Making Self-Improvements Tribe - Page 2

[Starflower]

Originally Posted by oceanbaby

Schedule, schedule, schedule. And some self discipline.

It has become obvious to me that the root of many of my day to day problems is a lack of any sort of schedule or discipline or plan. Whether it's meal prep, or homeschooling, or kid behavior, or cleaning house, or projects, or exercise, or whatever, it all comes back to lack of a schedule THAT I STICK TO!!!! I am very good at making schedules, but most of them last about 2 hours.

The minute something goes astray, I throw the whole thing out the window. As soon as I hit a mental block, or don't know what to do next, I withdraw and go entertain/distract myself (computer, book, etc.) rather than power through and come out the other side.

I'm tired and need to go to bed (another issue I am going to deal with), but I will be back to this thread.

OMG! I feel like you are looking into my brain! I am exactly the same way about schedules! Right now our whole family is off kilter because bedtime is totally out of control with DD. (And us, too, I suppose. We're night owls over here, but everything just keeps going later and later.)

I also find that when the going gets tough, I go get distracted. I think I am going to try to work on just doing something. I have a few things scheduled for DD just so I have to have some sort of schedule. We unschool part time and she goes to a democratic school part time where it's even more unschooly than us. I am beginning to rethink whether this is a good fit or not. I like freedom, but I seem to need some sort of schedule (loose) to bounce of off or I get way too scattered. DD seems the same way.

My main problem is that I have too many things I want to improve all at once, then I go a little bananas trying to do too many things and get overwhelmed. Usually, in the end, I just let everything slide out of exasperation. I do make some headway, but it feels like a constant battle.

I am thinking this week where I want to begin. And I think it will likely be with doing the exercises in a book called "Claiming Your Self-Esteem" which also deals with codependent behaviors.

[InMediasRes]

Originally Posted by Starflower

OMG! I feel like you are looking into my brain! I am exactly the same way about schedules! Right now our whole family is off kilter because bedtime is totally out of control with DD. (And us, too, I suppose. We're night owls over here, but everything just keeps going later and later.)

I also find that when the going gets tough, I go get distracted. I think I am going to try to work on just doing something. I have a few things scheduled for DD just so I have to have some sort of schedule. We unschool part time and she goes to a democratic school part time where it's even more unschooly than us. I am beginning to rethink whether this is a good fit or not. I like freedom, but I seem to need some sort of schedule (loose) to bounce of off or I get way too scattered. DD seems the same way.

My main problem is that I have too many things I want to improve all at once, then I go a little bananas trying to do too many things and get overwhelmed. Usually, in the end, I just let everything slide out of exasperation. I do make some headway, but it feels like a constant battle.

I am thinking this week where I want to begin. And I think it will likely be with doing the exercises in a book called "Claiming Your Self-Esteem" which also deals with codependent behaviors.

Sounds like me, getting distracted. I usually judge how good our day was by how much I tried to escape. Today I made a rule that I wouldn't touch my computer until 3 PM (that's usually when things start getting hairy), and DS was shockingly well behaved today. Huh.

I know what you mean about having so many things to improve all at once. I do too, but I picked a few small things for this year, things I know I can conquer, so that I don't lose hope and give up after a few days. Baby steps.

I've been thinking a lot about dealing with my mom and I decided - NO MORE. I am NOT going to listen to little critical comments and not say anything. Starting with the next comment she makes, I'm going to say SOMETHING. It should make for an interesting holiday.

And...I'm off to write before bed! I actually have something to write about too!

I'm excited to hear everyone's game plans and progress. We can do this!

[meandmine]

Hope you don't mind a list ...

1. Continuing to pray; praying more
2. Looking into meditation
3. Some sort of stretching/strengthening program before my soon to be 1/2 century old bod feels more like 3/4 century
4. Trying to constantly count the blessings rather than the difficulties
5. Doing a great job at work, but setting better boundaries so my kids don't pay the price.
6. Getting a grip on my finances before we tank which may involve some difficult decisions about our home and a lot of hard work involving a sale and move (Sigh)
7. Finding a position for next fall at a smaller school closer to home (see 5 above)

Hunh, as I type this I am thinking of my priorities ... mind if I list those (of the top of my head)?

1. Making sure everyone gets enough sleep; the girls need 11 hours, but only get 9 with my current work schedule. Maddeningly, that can only get fixed if I find a position next fall at a school closer to home and it will only gain them maybe 1 hr. of sleep, but that's still better.
2. Making sure my girls and I have more quality time together; these past few days we have read books together, baked, talked, wrapped presents and cuddled -- the way it should be
3. Getting on sound financial footing. I am so tempted to give up piano lessons, etc. because as good as they are for intellectual development -- they really are time consuming and EXPENSIVE. I'd rather have more relaxed evenings, but then soccer season will start soon enough, sigh.

