advice and feedback needed, HS and speech delay

[iris777888]

I wasn't sure where to post this. Please advise if it would be better elsewhere, but I just couldn't see where it fit in!

Our future plans will see us traveling a lot, necessitating homeschooling. It is something we will need to do and had strongly considered even before the travel possibility arose. Our DS has an expressive speech delay. He is bright and ahead in other areas, but is far behind age level (he's almost three) with his speaking. He's had speech therapy through our state's early intervention program with a local SLP for six months or so and is making little progress. Since he's aging out from EI in about two months, they want us to consider next steps.

One thing they strongly suggested is a local preschool that is specifically for kids with speech delay, but otherwise developing appropriately (so they won't be dealing with other things at the same time). It is a subset of our local university's speech and hearing center and is staffed by people trained as both educators and SLPs and assisted by college students training in that area. They recommended he attend half days. It sounds like they typically get very good results with this place.

I'm torn. I think he could get a lot of something like this. including the chance to interact with peers and the chance for more intensive therapy with a variety of trained SLPs as opposed to just the perspective of the one that sees him twice a month. However, it puts him in someone else's hands, in a school setting, which we had not intended to do. We had intended to enroll him in the occasional class but at this point they'd still be the kinds of things where he's be accompanied by a parent for an hour or so, not be dropped off.

I'm wondering about the potential downsides of sending him to a preschool, especially the potential for having a negative affect on future learning. Is this a big enough amount of time to have a major impact? Are we going to have to deal with a certain level of deprogramming? I think I'm concerned about all the things in the preschool that I had hoped in some capacity to avoid by homeschooling - punitive discipline, discouraging learning by making him learn stuff he's not ready for, making everyone learn the same thing no matter what their interest, sit still, etc. We'd still do our thing at home, the other 1/2 of the day, but may not have time or funds to do the other classes we had hoped to do.

Is there anyone that can give me the benefit of their experience dealing with a similar situation or speak to how this might affect his learning overall? Anyone with other general advice or things for us to consider? I think I just need an outside perspective.

[Lillian J]

My son's experience with a preschool is more general - it wasn't a specialized one. It was all play and games, and the teachers were all very upbeat and nurturing, referring to the children as their "friends," and treating them with respect and caring. After preschool, I gave up on schools, though - because it was one hassle after another in the two private schools he went to for kindergarten and then 1st grade. Preschool caused no problems at all, but behavior was strained and changed in those later school situations - however, he was back to his sweet old self when I went to homeschooling after 1st grade.

I'm running in a hurry, but I'm going to give you a link to web page that list lots of special needs resources, and maybe you'll come across something that might be of some help:
Homeschooling with special challenges - some of this applies to CA, but most is applicable to any situation.

I'd go ahead and get all the help you think will be beneficial before you start traveling, but preschool in itself shouldn't be a problem unless there are study stresses or negative social interactions there. Lillian

[Momma Aimee]

i will write more on Monday.

We are on the same road.

DS1 is 4 and his expressive speech is now ONLY 2 years behind

DS2 is 2 and alsp expressive delayed ....

They have been pushing us (well some have, others have been great) to put Theo is preschool for the same reason .. we have refused and we are happy to have kept refuseing.

more monday

[kittie313]

When I have more opportunity, I'll come back too. My 3yo dd is speech delayed, she was a non-talker at 2yo and now has a lot of clarity issues (she is catching up, her vocabulary is improving nicely but even I have trouble understanding her most of the time so they are keeping the delay label on her for now) She's never been in preschool, but we considered the local Head Start preschool next school year for her (decided against it though just yesterday) The ped pushed it a little bit, but hasn't been too firm because Kimmy is making progress without a lot of outside interventions.

Right now that child is learning her letter sounds and working on counting, and since starting to work on letter sounds she has made huge leaps in her clarity.

[annethcz]

My oldest child went to preschool at age 3 and had a BLAST. It didn't affect future learning or homeschooling at all. I think that play-based preschool is great. 2 or 3 mornings a week to play, do crafts, sing songs, and make friends would be great for kids of ANY age, I think. I've always thought that preschool is pretty similar to what we did at the HS co-ops that we were involved in.

As long as it is a play-based preschool, I wouldn't expect any issues.

[OTMomma]

I think this sounds like a very special opportunity for your ds. I would give it a try, you can always pull him out if it doesn't work out. Most likely the college students will be very enthusiastic and the specialized teachers will adapt the curriculum to your child's needs more than any other place would.

[goobergrl6]

