child because they are supposed to act as an alternate persona for the child that the child can give the emotions that they are feeling etc.

[doubledutch]

Originally Posted by mariew

If you are going with the waldorf philosophy then the doll should look like the child because they are supposed to act as an alternate persona for the child that the child can give the emotions that they are feeling etc.

i think that's really cool, but i want to offer the op reassurance that my kiddos do this with any stuffed animal - it doesn't have to look like them for them to relate to it.

[E.V. Lowi]

A doll does not have to look like the child for the child to relate to the doll.

[34me]

My dd had dolls that looked like her (red hair) and others that didn't.

[Dar]

At 4 the doll I remember my daughter (blonde hair, white skin, blue eyes) choosing for herself had black hair, brown skin, and brown eyes...

[duchessM]

When I was a kid, I loved Barbie dolls even though I knew I don't look like her. But I dreamed to be like her. Lol

[SeekingJoy]

DD (2, but very into elaborate, complex pretend play) has a mama-made Waldorf-ish doll that looks similar to her and a red haird Haba one that doesn't. Her favorite is the Haba one. I think it is because the Haba one has more clothes to change into.

[HollyBaby]

Unless there's a specific need, like Waldorf, already mentioned, then there's no need for all your daughter's dolls to have her same hair/eye/skin color. Personally I favor a variety of these things.

[E.V. Lowi]

Originally Posted by HollyBaby

Unless there's a specific need, like Waldorf, already mentioned, then there's no need for all your daughter's dolls to have her same hair/eye/skin color. Personally I favor a variety of these things.

I make Waldorf dolls and my daughter attended Waldorf school. Even in the kindergarden and hand work classes, I never heard anything from anyone about the importance of having the doll look exactly like the child. Is this something that Rudolf Steiner stressed? If so, I never heard or read it anywhere.

We learned about the significance of the doll in a child's play and what the features are simple or even non-existent, why high quality and natural fibers are so important, but no mention of this look alike issue. I have heard many Waldorf proponents talk about the importance of the bond between child and doll and that a child should be able to choose the doll that speaks to them, if possible and that any bond that a child has with a doll, regardless or the type of doll it is, should be respected even if the doll is plastic.

[aleciasmiles]

Thanks everyone for your responses! I ended up sticking with the doll I had picked out, but my daughter wasn't into it at all. We took it back and let her choose the one she wanted. Which, in case anyone's wondering, doesn't look like her I'm just happy has a doll she likes.

[E.V. Lowi]

Glad to hear it! At the risk of seeming nosey, can I ask-- just out of curiosity, what did she pick?