Making Self-Improvements Tribe - Page 7

[rainbowmoon]

I'm still here!

Things have been quiet around here for the most part. We have had the stomach flu for the last couple of weeks one after the other! blech! We also have a new puppy who has been keeping me SUPER busy!

[InMediasRes]

We're here. I've been really struggling the last 2 weeks.

DS had his SPD evaluation. I'm not going to tell the story all over again, but suffice to say it was a waste of time and worry for me/us.

I totally fell off the bandwagon with keeping up with my chores because I have not been getting very good sleep. Right now I am concentrating on getting myself some friends and going out to do things during the day. So far that is working out pretty well.

Not much other progress though.

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by leaveit2beeker

My new year started off with a miscarriage. So I am making this year 'my' year. I have become more mindful of what I am eating (and how much!). Being a SAHM is almost detrimental to my waistline: I clean ds' plate if he doesn't, I snack while he's napping, I eat dinner with dp when he gets home late at night...so I am resolving to keep track of what and when I'm eating. An extra 20 pounds hanging around does nothing for my mood or future fertility.

Dp and I finally got ourselves into a regular and frequent couples counseling program. We have some deep-seated issues that need work. If my pregnancy had come to term, some of these things would be put on the backburner for another 2+ years. We are finding the silver lining in our sadness and making our foundation stronger.

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage.

Glad to hear you and DH are doing counseling. I love what you wrote about finding the silver lining in your sadness and making your foundation stronger.

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by rainbowmoon

I'm still here!

Things have been quiet around here for the most part. We have had the stomach flu for the last couple of weeks one after the other! blech! We also have a new puppy who has been keeping me SUPER busy!

Sorry to hear you've all had the stomach flu. Bleah! But the puppy sounds fun. I believe you when you say its been keeping you super busy. What kind of dog did you get?

Originally Posted by InMediasRes

We're here. I've been really struggling the last 2 weeks.

DS had his SPD evaluation. I'm not going to tell the story all over again, but suffice to say it was a waste of time and worry for me/us.

I totally fell off the bandwagon with keeping up with my chores because I have not been getting very good sleep. Right now I am concentrating on getting myself some friends and going out to do things during the day. So far that is working out pretty well.

Not much other progress though.

Sorry to hear you felt like the evaluation was a waste of time and worry. Falling of the wagon of chores and not getting good sleep? That sounds like me, except I never quite got on the bandwagon.

Glad to hear you are making some time to get out with friends. I've found that to be very difficult, but definitely worthwhile when I can make it happen. I am still hoping to make friends with a few more people so I can reliably get out with people regularly when I want to. I just have to balance this with time to myself and family stuff. I feel like a juggler, but not a very good one. But I am improving, so I guess that's what counts.

We are in the midst of trying to help DD with anxiety that keeps her (and us, though mostly me) awake at night. We think she may also have sleep apnea. So we've started seeing a therapist but don't know yet if that's helpful. DD has an appointment with a kids' sleep specialist in a couple weeks. I'm nervous about this because I'm worried she may need a tonsillectomy.

I have been fighting within myself about what I want "on my plate" with family, home life, community life, my own personal stuff and art goals, and health goals. So I have been mentally going through a lot of weighing pro's and con's and writing lists in my journal to see what my priorities really are.

I have come to decide that at this point, I just have very limited energy due to medical circumstances (allergies, depression/OCD/panic, anemia due to heavy periods, etc.). So I am trying to weed out all the activities that don't either help me further my goals or make me feel happy. I am finding that I spend a lot of time worrying and fretting about stuff that I feel obligated to do. This is often instead of actively doing things that I would rather be doing, things that bring me joy.

So even though in some ways I probably don't look like I've made much progress, I do feel like I've been doing a lot of inner work. And that is helping put into place what I want to and need to be doing for more balance, love, fun and joy in my life.

Last night I slept reasonably well and my cold is getting better so I am feeling a lot more positive than earlier this week.

[Starflower]

I have made progress!

I am slowly changing my activity level to match my energy levels and weeding out activities that don't either bring me joy or further my goals.

My goals -

Personal goals:
Do art regularly
Play piano
Sing
Belly dance

Parenting goals:
Be more present with my daughter.
Keep calm - don't yell. (I'm improving!)
Improve balance of parenting demands with the rest of my life
Have regular family time

Relationship goals with DH:
Go on "dates" regularly to stay connected
Show affection everyday (we do this anyway)
Try something new together

Health goals:
Eat more frequent meals - especially in the morning
Eat more whole foods
Exercise regularly (this has been difficult due to health problems)
Be more aware of how I am feeling so I can be more realistic about what I take on.
Learn to say "No. Sorry, I can't do that." I am making up a list of things to ask myself before making any new commitments. I plan to implement a waiting period for myself before taking on anything new. This way if I think I might want to do it and don't want to say no right away, I can say "Let me think on it" and then ask myself the set of questions before committing. And I will allow myself to end commitments which are not working.

Household goals -
Ask DH for more help with homeschooling and other activities.
Pay bills on time. (Ask DH for help if too overwhelming.)
Do laundry more timely so it doesn't pile up. Put away after folding. (Ask DH and DD to help with this.)
Clean dishes after dinner and put away.
Eat at home more often - plan meals out a little better. (Work with DH and DD)

I see a theme here, especially in household goals, of needing to ask for more cooperation. I tend to just let everything become my job. Due to health reasons, I just can't do that anymore. DH is very willing to help out. So far, I always have to tell him what to do though. I get tired of planning everything, but he has said he'd help plan more stuff with DD and with meals.

DD doesn't like to help, though when DH helps, DD is more likely to help out too. We're going for a non-coercive approach with her. I know sometimes she likes to help because she actually cleaned the tile floor in the bathroom once. She is 6.

Our main challenge here is regular maintenance. Of everything. My energy comes and goes plus with my personality I hate doing anything in a completely methodical manner. But I am hoping to get a little better about keeping things to a dull roar around here as far as housework is concerned. My mom probably will be disappointed, but she doesn't live here.

That's one last goal: stop worrying about what my parents might think about me and my choices. We go against the mainstream in so many things, but I still succumb to letting myself feel guilty because of their messages that play like tapes in my head. (Housework is a huge issue for me because of my mom.) While I do not plan to cut them off, I am lessening my contact with them. And I feel better. I feel like I am deprogramming myself.

[allgirls]

Hi everybody..I've been following this thread closely and I've also made big changes in my life this year. I did a radio interview yesterday that was very pivotal for me and today I thought I would finally post on this thread.

I also published my first poetry book recently...and I'm almost finished my novel which is being published this year.

Anyway I've been on this path and it's going well..thought perhaps this might be a good place to keep the momentum going

Allgirls

[AntoninBeGonin]

Hi Allgirls!

How is your novel coming along? Can you tell us what it will be about?

I hope everyone is doing great. So far I've only caught up with the very last post. I'm going to leave this thread open so I can catch up with everyone. As for myself, I think I'm doing all right. For the past several months I've been attending a spiritual meetup once a week and last night my focus was on knowing that I have the power in myself to just get things done. In the group we like to sit and listen to messages (or intuition, if you prefer) so I will share some of the messages I received that I found helpful.

"Nothing is holding you back except the unconscious unwillingness to push through with real effort."

"What you want is totally within your grasp."

I'm also finishing up the book Sink Reflections. It's the Flylady book. I haven't started her system yet but I think that once I do I will have more structure and better plan my time. That's the plan anyhow!