M

[Krisis]

Originally Posted by Starflower

My main problem is that I have too many things I want to improve all at once, then I go a little bananas trying to do too many things and get overwhelmed. Usually, in the end, I just let everything slide out of exasperation. I do make some headway, but it feels like a constant battle.

OMG. This is so me. Like, scarily me.

Originally Posted by princesstutu

I've been working on my language. Lately, due to my living environment, I've felt like it's almost easier to communicate in less peaceful ways. But, I'm reading a book by Thich Nhat Hanh to help me with that. I am focused on and determined to use my life to create peace.

What book are you reading? I do love Thich Nhat Hanh.

I gotta write down some goals I want to work on next year. My grandma and I were talking about it today, and how not having a schedule is really hard on us. Grandma retired in 2007 and is finding TV is quite the time-suck. She and I were talking about keeping each other accountable with regard to scripture study, exercise, and practicing the piano (my parents got me a piano for Christmas! )

I don't know what my problem is with regards to eating right and exercising, because I *KNOW* how much better I feel when I do it, but I just don't do it. Why is that? Why do I not value my life enough to take care of myself? Why can't I respect my body? What am I teaching my son by being this big, by not exercising, by putting junk into my body to fuel it? And how do I resist the siren call of fast food/restaurant food when I'm tired, it's been a long day, and I don't wanna put forth the effort to cook?

My main problem is that I am a recovering bulimic. My mindset is often that I can buy a bunch of crap, eat it and throw it up. Throwing up is ridiculously easy for me. I have been a lot better about not binging/purging since I had my mouth surgery last month, but it's still a struggle, and still a temptation every time I'm frustrated, sad, upset, hurt, angry, etc. I'm going to start attending Overeaters Anonymous next month, as much as that idea scares the crap out of me. But seriously, I can't keep living like this. I am too big, and my life is in serious danger. And there's too much to do and live for.

I just wish carrots were as addictive as french fries.

[Starflower]

Kris

[InMediasRes]

, Kris. Old habits are very hard to break. I have very similar problems with food.

[princesstutu]

Kris That sounds like a struggle, but you're SO strong! You can do whatever you set your mind to!

I'm reading Creating True Peace: Ending Violence in Yourself, Your Family, Your Community and the World.

[sinsaratea]

Originally Posted by Krisis

I am convinced that most of my issues stem from a lack of self discipline. I spend too much money, I eat way too much, I waste a lot of time, etc. So yeah, I want to work on that this year. And hopefully not spend as much, work out more, lose 100 lbs, and generally improve my awesomeness.

This! Its like i wrote it.

Originally Posted by Krisis

I don't know what my problem is with regards to eating right and exercising, because I *KNOW* how much better I feel when I do it, but I just don't do it. Why is that? Why do I not value my life enough to take care of myself? Why can't I respect my body? What am I teaching my son by being this big, by not exercising, by putting junk into my body to fuel it? And how do I resist the siren call of fast food/restaurant food when I'm tired, it's been a long day, and I don't wanna put forth the effort to cook?



I just wish carrots were as addictive as french fries.

Sigh, this too.

I have an assortment of goals for this year both deep and not so deep.
1. I want to deep clean this place. I am emerging from all the crap of the past few years and this house has taken the brunt.
2. In order to do this I am going to have to be more self-disciplined. Throw things away right then. Put the dishes up right then. You know the drill.
3. Stop wasting money. On getting fast food that makes me fatter and prevents my reaching my health goals. On little crap that i dont need.
4. once the house gets clean i'm actually going to decorate it. after 6 years it deserves something more than clutter chic.
5. stop putting off my dreams. work on my writing and get published or get a spec script in to NBC.
6. lose weight/ get healthy.

so yes, another vote for self-discipline!

[almadianna]

We got a Wii this christmas and it keeps making fun of me because i gained weight during the holidays. I gained like a pound and a half!

I guess I need to add to my list to lose weight since that is what I wanted the Wii to help me with anyways (for more exercise).

But I am happy that we decluttered 3 boxes of toys from the kids old toys to donate because they were too small for them. yay!!!! I <3 decluttering.

[Shakti77]

1. Be gentle with my daughter. I practice GD, AP almost all the time except when it's really needed. I snap/scream/and very rarely give her a smack - regretting while doing it but unable to stop myself. I want out of this habit. I want her feel loved, cherished and nurtured.

2. Get rid of the clutter - from the home and from my body. I started this last year and have decluttered a bit since then. But I have a long way to go.

[Starflower]

I love the lists! I am getting things in order in my head, then I will post a list when I get it in order on paper.

