4 month old not sleeping

[expecting_rain]

I am at a loss. DS#2 has been a pretty good sleeper since birth. For the first 8 weeks, he and I would cosleep together while DS#1 (nearly 3 yo) was with his daddy. Then around 2 months I moved DS#2 to the crib where I found he actually slept better. I always responded immediately when he woke and breastfed and held him until he fell back to sleep. His normal pattern was to wake once at night and then maybe again in the early morning (sometimes he'd keep sleeping until 7 am). He was swaddled and used a pacifier.

But then he hit 4 months old (about 3 weeks ago) and his sleeping (day and night) is terrible. I'm at a loss of what to do. Co sleeping doesn't help. I still swaddle and give him a pacifier. I follow our normal bedtime routines, but he is consistently waking more frequently, which in itself wouldn't be a problem but he's also having a harder time getting back to sleep. Sometimes he's up in the middle of the night for two hours or longer.

I worry he is overtired. He wakes from naps crying now whereas before he'd wake all happy and well rested.

My husband wants to try to CIO and I am just not happy with that idea. I let him try once and just couldn't stomach it. I'm convinced it's just some kind of phase but at the same time I feel like I'm failing as a mom as he is not getting the rest he needs. And I'm exhausted too. Sometimes I have to put him down and walk away for a while and just get my wits about me. I'm also a mess during the day because of the weeks of little sleep.

I feel like I've been through the check list: bed time routine, visit to doctor (totally fine), holding and wearing more during the day, feeding more during the day, etc.

Any thoughts? Has anyone experienced this sudden change and found it lasting this long? Any ideas on how to help my little one sleep better (and me too!)?

Thanks!

[bajamergrrl]

My DS just turned 5 months. At 4 months he went through a period of not wanting to nap or sleep. It correlated with the developmental changes he was going through, like learning to sit unassisted, roll, become more vocal, etc. The good news is that he seems to be to be sleeping better now.

[Maluhia]

sounds like a developmental milestone time.

And WOW what a good sleeper he sounds like previous to this!

[expecting_rain]

He was an excellent sleeper at night - not always a great napper though. He just learned to roll over, so I do think the developmental change is a part of the issue.

I truly, truly hope it gets better. and soon.

[LadyCatherine185]

There is a very common sleep regression around 4 months. Sometimes it gets better again, sometimes it doesn't. Could be developmental, could also be teething. My DS popped his first tooth at 5 months.

I suggest try cosleeping again, so you don't have to get out of bed. Or move his crib into your room, or beside your bed.

[lessmith23]

We're going through this in our house as well, DD is 4 1/2 months old. I can totally empathize as prior to this DD was sleeping in her crib for 12 hours, waking to nurse about twice. She did this for at least a month so DH and I got totally spoiled!

After reading quite a number of posts from other moms with LOs around the same age, it really does just seem like a phase. We've gone back to cosleeping and that's been a huge help in allowing all of us to get the rest we need.

I'm not a fan of CIO and for me, I know that DD is waking because she really is hungry. She's so distractable these days that she's nursing more at night to make up for less nursing during the day. Not sure if you are experiencing this as well but just something to consider.

DH and I have just decided to go with the flow for now. I try to remember as much as I'm tired, she's not doing it on purpose and she will only be this little for such a sort period of time in the grand scheme of things.

This will pass and we'll be onto the next thing.

[expecting_rain]

I do hope it's a phase and will pass soon. I will try to go back to the co-sleeping to see if that helps. Today he had three short-short (<20 mins) naps, but now he's sleeping in the carrier on DH. I think he just needs to get some sleep, although he really is a happy baby either way. Even with the multiple wake ups and short naps, he's never fussy and smiles and giggles during his wake times. I'm grateful for that!

[ChinaDoll]

: I wish someone had told me 4 month olds don't sleep ... because most don't! But I promise it gets better.

[expecting_rain]

Well, last night was even worse the previous nights. He went to sleep rather easily but woke three times in the first two hours. After that he didn't go to sleep for hours and finally went down in the wee hours only to wake two hours later, nurse, and fall back to sleep for about another 3 hours.

Has it ever been this bad for anyone else? He is just not sleeping. I'm sad.

Any ideas how both of us can get some rest, at least at night?

[Maluhia]

It is exhausting and sad, but yeah, during sleep regressions and growth spurts we've all been there.

[LadyCatherine185]

Originally Posted by expecting_rain

Well, last night was even worse the previous nights. He went to sleep rather easily but woke three times in the first two hours. After that he didn't go to sleep for hours and finally went down in the wee hours only to wake two hours later, nurse, and fall back to sleep for about another 3 hours.

Has it ever been this bad for anyone else? He is just not sleeping. I'm sad.

Any ideas how both of us can get some rest, at least at night?

It has been that bad and far far worse for us for the first 15 months of DS's life. Only in the last month or so has it gotten better (we're just now getting 2 and 3 hour long stretches).



Cosleeping and side-nursing, taking naps with DS, and having DH take DS out on the weekends so I can nap have been life-savers for me.

[expecting_rain]

THanks for the replies. It is comforting to some extent to know that this is not unusual. It also gives me hope that things will improve, eventually.

[ChinaDoll]

It will, it really will, even if it doesn't seem like it right now.

I remember when my DD was 4 months old, and my DH was gone overnight for the first time. She was swaddled, we had nursed and nursed and nursed, and she was cuddled beside me wearing a clean diaper, SCREAMING. I laid there crying beside her but amazingly, things got a little better in a few weeks, and I promise, she eventually did start to sleep for longer stretches and even to STTN eventually! Hang in there!

[Loralz]

And here's an article about the 4-month sleep regression. I also got the book she recommends and it was invaluable for us to know what was going on.

http://www.askmoxie.org/2006/02/qa_what_are_sle.html