Hello all,
I have a ten week old baby boy who was born at home. We have shared a bed since the night he was born. He has a "snuggle nest" where he starts the night (in his cradle in our room at around 7 or 8pm) and then when he wakes up to nurse around two hours later I am usually ready for bed and take him in with me.
Except for the last 2 nights when he has not fallen asleep at night until I give in and take him into bed. Even though I am not ready for bed, and it is the only time of day I have with my husband.
He nurses every two hours during the day. I am not sure how much he nurses at night because he kind of "helps himself" and I don't always wake up 100%. In fact, I think he sometimes stays latched on for an hour or more.
I have been waking up with an awful backache in the morning because of the constant nursing. Also some mornings my nipples feel very sore in the mornings - like he's been chewing on them all night.
I have no support (other than my husband) IRL. In fact, my sister told me that co sleeping is "tantamount to murder--because it is that unsafe" I go to a bi-weekly moms group comprised of women from my prenatal yoga class and 2/3 of the moms have nannies. None cosleep, so when I pose a question I get responses like, "I need sex. No baby in my bed" (Real helpful...)
Sorry this is long - here are my questions:
1. To get him to nap I put him in the moby or drive him or walk with stroller. Twice he napped in his bouncy chair in the bathroom while I showered. He is 10 weeks and just accepted the chair. For a long time he would cry if I tried to put him down. My husband and I spent days holding him and bouncing on yoga ball. Exhausting. He still often fusses when I transition him from one place to another - but sometimes settles himself and even starts to smile and laugh. I have asked other moms what they do and get blank stares. "My baby is a good baby" they say. "My daughter doesn't cry. Her needs are met." I ask my mom and she says "it's because you never put him down and sleep with him. You are creating a monster." So, is it normal for him to fuss (and sometimes cry his eyes out) when I transition him into car seat or lay him down or take him out of the bathtub (he screams bloody murder-I know it's going from warm water to cooler air so I use space heaters etc but he still cries most times- so I spend many hours of the day soothing his cries. People here just keep saying " I can't help you I have a GOOD baby, or a HAPPY baby" My mother says "probably something you ate disagrees with him." How do I know if it's his disposition or something I am doing or an allergy?
2. When he is unhappy his cry is very intense. And he turns on a dime. He can be smiling and then pow! upset. My husband tells me it's normal for little babies to cry but often I find myself asking the baby "what happened?" because he starts to scream. Sometimes things he loved yesterday make him scream like he is on fire (infant massage for example) Or he can be enjoying himself and then literally burst into tears. Also his little bottom lip will jut into a pout out of the blue and then he will fuss. Usually when I see the lip, I sing to him, or change the activity or try to get him to sleep, or do something engaging and it prevents a fuss becoming a meltdown. I am just making this mothering up as I go along. I feel like I am posting what people say to me, but it is effecting me soooooo much. About his cries -- other mamas and papas have said to me "my newborn never sounded that upset." (!) or "well, he sure has a busy mama, I never have to work that hard to make my baby happy" Case in point-it has taken me 2 days to compose this post. Sometimes he gets so worked up it makes me cry. It sounds stupid to ask but-do 10 week olds cry for unknown reasons?? Do all the people I know have selective memories or is there something wrong with my guy? I know that comparison is the killer of happiness but I need a ref point. I am starting to feel like I am walking on eggshells with my boy.
Thank you in advance.
I have a ten week old baby boy who was born at home. We have shared a bed since the night he was born. He has a "snuggle nest" where he starts the night (in his cradle in our room at around 7 or 8pm) and then when he wakes up to nurse around two hours later I am usually ready for bed and take him in with me.
Except for the last 2 nights when he has not fallen asleep at night until I give in and take him into bed. Even though I am not ready for bed, and it is the only time of day I have with my husband.
He nurses every two hours during the day. I am not sure how much he nurses at night because he kind of "helps himself" and I don't always wake up 100%. In fact, I think he sometimes stays latched on for an hour or more.
I have been waking up with an awful backache in the morning because of the constant nursing. Also some mornings my nipples feel very sore in the mornings - like he's been chewing on them all night.
I have no support (other than my husband) IRL. In fact, my sister told me that co sleeping is "tantamount to murder--because it is that unsafe" I go to a bi-weekly moms group comprised of women from my prenatal yoga class and 2/3 of the moms have nannies. None cosleep, so when I pose a question I get responses like, "I need sex. No baby in my bed" (Real helpful...)
Sorry this is long - here are my questions:
1. To get him to nap I put him in the moby or drive him or walk with stroller. Twice he napped in his bouncy chair in the bathroom while I showered. He is 10 weeks and just accepted the chair. For a long time he would cry if I tried to put him down. My husband and I spent days holding him and bouncing on yoga ball. Exhausting. He still often fusses when I transition him from one place to another - but sometimes settles himself and even starts to smile and laugh. I have asked other moms what they do and get blank stares. "My baby is a good baby" they say. "My daughter doesn't cry. Her needs are met." I ask my mom and she says "it's because you never put him down and sleep with him. You are creating a monster." So, is it normal for him to fuss (and sometimes cry his eyes out) when I transition him into car seat or lay him down or take him out of the bathtub (he screams bloody murder-I know it's going from warm water to cooler air so I use space heaters etc but he still cries most times- so I spend many hours of the day soothing his cries. People here just keep saying " I can't help you I have a GOOD baby, or a HAPPY baby" My mother says "probably something you ate disagrees with him." How do I know if it's his disposition or something I am doing or an allergy?
2. When he is unhappy his cry is very intense. And he turns on a dime. He can be smiling and then pow! upset. My husband tells me it's normal for little babies to cry but often I find myself asking the baby "what happened?" because he starts to scream. Sometimes things he loved yesterday make him scream like he is on fire (infant massage for example) Or he can be enjoying himself and then literally burst into tears. Also his little bottom lip will jut into a pout out of the blue and then he will fuss. Usually when I see the lip, I sing to him, or change the activity or try to get him to sleep, or do something engaging and it prevents a fuss becoming a meltdown. I am just making this mothering up as I go along. I feel like I am posting what people say to me, but it is effecting me soooooo much. About his cries -- other mamas and papas have said to me "my newborn never sounded that upset." (!) or "well, he sure has a busy mama, I never have to work that hard to make my baby happy" Case in point-it has taken me 2 days to compose this post. Sometimes he gets so worked up it makes me cry. It sounds stupid to ask but-do 10 week olds cry for unknown reasons?? Do all the people I know have selective memories or is there something wrong with my guy? I know that comparison is the killer of happiness but I need a ref point. I am starting to feel like I am walking on eggshells with my boy.
Thank you in advance.
I'm going to be saying this a lot, I love how you put this!