Yay for decluttering and being more gentle with our kids! Those are both on my list too. I just want to make sure what I put on the list is doable. Not necessarily easy, but doable, so I don't get bogged down again this time.I guess being more regularly scheduled is the big one on my list. DD seems to really need some structure to her days to help with anxiety. So....

Tomorrow I am going to buy a calendar for our family - a wall organizer type. I'd like to find the mom's calendar again by Sandra Boynton. I like fun, silly stuff when I am trying to get organized.

Also considering a pocket calendar. I never used to forget appointments but now I do when I am stressed. My main goal would probably be finding ways to reduce stress in my life. I don't know. Everything is so interconnected I have trouble figuring out where to start.

[TwinMom]

I have been thinking a lot about self-improvement lately, too. I don't like myself. I have said that to dh and friends and they either look at me like I'm crazy or start telling me all the good things about myself. I can't get them to understand that, yeah, I know there are good things about myself, but those things all relate to how THEY see me and how I see me is very different.

I don't have a concrete list yet, though I'm sure I will, I'm a list-maker, but one idea I had was working on one habit/trait each month while keeping the rest of them in the back of my mind. Really focusing my efforts on that one thing will work better for me than working on a handful.

Starflower, do you have a blackberry/iphone/pda? I could not live without my blackberry, everything I need is on it. Some days I have ten or twelve alarms going off to remind to do everything from taking kids to an activity, taking meds, switch laundry, etc. I resisted the electronic calendar for a long time, but now I can't imagine living without it.

[Krisis]

Twinmom. It seems to me like the last time I liked myself was in September of 2006. I'd like to feel that way again, someday.

[AntoninBeGonin]

Originally Posted by AlishaB

I am reading "The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal" at the moment, so I definitely belong here!!!
I am trying really hard to do more things for me, like a shower once in a while!!!
Honestly, I am trying to par back and just concentrate on myself and my family.

That sounds like a fantastic book. I'll have to see if it's on Kindle yet.

I agree with your last part, too. This year, more than ever, I am focused on family first.

[AntoninBeGonin]

Kris, this is me exactly! I have bad ADHD, which accounts for much of my trouble with self-control, but since I'm aware of my problem I should be better at knowing my triggers and working with my limitations. This year I've decided to make small steps toward major goals instead of jumping straight into New Year's Resolutions. For example, I'm easing my way into healthier eating by cutting back on snacking and adding more fruits and veggies a little more each week. Ultimately, my real goal is to be mostly Raw, but I keep that on the down low because my husband would tease me mercilessly if I admitted that. (He sees nothing wrong with the SAD).

Originally Posted by Krisis

I really need to work on self-discipline. Whether that means going to bed at a decent time, not spending all day on the computer, or not eating an entire large pizza in one sitting will vary from day to day, but dude, I need help. I am convinced that most of my issues stem from a lack of self discipline. I spend too much money, I eat way too much, I waste a lot of time, etc. So yeah, I want to work on that this year. And hopefully not spend as much, work out more, lose 100 lbs, and generally improve my awesomeness.

I also really want to do more to further my education outside of school this year, if that makes sense. I would kill to go back and finish my degree, but we can't afford it right now so it's just not an option. I just discovered iTunesU and downloaded a bunch of courses - I am mostly interested in learning Spanish and getting myself back up to fluency, and learning Hebrew. Maybe. And I need to start writing again. And holy crap, I just discovered that Free Rice has a Spanish learning quiz. ROCK ON!

[AntoninBeGonin]

Today is my first real day of self-improvement. It has started off perfectly. I got up right when my alarm rang at 5 AM and meditated for a few minutes. Now I'm going to shower, pack my kids' lunches (today is Arianna's first day at Montessori pre-school! ), then get with my plans for the day. Today's plans are to finish cleaning the unused toys from the playroom, to clean the house, and to go study for at least five hours.

Good luck to everyone today, that you are able to accomplish your goals! I believe in all of us!

[meandmine]

Antonin ...

Way to go!

I normally set my alarm for 5:15 -- dread getting up, so way to go!

Today we start slow since my girls go back to school, but my school (where I work) is on intersession -- I don't have to go in, but I will, to get some work done.

May the rest of your day and week and year follow this same positive pattern.

M

[AntoninBeGonin]

Thank you, M! Wishing you a wonderful day as well.

[almadianna]

Today just did not start really hot for me... we woke up late and I got to work 5 minutes after I wanted to get here. Part of my self improvement was to get to work earlier so that I could get stuff done before others got here.. oh well I guess I can always keep trying!

[AntoninBeGonin]

Almadianna, I'm sure you'll get into the schedule you want. Good luck tomorrow!