change of plans-- help for kiddo

[kdegroo]

Just looking for a little advice and support if you have time.
I was planning a homebirth for this little one due in the next couple of weeks, but was just diagnosed with mild cholestasis, and while am not unable to have a homebirth, I'm not feeling comfortable with it. My midwife missed it, and while I've never been 100% comfortable with her, I just don't really trust her now.

I think I mostly feel really sad and guilty that my 3 year old DD won't be able to experience her sister's birth. I don't like the idea of magically (for the longest we've ever been seperated) and then magically reappearing with a new baby. We've been prepping for and talking about a homebirth for months.

I need to come to terms with choosing a different experience, but especially would appreciate ideas on how to help DD shift gears, expectations, and still feel like a participant.

Any thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated!

[Peony]

No thoughts right now but couldn't read and not reply.

[MsBlack]

Is there no way for your 3yo to witness the birth in the hospital?

Also....are there no other mws you could talk to about hb?

Maybe that would not be easy, but I've had people call me at the last minute due to their realization that they just did not have the mw they really needed. I am happy to take them if we click well enough, if my schedule allows, and we can work out something about a fee. While I don't like people coming late to care and asking for discount if they've had no prior care (because most often, I will end up giving them nearly as much time anyway, as if they'd started w/me sooner), it is not hard to give a discount to someone who HAS had prenatal care, and HAS been preparing well for a homebirth.

Something to consider.

all the best as you sort this out toward a happy birth and a happy dd as well. What a bummer this had to happen but it sounds like maybe a blessing in disguise if it made you finally accept that your original mw just wasn't the one for you.

[at_the_hip]

I have had my children at my births...even if you are in hospital, as long as there aren't restrictions imposed by the facility, there's no reason why she shouldn't be able to be present. You should have someone ready to take care of her - or be aware that dh might miss the birth if she needs care.