Feeling Sad-DS weaned

[Hopefulmama]

DS is officially weaned. I nursed him for the last time yesterday. I feel wretched. I think my hormones are a mess. He is almost 21 months and my period has never returned. I have PMS and cramps and nausea. I am not having any more children and I just feel so sad about never nursing a little one again. I am relieved in some ways too. It will be nice to have a little more freedom. I just had to share-hoping someone else understands.

[Katie T]

That is sad, I know I was sad when ds weaned. Did you plan the weaning or are you sure it was the last time? I ask cause even though my 3 y weaned @ he still nurses occationally, so maybe he is just slowly weaning and youll have more time to process it all. Hugs Its hard to see them grow up.

[paulamc]

Hugs to you mama. I haven't BTDT yet, but it makes me sad to even think about that time coming.

[sonrisa8]

i really feel you.

my dd is 21 months as well, and monday was the last time for us. i had wanted to nurse longer, but had to mama-led wean her for reasons beyond my control.

i am definitely feeling a major hormone shift, pms like symptoms, tears, irritability, i'm in a really blue funk. i'm also sharing some of the sadness you talked about.

just a very strong sense of loss and grief over the end of a certain form of closeness she and i share, and the sense that i can offer her something so emotionally and physically satisfying to her.

i'm trying to let myself cry, grieve, care for myself and lean on everyone who cares about me for support.

feel free to contact me if you want to share anything, or for support, etc.

i know it will pass, and she and i will share a new kind of closeness, but that doesn't take this sadness away.

xo

[namistenicole]

It must be sad to say goodbye to something so essential to your relationship up to this point. Hugs mama.

[Hopefulmama]

Thank you all for your kind words. It's been a week, and I am feeling much better physically, emotionally, etc. DH and I actually went on a DATE tonight! DS is sleeping somewhat better now that he is weaned. He doesn't even try to nurse anymore which still makes me sad. He's forgotten...

[TiredX2]

I totally understand the mixed feelings that come with weaning, but I don't understand *why* you chose to wean a child that very young. I hope you are okay healthwise

[Materfamilias]

to you who had to wean.
I know I'm going to be a mess when DD weans.

[HappyMommy2]

To the two mama's that had to wean: would you mind sharing your methods? Tips? advice? thanks!

[Hopefulmama]

My reasons for weaning are personal. It had to be done-no way around it. DS was nursed on demand for most of his life-including numerous times/night. I feel proud of that accompishment. For those that wanted to know my methods-I gradually have been cutting back to the point where we were nursing only once/day and for bed time. DH took over bedtime for awhile. We let DS stay up late and DH held and cuddled him. He fussed a bit, but nothing like I thought he would. DH did a great job. We co-sleep, so when he would wake up and want to nurse, I would hold him and cuddle him. He slept in wrapped in my arms most of the night. The first few nights it took him maybe 5 minutes to get him back to sleep w/o nursing. Now he doesn't even wake at night and he conks out for naps on his own which he has never done. Even cutting back gradually I still got engorged. I have always had a ton of milk. So I wore a sports bra day and night for awhile and took ibuprophen. Now my supply is gone.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by Hopefulmama

My reasons for weaning are personal. It had to be done-no way around it. DS was nursed on demand for most of his life-including numerous times/night. I feel proud of that accompishment..

and so you should!

I weaned my son at 22 mos. The only regret I have is that I didn't do it a little earlier! Instead I had to wean him during pregnancy which was a miserable experience.

I hope you don't allow people to doubt your decision.

[merebella]

Hopefulmama, s to you. I'm not there yet (ds is 10 months), but teared up at your post, nonetheless. I can bet there's a real sense of loss there. Nursing for 21 months is fantastic and a great accomplishment! What a great foundation you gave him. You should be proud. Remember that that bond you have with him will always be there on some level. Your nurturing of him may take a different form, but there are countless ways you can love and care for your lo. That said, let yourself grieve and go through the process of working through those emotions. s to you again.

[floiejo2]

I just got on to post a very similar post to yours. I nursed my dd2 who is 28 mos. for the last time last night at bedtime. I have a stomach ulcer and it's hurting me so bad I really need to get it healed. There are things I have to take that aren't safe while nursing so it's time.