ok this may get long LOL

My middle son is 4, just turned 4 at the end of Oct. I have an almost 6 yo we homeschool. Anyway the 4 yo has a MAJOR speech delay. When we had him tested (started it at the end of May) he was only saying a FEW words. Not calling me mom, ect. MAYBE 20 words used on a consistant basis....and that may be generous. Lots of babbling ect. We had never tested him before because we planned on homeschooling and so were not worried about he compared to other kids and where the schools needed him to be. PLus we could tell he was bright. He could do puzzles VERY early, is a GREAT problem solver, ect ect. Well finally he started to get more and more frustrated so that is why we decided to get him help. Since he was over 3 it was done by Child Find which meant it was no in-home help. We were not sure if we would bring him to speech a few times a week or they would push preschool. I was honest and told them all about out desire to homeschool and not really wanting preschool but we were open to the best for him. We asked a lot of questions and finally decided that preschool was the best option for him. It is a speech based special ed preschool. There are only 3 other kids in his class and he has a teacher and assistant. He goes Wed and Fri afternoons. His IEP has him having speech 3x a month (though that might get increased soon). Last week I met with his teacher about getting him tested for SPD. While talking to her I broke into tears just thanking her and the assistant for the difference in William. I would of NEVER EVER thought just the little bit he goes would make sure a HUGE difference. He is by NO MEANS talking as much as a normal 4 yo (maybe early to mid 2 yo) but it is SO MUCH more then he was. There are more words worked into the babble. There are some 2-3 + words sentences, less fits (though we still have a bunch), life is just A LOT calmer and more fun. I really do feel we owe it to the school. Which is something I NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER (get my point LOL) though I would say! EVER! LOL We went into it thinking if it did not work for us we would pull him! I am not VERY thankful that we gave it a shot. No it is not for everyone and I look forward to the day we can yank him out and homeschool him but I know right now that school is the best place for him (another thing I NEVER thought I would say). I know with his speech delay homeschooling is just not possible now. Even though he is BRIGHT! I mean scares me bright! I am kinda glad he is non verbal because if he was I kinda worry about what he would be doing LOL (not really but you get my point). He has started counting to 20 (and that is not something we have ever worked on he just picked it up), started writing his letters on his own, and so many other things. DH and I know the only thing delayed is speech and his teachers are always telling us the same thing. That they are just SHOCKED at some of the things he does. That is the great thing about this program. There are only 4 kids in a class so they REALLY know my kid, they can help him on what HE needs help with, they work with me and listen to what I say. I mentioned him starting to write his letters all on his own and now they are working with him on that even thought it is not something they would normally do in that class. But they really are there to help HIM!

So basically I would say do it. Give it a try and see what happens. Esp if it is a small class size! If it is not a good fit you can always pull him. We do not regret this AT ALL and I do not see it hampering out homeschooling desires in the future.

Lisa

[MammaV]

My DD Roo is 8 and speech delayed. She started speech therapy when she was four and at five went 5x a week at our early education center for 2 1/2 hours a day for speech therapy. She still goes to our public school 2x a week for speech and 1x a week for grammer/syntax. It's been somewhat helpful for her to work on her challenges with someone who is not me. We had one year when she did not like her speech pathologist, but otherwise has enjoyed all her teachers. We homeschool/unschool and going to public school for speech has not affected her negatively. In fact, she loves homeschool. One benefit we've found is that because she is homeschooled, she is generally on her own with the teacher or with one or two other students and that's it. I find it nice to have the teachers resources available to me and ideas and other tools that I can implement at home to facilitate learning. We don't travel too often, but last year Roo went on four trips with her grandma during the school year for 10-14 days each. We had no problems with the absences either with the school district or with Roo loosing ground.

[iris777888]

Thank you so much for the feedback so far! It really helps to get the perspectives of like minded people. Keep it coming.

At this point I am pretty sure we are going to go for a tour and explore the option in more detail (no commitment required).

[Kreeblim]

We're currently homeschooling a 5 year old in K with a mild speech delay. It was FAR worse before attending pre-school...which he absolutely loved. It was actually a pre-K program run by our local public school district and he was provided with therapy in class twice per week.

I wouldn't really look at pre-school programs as if they were just mild versions of 1st grade. It seems like the norm in pre-schools is to be be play based, with songs and stories and art all the time. Even if they did work sheets it was just coloring pictures of letters and animals...not repeditive rote work that bores the kids to death. Check the place out because Pre-K for us worked out great even though I was dead against it in the beginning.

[lach]

I think it sounds like a great opportunity.

What are you worried about, exactly? I guess I just don't see what negative effects it could have on future learning. I'm not sure what that means? Most preschools are play-based. I mean, you might be able to find one out there where they have the kids doing worksheets in Mandarin Chinese for 5 hours a day, but every preschool I know of has mostly free play time, with some arts and crafts, music, and playground time thrown in.

Personally I'm a big fan of preschool. My daughter goes this year and my son will go in two years (he qualifies next year, but I don't think we can afford two tuitions), but I plan on homeschooling after preschool.

I think that we all have ideas about the way we want to raise our kids, and that sometimes reality gets in the way. Even if something is best for most kids (in this case, if you believe that preschool is a negative), it doesn't mean that it's best for all kids (your child has a specific challenge and would really benefit from this program). It can be really challenging as a parent to accept that sometimes, trust me I know.

[iris777888]

I am not anti preschool, the issue is that I don't know what to expect. That is a large part of why I posted, to get ideas from people about what to/to not worry about.

It helps a lot to know that most preschools are play based. I was comparing to K/1 in my head. Both DH and I had experiences early in our public school lives (K for me, 1st grade for him) where we were labeled as poor performers for not learning as quickly or in the same fashion as others. I overcame it quickly with no lasting effects and went on to excel in school, but for DH it basically ruined school for him until college when he figured out he was smart and capable after all.

In part because of that, plus articles I've read on the topic, I am very wary of a one size fits all approach to education. However, as a previous poster said, it's likely the class size would be really small with very customized learning. That makes sense given the nature of the school and what they are out to do.

You are right that we do have ideas about how we want to raise him and that may be getting in the way of what he needs. Also, I think it is a bit of a control issue for me, not specifically related to schooling. We have never left our DS with anyone that is not a family member. This would be the first time putting him in a situation that is largely outside our control.

Great advice. Thanks again.