getting 28 MO off nursing to sleep

[taramoon13]

ds has only ever nursed to sleep, except in the car. i'm not so worried about him going during the day w/o nursing because if he's distracted enough he doesn't care about it, it's the nighttime i'm worried about. my main reason is that i have a minor surgery coming up that i have to be sedated for and was told that i won't be able to nurse for 24 hours because of the sedation med. i'm trying to work ds up to this, but i don't even know where to begin. i've tried saying "milk is going to bed, you can have some in the morning" and having dh go through the whole bedtime routine without me there, but eventually he asks for milk and isn't going to give up. i would really like to have this happen without ds getting too upset, but i'm starting to wonder if it's possible. i am a SAHM, never pumped or used bottles, so doing that now is out of the question. dh is giving me a hard time saying i'm ridiculous for even thinking of putting my surgery off because of this, but it really worries me! HELP!!

[SundayCrepes]

I haven't been there, done that, but maybe cold turkey would be the way to go.

Actually, I have btdt. When my son was 31 months we were in the process of adopting. We got a call in the morning about a just born baby. I was nursing her within hours. I wanted to take her home that night so my son wouldn't have to be without me. The pediatrician talked me into staying overnight. (I'm glad I did. It's the only time I've ever been with just her. We got to bond.)

Anyway, at bedtime my husband took my son home from the hospital and put him to bed. No problems. Maybe you could leave and spend the night somewhere else. Or leave and sneak back in and sleep in a different room.

I was horrified to leave my son and, whether I liked it or not, he did just fine without me there.

[Tjej]

My DS is just 2 right now, but what has worked for us is me just being gone. He can understand that I'm not there so he can't nurse. Usually I will nurse him later when I get home, but there are a few times now that he has been away from me for a night (I went on one trip and then he stayed with Grandma and Grandpa the other night). When I'm gone he doesn't ask. When I was gone for my trip he did miss me, but we were really clear about explaining when I left and that I was gone and I even did little webcam videos for the kids for each night. He didn't ask for nursing when I wasn't there (or if he did, they just told him I wasn't there and he could see that so he accepted it).

Tjej

[taramoon13]

Originally Posted by SundayCrepes

I haven't been there, done that, but maybe cold turkey would be the way to go.

Actually, I have btdt. When my son was 31 months we were in the process of adopting. We got a call in the morning about a just born baby. I was nursing her within hours. I wanted to take her home that night so my son wouldn't have to be without me. The pediatrician talked me into staying overnight. (I'm glad I did. It's the only time I've ever been with just her. We got to bond.)

Anyway, at bedtime my husband took my son home from the hospital and put him to bed. No problems. Maybe you could leave and spend the night somewhere else. Or leave and sneak back in and sleep in a different room.

I was horrified to leave my son and, whether I liked it or not, he did just fine without me there.

yes, me going and staying somewhere else for the night is what i was thinking too. ds would probably make it through fine and i'm just building it up in my mind!! it would just make me feel better to witness him going to sleep w/o me for at least one night before the surgery. i'm glad to hear of someone who went through this and it went ok at least

[sugarmoon]

My son is just about the same age and I just transitioned him to falling asleep without nursing. At this age, they are old enough to understand some simple "rules". I told my ds that milkies are only for downstairs (our bedrooms are all upstairs) now. The first night was not without crying, and I empathized a lot, lay with him and he played with my hair (which he has always done while nursing, and was *at least* as important to him as nursing, if not more), and offered him a sippy cup of kefir to drink in bed (and when he wakes in the night).

I'm a single mom, so I did this all myself, and the transition was pretty quick and smooth.

hth!

[taramoon13]

i did try this one night, telling ds that milk had gone to bed and he could have it in the morning. i tried for a while, hoping he'd give in eventually, but ds is pretty headstrong though and he was not going for that at all!!

[sugarmoon]

Yeah, you've got to stick with it for more than one night, that's for sure. In my experience with night weaning, it isn't going to happen until *I* am good and ready. And it sounds like you are only doing this now b/c of the surgery --- I'd say not to worry about it, he'll get by with daddy for one night, and you can night wean when you are both ready!

[taramoon13]

thanks sugarmoon, you made a good point. i shouldn't be trying to night wean ds just because of the upcoming surgery. i always had it in my mind that i wanted him to self-wean anyway and the surgery doesn't change that. it'll just be one night without me that i'm sure he'll be fine!
another thought: i think it would be better for ds to be here at his house that he's used to with dh and i can go stay the night somewhere else as opposed ds staying somewhere else (grandparents) and being without me AND at a new place to sleep?!?!?!