I'm soooo sad! I don't feel like we're done and really don't want to be. She accepted it pretty well at naptime today, we went to the store and she picked out a new big girl cup and got to use that and then snuggle with mommy and hold her nee nee's. She did fine and didn't even fuss at all. We'll see how bedtime goes tonight. But I just layed there and bawled my eyes out after she fell asleep. I know it's great to have nursed her that long, dd1 was only 18 mos when weaned. I just don't want to be done yet and am having a really hard time accepting it. So I know how you felt. How are you doing now?

[Hopefulmama]

Originally Posted by floiejo2

I just got on to post a very similar post to yours. I nursed my dd2 who is 28 mos. for the last time last night at bedtime. I have a stomach ulcer and it's hurting me so bad I really need to get it healed. There are things I have to take that aren't safe while nursing so it's time.

I'm soooo sad! I don't feel like we're done and really don't want to be. She accepted it pretty well at naptime today, we went to the store and she picked out a new big girl cup and got to use that and then snuggle with mommy and hold her nee nee's. She did fine and didn't even fuss at all. We'll see how bedtime goes tonight. But I just layed there and bawled my eyes out after she fell asleep. I know it's great to have nursed her that long, dd1 was only 18 mos when weaned. I just don't want to be done yet and am having a really hard time accepting it. So I know how you felt. How are you doing now?

Hang in there! It does get better!

Thank you to all of you for your kind words of support. I am grateful for the comfort from other mamas that understand. You are all very kind.

[Love4Vayla]

I, too, just weaned my DD (23.5 months) this past week. Christmas night was her last time nursing throughout the night. It was truly becoming unbearable and I was at my wits end with regard to living without much sleep at all and I knew she was ready for a change as well.

We originally planned to start on January 1 with my DD taking over bedtime. But I took the week prior off work and just stuck with it and focused on being empathetic and as loving as I possibly could be for her. But I was certainly not prepared for how relatively easy the whole process was going to be.

The first night at home was a little rough, but I offered her water or "moo milk" and she didn't want either. I made it a point to hold her, rock her, and sing to her as she drifted off to sleep in her own bed, which is our normal routine. About 12 a.m. she woke up and came into our bed for "milkies" but I told her that they were all gone. She fussed and screamed but settled to sleep in less than 5 minutes in our bed snuggled in the crook of my arm. She woke up another 4 - 5 times and cried for "milkies" throughout the night, but she was always in my arms while I kissed and shushed her. The next night was better, maybe 3 wake ups. The next even better. Last night, 9 nights of no milkies, she only woke up one time and literally for 30 seconds. I always keep a cup of water next to our bed. One night I gave her a bite of cracker, but she ate only a nibble.

She still asks for "milkies" every night, but only once. I just tell her that they are all gone. She seems ok with that. I rock her in my arms, rub and pat her back, and rub her hair when she's about to drift off to sleep. She's sleeping great and has boundless energy all day long. Less tantrums, too, it seems. Yay!

Best of luck to all you mommas out there. I thought this day would never come. I've perused these forums so many times looking for advice...so thank you to all of you for sharing your stories and your words of momma wisdom

[jlbaby]

i weaned DS at 26 months and also went through the heartbreak that comes with the loss. it took a while, but eventually i started feeling better about the "new phase" we entered together, as he almost immediately started sleeping better, and i became less cranky and sleep-deprived. it is a difficult change for sure. i am finding myself just as cranky now with my 14-month old DD and trying to have patience as she works through an extremely clingy phase right now. hugs to all the EBF mamas out there.

[Drummer's Wife]

weaning is hard - whether it's child-led, mother-led, or circumstantial (I had to wean my 1 and 3 yo abruptly due to a severe illness, a three week hospital stay, and tons of meds -- after tandeming for a year).

Lots of emotions and hormones.

[Hopefulmama]

Thanks to everyone who replied and was supportive. Motherhood is tough at times and we need to be supportive instead of critical.

[Surfacing]

Hopefulmama I am another who understands the mixed feelings. I am in the process of nightweaning dd2 who is 24 mos. She is not accepting it well, sadly. Tonight I bawled my eyes out with her. I don't really want to stop night-nursing but I have to make changes for when our newborn comes. I cannot nurse two babies at night due to health issues -- absolutely NEED quality sleep. Good luck in feeling better soon. It *is* heartwrenching.