So: Where are all these 3yo boys getting their dresses from?

[eepster]

The other thread (as well as plenty of past ones) got me wondering, where are these 3yo boys getting these dresses they insist on wearing from? At one point in the most recent thread, someone expressed that they doubted the mom was the one who wanted the boy to wear a dress, and I thought to myself "well she probably got it for him?"

I know when I take my 3yo boy shopping, with the exception of a few really coveted items (a shirt with a train on it, or sparkly high heel shoe that don't fit him so I'm not buying) he is mostly interested in rolling around on the floor, or crawling under the racks. The main interest he has shown in girls dresses when we pass that department on the way to boys is seeing them swinging on the rack.

I'm not going to buy DS a dress just b/c he decides to hide in a rack full of them. Those things are expensive, and we only have so much money to spend on clothes. I need to buy him stuff he can wear to school, if I spend all my money on pretty dresses for him I can't buy him bluejeans. If he expressed a deep heartfelt desire for a particular dress, and was willing to discuss when he wear it, then sure I'd get him one, but are 3yo boys actually doing this?

Are there actually 3 yo boy express an actual desire to own and wear dresses? Do they all just find older sisters dresses and just put them on? (DS sometimes puts on my bras if he gets a hold of them.) Where are these dresses coming from.

[Daffodil]

My DS gets them (and the desire to wear them) from his older sister.

[lovemybubus]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

My DS gets them (and the desire to wear them) from his older sister.

Ditto. (I think) Maybe the desire was always there and she helped bring it out? Who knows. But he did go through a phase of wearing them daily over the summer. When getting ready (he's 2) he would say, "I want to wear a dress!" and so we'd help him put one on. Me and dh have absolutely no problem with what he wants to wear

[spedteacher30]

my son is an only child.

he found his dress last year on the halloween costume clearance rack. it is a pink and purple ballet tutu butterfly costume. It was two dollars, so I bought it for him because he loved it so much.

I don't *want* him to wear it, but I also don't want him *not* to wear it.

[eclipse]

My ds wears dd's dresses and our dress up dresses (which belong to all of the kids). But if he wanted one of his own, I'd buy it for him. He's happier with the fancy dress up princess dresses than he would be with "regular" dresses, so he's never asked for a regular one. If he was asking for regular dresses and I wasn't sure it was something that was going to last until they were out grown, I'd buy a few at a thrift store or ask for hand me downs from friends.

[GuildJenn]

I was that kid totally uninterested in clothes...and I'm a girl.

My son is an only (surviving) child. He's asked for dresses a few times. The first time we were at a playgroup and one of the girls was wearing a sort of tutu thing and he asked; later we were out at H&M buying him socks and he saw a display that had a little dress-up kit with wings, wand, and tutu-like fairy skirt. It was inexpensive and we bought it.

The second time, he has a friend at school who went through a phase of only wearing her purple dresse(s, I think). He asked and asked and asked for a purple dress. We were at a thrift store and he asked if they had dresses for his size there, so we looked and they did.

When I wear a skirt or a dress or heels, he often goes to get his or he says he wants a twirly skirt. Then he'll want a belt or a jacket like daddy. Although I'm sure as he grows he'll identify more with my husband, right now he waffles a lot and I think that's normal.

I'm not sure why you wonder about it so much; no child comes with an inborn desire for a particular type of clothing. After all in many cultures men have worn skirts or dresses or long tunics or high heels or whatever.

[eclipse]

And to add to that, at his age, pretty much all of his clothes are second hand. So while I probably wouldn't cut into the clothing buget for a new dress, I also wouldn't for a pair of pants or shirt. Hand me downs for my older kids have dried up quite a bit, and that's where I spend the money. I don't forsee my almost 9 yo boy wanting to wear a dress, but at his age, if he was asking for one, I'd be pretty sure he'd actially want it for the long term.

[hipumpkins]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

My DS gets them (and the desire to wear them) from his older sister.

Yup that's us, too. DS also inherited one of DD's dresses as his to keep and he wore it when he was 3. It was very cute with snoopy on it.

[alexsam]

Originally Posted by spedteacher30

my son is an only child.

he found his dress last year on the halloween costume clearance rack. it is a pink and purple ballet tutu butterfly costume. It was two dollars, so I bought it for him because he loved it so much.

I don't *want* him to wear it, but I also don't want him *not* to wear it.

Yes... Similar here. My son goes to a very small preschool and randomly, there are two boys and 12 girls. He spends a lot of time playing with girls and his best friend is a girl. So, when Halloween came and the "uber-girly" tu-tu sparkly dresses were out, he wanted one. So, I got it for $3 (it was second hand and in good condition, plus it was of stretchy material, so he wore it over his regular clothes). He had asked for a dress before, so this was a good opportunity.

He wore it for 3 days. It now sits on a hanger in the closet and he has no more interest in it. I'm glad we got it. He had the experience of "the twirl", seeing what it felt like. And then, he moved on.

If he wants to try a dress, I'd go to Goodwill, find a fun one for a few dollars, and go that way. Or, ask a friend with a daughter to borrow a dress. I think for a lot of boys, it is just to see what it feels like and then the interest passes.

[eepster]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

I'm not sure why you wonder about it so much; no child comes with an inborn desire for a particular type of clothing. After all in many cultures men have worn skirts or dresses or long tunics or high heels or whatever.

DS rarely expresses a desire for a particular type of clothes. He rarely talks about wanting shirts, pants or shorts. He usually only is interested in the themes on the clothing. He is equally impressed by a shirt with a choo-choo train or a hat with a choo-choo train. The only types of clothes he ever asks for is belts when his pants are falling down (he's a skinny kid) and sometimes socks for when his hands are cold (yes, he owns mittens but likes socks sometimes.)

He does sometimes express interest in girly shoes, but they always look bad for his feet (yes, if I had a 3 yo DD I would still say "no" to sparkly high heels that didn't fit.) I almost bought him a pair of ladybug boots last winter, but once he tried them on he decided they weren't comfortable.

I guess the surprise is more about a 3yo boy being all that interested in what type of clothes he wears in the first place. Actually I'd be pretty surprised if a girl did unless she'd been told repeatedly the girls wear dresses.

[Girlprof]

I sent DH and DS to K-mart together to buy *the dress*. Yes, at about 3 years old, DS asked for one, often enough that we decided to get one. Not sure why we didn't try Goodwill? Maybe they were at K-mart already? Anyway, they had a very cool shopping trip with it. DS originally picked out something too $$, but relented when he was told to find something cheaper. He wanted something "not too expensive, fancy, but not too fancy".....etc. They found a gorgeous dress for about $12 - pink with lots of little rosebuds. I would have loved this dress if I hadn't been a tomboy. He wore it tons and tons, though now at 6, he can't explain why he did that.

I hope when he's a dad he remembers dress shopping with his own dad.

[Fuamami]

Originally Posted by eepster

I guess the surprise is more about a 3yo boy being all that interested in what type of clothes he wears in the first place. Actually I'd be pretty surprised if a girl did unless she'd been told repeatedly the girls wear dresses.

Ah, yes, but some children definitely are. I would have been surprised, too, because my dd was much like your son. Even now that she's in public school, her number one concern with her clothing is comfort.

My son, however, has been very concerned about what he was wearing for quite a while, since he was able to express it, at least. He also is a very, very masculine child and so he noticed that men, who he's always admiring and looking up to, wear certain kinds of clothes. For example, he LOVES my dad, who is a cowboy. So since before he was two he's been obsessed with cowboy boots, jeans, button-down shirts, and hats.

Anyway, I can imagine that if he were slightly more interested in his feminine side, he would choose dresses because he liked the way they made him look and feel. His sister does sometimes put him in them, but he looks like the typical boy who is just putting up with it for his sister.

[GuildJenn]

Originally Posted by eepster

I guess the surprise is more about a 3yo boy being all that interested in what type of clothes he wears in the first place. Actually I'd be pretty surprised if a girl did unless she'd been told repeatedly the girls wear dresses.

My son (4) is very into what he wears, which he mostly gets from what he sees around him. Like this year he said "I want blue snowpants with the straps on them and pockets." He also wants tights like mine. He's been this way since he could point at the store. For example, he rarely will wear green. He doesn't like it. He likes deep reds and any shade of blue. He doesn't like waffle-weave anything, and he doesn't like jogging pants with cuffs that go in. He only likes pants that have belt loops, even though he rarely wears his belt, although there's one pair of jeans he'll only wear with a belt..etc.

We're pretty relieved his Montessori has a uniform.

He hasn't been into heels but I'd definitely say no to those too.

[amma_mama]

Originally Posted by GuildJenn

We're pretty relieved his Montessori has a uniform.

Very cute...I know how long it takes for me to get DD out of the house in the morning, so I can only imagine what your mornings look like...though I imagine you have it down to a science now!

[bandgeek]

I think most of the time it's 1) from an older sister or 2) the boy begs enough for one and mom and dad are open-minded enough to let him have one.

I like this blog. Some boys really DO care.

[Litcrit]

Some kids are more into clothes than others.

My only stipulation when I was a little girl and we were going out was 'clothes I'm allowed to get really dirty and are comfy for climbing trees'. Oh, and 'no dresses'.

My daughter became very interested when she was about 18 months old, however. She likes bright colors and dresses.

[hipumpkins]

My son has been very particular about what he wears for a long time, some is comfort some based on color . I remember laughing b/c he was way more interested than my Dd was at he same age. she didn't care until around age 5.

[One_Girl]

My brother loved wearing dresses for a very long time, he sometimes still does. He used my dresses since there were two of us. The thrift store I go to with dd has very cheap, fancy dresses form $4-$6. I don't see why a three year old boy couldn't be interested in the dresses even if your son isn't. My dd was interested in the dresses when she was three and it had nothing to do with me encouraging her to, they were to pricey and I hadn't discovered the thrift store at that point. All kids aren't born the same.

[Jessy1019]

My son asked for a dress when I wouldn't let him wear his sister's (it didn't fit, and it was hers -- she didn't have to lend it, and she didn't want to). So, we went shopping for a dress. He's also pointed out ones that he likes in stores, and I dug out his sister's outgrown ones when he expressed an interest.

I love that he wears dresses.

[elmh23]

The only reason my sons would be wearing a dress is because they pinched it from older sisters drawer. Ds1 has no interest in them though, and doesn't really ask for any clothing at stores unless there is a train on it, and even then he'll usually just yell "TAIN" until I acknowledge it.

We also have limited funds when it comes to clothing and I will not spend money on things "just for fun."